Try texting or getting on Snapchat. I see what my kids are up to that way and I typically see how busy they are, on the other hand, he may not want you to know that much ? We connect mostly via text. When I visit for family weekend, she basically tells me when she has time to connect. They are build in activities for parents that do not include our kids. I only visit that 1 weekend. Just be aware that these are the years they are becoming their own person but it does not mean you have to deal with rudeness. Just make sure your expectations are reasonable.
My seniors call or text about 5-7 times a week. They always have while away at school. My freshman isn’t a phone person. Usually once a week, I’ll send a text that says “I’d love to hear your voice” and she’ll call and catch up. In between, I may get a quick text. However, she’s not rude at all just busy.
I guess my question to you is what’s changed this year? Is there a girl/boyfriend? Had he complained about boundaries in the past? Is he doing okay in school?
I’ve always had the attitude that I can be a thoughtful and helpful parent, but I don’t go out of my way for someone who is rude or nasty to me. So that would be an issue for me.
@woodlandsmom. Awe, you’re welcome!
Currently my H’s mother calls him nearly every day and they talk a bit- she lives with his sister in the US. When he was son’s age he was in the US and his parents were in India with no home phone (they finally were able to get one years later- no more 3:30 pm/our 3:00 am phone calls from the business downstairs). H told me how he would tell his parents the letter was in the mail when he never wrote it. Communication is vastly easier now but young men haven’t changed.
My girls and I talked often when they were in college (everyday). D1 said she managed me by calling me when it was convenient for her instead of having me chase her down. Now they are out of the house working/graduate school, we’ll do group chat during the day and maybe talk on the phone few times a week.
I talk to my mom almost everyday.
Boys tend not to be as communicative, but it is rude not to respond to one’s parent. I would have a talk with him. Who is paying for his cellphone?
Yes…who is paying for the cell phone? We paid for our kids…and the deal was that they called us once a week at their convenience…using some common sense about whether it was convenient for us. If they didn’t call, they got to pay for that week of cell service. Happened one time with one kid.
Both call weekly and both have been out of undergrad for a while. Heck, even when DD was in Africa in the Peace Corps, she found time for a weekly chat.
I do not think it’s too much to ask for a short touch the bases call once a week.
I usually hear from my three via text daily. Phone calls are less frequent and every week or two if we don’t see them. I’d insist that connect with you on a reasonable basis, and it is rude to ignore your calls.
Every kid is different and generally boys tend to be less communicative than girls. However, what concerns me here is that he was communicating the first two years and now has stopped. My D called me often until second semester junior year. She was not rude, but many calls went unanswered and she might send a short text to let me know she was okay. Turns out she was struggling with her mental health and was talking to no one. In my heart I suspected something was wrong. She sought out help and was back to her old communicative self her senior year. Trust your gut.
Have you tried to openly ask, via text or email or phone call, if everything is okay? Mention that you’ve noticed a change and are concerned?
I think it depends on the kids, the parents, the family dynamic, the relationship between kids and parents, and what your comfort level is. I do find that girls often tend to call more often and I find that they tend to talk to mom more then dad. That said, I do think checking in once a week is good and I do think it is reasonable for parents to expect a phone call when they mail something to their kids…example, got the check, package, gift card, whatever you sent. That way the parent knows it arrived and is in the student’s possession and not lost in the mail…
CrazymamaB brings up a good point. If this is a big chanage in behavior, it could signal a mental health challenge. One of my was just very bad about keeping his cell phone charged and wouldn’t have it with him all the time so his not anwering was just because of that. One of my other kids, however, would not answer the phone for days on end when he was depressed. That made me frantic. It is better now. Certainly worth checking on.
I get more frequent communication when I use the kids’ favorite communication tool. Right now, it is Snapchat. I usually get at least a brief response to a cute picture of a pet, etc. When I want to see my kid, I send a selfie… and I usually get one in return. 
I’ve also found it useful to Snapchat “I can voice chat at X:00”, and I’ll usually get a response of a time that will work for them.
Being “rude” has never enticed anyone to communicate with parents.