I’m going to be going home Labor Day weekend and then maybe not again until Thanksgiving break. How often do most college students go home, and how often is considered “too” often?
It varies widely. I lived in the same town as my parents, so I went home every week or so. My high school boyfriend went to school 2,000 miles from home, and he didn’t go home until Christmas break. Whatever works for you is fine.
Ideally you should only go home at Thanksgiving. You have been on campus for a week or two and are heading home Labor Day weekend? Not a good idea if you hope to build connections with other students on campus. Or are you attending a :suitcase school"?
It depends how close you are…if fairly close, then labor day, fall break and Thanksgiving. If farther, probably only Thanksgiving.
If you can, I would try to find something to do with people on campus for labor day. Fall break may be a good time to come home.
Most schools do not have fall break.
I disagree with @TomSrOfBoston. It’s really an individual thing-as @MaineLonghorn’s answer shows. One visit home then staying on campus for the next 3 months is hardly going to keep you from making friends. But even if you went home every weekend, you’ll still be around other students 5 days a week. There is no “should” here.
My D won’t be home until Thanksgiving, and only because she got an unexpected gift before leaving for college. It would have been winter break had that not happened. That was the plan going in when she chose a college far away. My husband LIVED at home during college and he is still in touch with many, many classmates decades later. Not being away from home did not stunt him in the slightest. Do what works for YOU.
I should clarify that I’m going home Labor Day weekend because my parents will be away, and we have two dogs at home, so I figured I’d go home that weekend and watch them.
I don’t think it’ll really hinder my chances of making friends.
My D is a five-hour drive. She came home on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring Break. She went back for a 10-week summer research job and came home twice, once for a family wedding and once for 4th of July weekend. During the first 3 months at college (Sept/Oct/Nov) her Dad and wife visited during the parent’s celebration weekend put on by the school, my husband and I went up late October and another family member visited mid-November. In the spring, no one visited lol as she had made friends and kept herself busy both socially and academically.
This greatly depends on the college. At most regional schools/state schools, a lot of students might go home fairly often.
At a lot of the private schools that draw students from around the country, most students might not go home til Thanksgiving.
My friend’s kid came home Columbus weekend, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break (March), and Easter (April). Kid is 2 hours away.
Parents visited once in the fall and once in the spring.
It really depends on the student/school. I only went home for Christmas and part of summer since I’m international. However, some people who lived in the same town would go home every couple of weeks. On average, what you describe is pretty typical though (going home once or twice per semester).
Almost every day because I commute. But too often is more than once a month unless you have special concerns such as someone going back home to work one day of their job once a month to keep it.
DD went from So Cal to Boston, and only came home once a semester and at the holidays. She reported that she noticed a trend that the more people went home, the more homesick they were and the harder time they had adjusting. I would strongly recommend that you avoid going home for at least six weeks to allow for time to bond with kids at your school, but it is your decision.
I’m going to school in Boston, about 3.5 hours away from home. I am only planning on going home for Thanksgiving and Winter break. I have a fall break, but I’ll be staying in Boston for that because my SO is visiting me from
North Carolina at that time. I’ll also see my parents on family weekend in October, and we’re planning to go to Cape Cod for a weekend during the semester (I’ll take a bus and meet them there).
I haven’t thought about the spring yet. I’ll probably be traveling for spring break so I might not go home much/at all for the whole semester.
Besides breaks, I go home a couple times a semester. Sometimes for health reasons (sprained ankle, wanted to see own doctor and rest at home), personal reasons (I try to make it home for HS marching band championships every year), or mental health reasons (freshman year I didn’t go home until I basically had a hysterically homesick breakdown).
If I lived closer I’d be there all the time, but lots of driving over a weekend is not conducive to relaxing or studying.
I lived 2 hours from home and only went back for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring break. I didn’t go home during the summer because I was always taking classes. My dad would come to visit me once or twice a semester to get lunch or just hang out for the weekend when I wasn’t too busy.
I live 45 minutes away so I never spend a weekend at college lol. Go home every week.
I live a 4-5 hour flight away and so only went home for Thanksgiving (yay cheap flight!), spring break, and Christmas. This year I’m going home with a friend who lives in the area for Thanksgiving. If you live within a few hours driving, I would say try to avoid going home more than once a month - you need to develop relationships on campus and a lot of that comes on weekends when people have free time to hang out. I have a friend who lives about 1 1/2 hour away and she went home a lot at the end of the semester, but she had some serious health issues and needed to keep seeing specialists in her hometown - but she was always texting or chatting with us, she didn’t just disappear into the void. It’s fine if you go home occasionally, or even pretty often - but if you keep in contact you’ll stay more in the loop.
My kids attend/ed college a 6 hour drive, 8 hour train or bus ride away and no reasonable flights. We dropped D off about August 15 her first year, went up for family weekend in late September, then she came home for Thanksgiving and winter break. She went on an alternative spring break and didn’t come home so the next time we saw her was mid-May. After that, we brought her up the second year and didn’t see her till Thanksgiving. She stayed up that summer so she came home in May and went back up in early June for 2 months, same schedule for the 3rd year, except she tore up her ACL so had to come home for spring break. With our son, we took him up and he didn’t want us to come to family weekend so we didn’t see him till Thanksgiving.
This is very much a YMMV situation depending on college location, distance from home, finances, who you are, and what your relationship with your family is like. Though, generally, I think going home once a month or more is “too much” unless you live REALLY close, but even then… you’re going to make certain social sacrifices (and likely be seen as “less independent” by some of your peers if you’re going home all the time to hang out with your parents/do laundry/whatever). But again, that’s personal preference.
Personally, I went home rarely after freshman year–it was just too expensive and I was home for such short periods of time that it wasn’t worth it. I was on a very tight budget and so spending $500 on a ticket to fly home for Thanksgiving was not ideal. I did it once, freshman year, and never again. So for me, standard was home for Christmas break, home for summer and that was it. I learned to cultivate “friend families,” with whom I spend Thanksgiving/Easter each year and that worked/works for me! (I live 2,000 miles from my mom at this point).
I can’t tell if you’re looking for permission to see your family more or less, ha. If less: permission granted! It’s not abnormal if you don’t want to go home that often, especially if you have to travel far to do it. If more… sure, but someone else mentioned and I agree: going home a lot actually increases homesickness instead of decreasing it, typically.