How often to call?

<p>The ability of teens to text exceeds normal adult comprehension. At one point last year D was sending and receiving over 3000 messages per month. We asked her to curb it, because even with her typing at well in excess of 100WPM (she really pulls it off!!!) it felt like too much.</p>

<p>BTW, unlimited texting plans are not that expensive. Our AT&T plan gives unlimited texting to ALL plan members for $30. Unlimited texting for a single member is $20. The side benefit is that D responds almost instantaneously to text messages, but almost never to phone calls. She readily admits that she would rather loose the ability to make phone calls than the ability to text.</p>

<p>Get the unlimited texting. It is the main way these kids communicate at college. They severely underestimate how much they text. That can be very expensive if you are not on the unlimited plan.</p>

<p>Thanks but I am still a little confused. We have a Mac at home. My son does not have a MAC at USC. Can you still Ichat at no charge if only one Mac is involved? Also, my son has the AT and T plan for his I-phone whereas we have Verizon at home. Does this make a difference? Does everyone have to be on AT and T to get the text message service? Why do teens like texting so much?
How does it work? Do you need I-chat for the computer and the AT and T service for messaging on the phone? Thanks for explaining this as it is new to me.</p>

<p>iChat is computer instant messaging (you type a few lines and they read them as you type, then they type a few lines back--all live, so you both must be on the computer at the same time). There are many versions of IM--most popular is AIM (Aol's version, but anyone can download it for free and use it) among others. IChat and is available to Mac users but might also be downloadable to pcs--don't really know this so someone else may tell you. It is like other IM applications (you both must be on your computers at the same time and you type back and forth) with the added bonus of also having a live webcam hookup. If your s or d doesn't want you looking at them, they won't use it with you. Depends on if they are already using iChat with friends and like it, I've heard. One benefit of IM-ing is that one can tell when the student is online (his/her name pops up on your IM friends list) so you might like knowing they are available.</p>

<p>For text messaging, you tap in your message on your phone (also can use your computer to type texts if S or D has Verizon cell phone) and send to s or d's phone. They get a ping when it comes through and read it when they can. Some (my S2) will type a short note right back to you. Others (my S1) are too busy and then forget to do it later. !! But the kid gets charged a fee whether sending or receiving text messages and the costs really add up. A lot of kids text their friends all the time--what you u doing? Want to meet for lunch. That sort of thing. They can send a text to 5 friends at once or more. Texts are easier than phoning, are more silent (can multitask), more to the point, can be saved and responded to at more convenient time, and fun. More texts, more social and in the swing of a large group of friends.</p>

<p>If your family has the same provider (like Verizon) you save a lot of money on texting plans. For teens, I agree--get unlimited plans if you can afford it (or they can work to pay for it) if they do like to text. Some don't as much. </p>

<p>I think each student will let their parents know which form of communication seems least intrusive, more invited. Some parents try many modes and discover one gets much better response than the others. It may take some trial and error until you find the right method for your kid.</p>

<p>Hang in there.</p>

<p>Just to follow up for mdcissp - you can add unlimited texting - or a set # of messages per month - to your son's cellphone plan. We've gradually crept upward because my D's friends are text-crazy, and then our S said this is the way USC kids communicate with each other on the fly. Have you noticed teenagers staring at their phones and kind of twitching? They're not deranged, probably just texting :)</p>

<p>My problem with IM is possibly disturbing my son when he is in the middle of class, typing a paper on his computer, etc. Is this a realistic concern or does your child only know you are trying to communicate when they are not busy? For example, Madbean said your child has to be on the computer at the same time. How do I know if I am not disturbing/interrupting reading something for an assignment, etc.? Thanks so much for the additional info. This high tech communication is new to me.</p>

<p>Not to confuse, but you can skype as well for free on your computer. If your computer does not have built in speakers, you can buy some cheap ones at radio shack. You both have to sign up with skype....it is pretty easy. They walk you through the steps. It is awesome because skype works internationally....I always contact my family when I am on trips either by email or skype. There is a paid program on skype (for your phone) but I just have the free one for computers.
Check out Skype</a> official website – free download and free calls and internet calls Your son can put that he is busy when he does not want to talk.</p>

<p>mdcissp: Regarding the IM, there is a way to show you are "busy". One clicks in the "Away message" and a yellow page shows up next to the name on the buddy list. This is how you can see if your son is doing something and not open to messaging. The same appliies for you if you are busy or away. Also, within that Away system, you can choose various messages that would show up if someone tries to IM you...I am Away, hw, brb (be right back), At lunch etc.</p>

<p>with Skype, you can also use the webcam, which has a built in microphone</p>

<p>It's interesting to us that we hear more from S each year. In his freshman year, it was like pulling teeth to get ANY word from him. Sophmore year, he called at least a few times/month (which was an improvement). This year, as a junior, he's called already almost every day & sometimes several times in the same day. He seems much happier and more confident each year, so we just take things as they come & are pleased. Mostly, we let him initiate the phone calls, but now when we call, he returns the call if he missed it because he was in class or otherwise busy.</p>

<p>mdcissp</p>

<p>We found this thread to be helpful, and provided a lot of input from different parents.</p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/237053-we-miss-him-maybe-he-doesn-t-miss-us.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/237053-we-miss-him-maybe-he-doesn-t-miss-us.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Thank you HImom for sharing that =)</p>