How personal is TOO personal?

<p>If you do mention the divorce & related issues, I would definitely have some adult you trust read your essay to tell you if you have crossed some line into inappropriate. You may still be too close to the events (both emotionally and temporally) to write well about them.</p>

<p>In the 4Ds area, my daughter wants to write about her changed perspective on life gained from her job as town grave digger, particularly the time that she put her shovel through the cremains of "Fred." </p>

<p>We live in a really small town (pop 750) where clubs and EC are few. For a small town to work, everybody needs to pitch in somehow, and she just fell into digging cremation holes, and back filling after the funeral. </p>

<p>The essay is sweet and thoughtful and funny - but is it just too weird. She is applying to highly competitive engineering schools.</p>

<p>toadstool, from the way you've described the essay, it sounds like it might be one of that really makes one of the four Ds work. The sound of it reminds me of a hilarious and yet life-affirming book called Stiff by Mary Roach.</p>

<p>Even if it is deeply meaningful, emotional, and important to you, how will such a topic come across to somebody who doesn't know you at all? Depressing? Negative? Unless the answer is inspirational, I wouldn't use the topic.</p>

<p>what do you plan to say OP? If it's how it made you stronger, or an event that came out of it that enlightened you, then write about it. It has to sound positive, and, of course, about you.</p>

<p>toadstool--that essay sounds like it could be fabulous if written appropriately!</p>

<p>toadstool...Shakespeare put some of his best lines in the mouths of gravediggers. Just a hint of a direction she could try..see Hamlet.<br>
Perhaps she is thinking about Shakespeare while shoveling? :)</p>

<p>I am quite agree with nocousin, think seriously before you make a decision.</p>

<p>Something vibrant and insightful can occur when you dropped in the abyss of sorrow, like the grave of your parents' divorce. Since we are young that not many events and not much experience have we travelled (I mean most of us), the family crisis is a significant material in your comprehending the reality of life and in your founding of your own characher. So don't so recklessly abandon your topic. You can use your parents' divorce, viz a/some scenes influenced you most, to build the frame of your essay , in akin to the background music in a certain film, and you can choose how in that circumstance, you successfully observed bright things and developed even more eagerness of a positive life, in one or two aspects, to delineate your personality. The 4 Ds are difficult to write well, but it doesn't mean there is no exception to write well. If, only IF, others were all so wisely obviate such topics, it would be your turn to achieve the coup in your essay surprisingly.</p>

<p>I wrote about my bestfriend becoming a druggie.</p>

<p>It was pretty personal, to the extent I wouldn't have any adults read it.</p>

<p>but I do think it proves a point.</p>

<p>I learned a lot from this article. It is written by a student who wrote a pretty personal essay and got into Yale. Hope this helps:</p>

<p>An</a> Ivy League Essay: You in 500 Words or Less | myUsearch blog</p>

<p>
[quote]
Something vibrant and insightful can occur when you dropped in the abyss of sorrow, like the grave of your parents' divorce.

[/quote]

[quote]
I wrote about my bestfriend becoming a druggie.

[/quote]

These kinds of topics prove that you are an angsty teen, like lots of others. Have you read much poetry written by teens?
Please have an adult read your essay. It doesn't have to be a parent.</p>

<p>I want to weigh in a bit here. There is an entire application process called Quest Bridge for students who have faced hardships in their life. The reality is that a student who has faced real hardships that they have learned from is rather unusual in a pool of predominantly well-off students from the suburbs. At the same time, I do think it is important that the story has a purpose and demonstrates growth and maturity; whining, no matter how terrible the experience, is unforunately not good enough. </p>

<p>I would look at Quest Bridge's essay tips, sample essays, and admissions officer perspective here and see if you think an "adversity" essay is relevant to the story you hope to present:
QuestBridge:</a> Applying to College</p>

<p>If you aren't comfortable with having any adults read your essay now, then why do you feel so comfortable sending it to people you don't know, but hold the keys to letting you into their school? That doesn't seem logical to me. Even if you aren't comfortable having your parents read it, at least have your guidance counselor and some teachers read it. The more eyes that see it the better. Not everything they say may be constructive, but at least you can rest assured that any typos or grammatical errors are corrected, after so many eyes having seen your essay.</p>

<p>I wrote about overcoming adversity, but was very careful not to give too many details. Instead, I chose to focus on HOW and WHY I overcame those obstacles in my life, and how these challenges proved a value to me (i.e. what skills & knowledge did I learn that would help me survive and thrive in a college setting?). </p>

<p>Bottom line: focus on the positives, because no matter how bad the situation was it shows maturity and poise that you were able to see the positives of the situation no matter what.</p>

<p>I think there should be no rules, beyond subjects that to anyone would seem inappropriate, and this doesn't seem like one of them. Just anecdotally, I've known kids who have written about their parent's alcoholism and serious illnesses with great essays and successful outcomes. Go with your gut. It's not what you write about it's how you write about it and how much it allows the reader to get to get an insight into the real you. Be authentic and you should be fine.</p>

<p>If you went through it, learned from it, and truly feel you can write about it with simplicity and honesty, congratulations. You've earned the right to write about it - but don't do it unless you feel certain it's the right thing; and, as some people have warned, make sure you keep the focus on YOU. HSN gave you some good advice up there.</p>

<p>I think you can write about anything you want to write about. The trick is to make sure that you are writing mostly about you, and not about your parents. You might mention some things that happened to your parents but you want the bulk of the paper to focus on how that affected who you are and what you believe in. :)</p>

<p>Make it seem that life has placed you in the depths of the ocean but you fought through it and got to the surface. Now I have a question for you guys, should I write about how I overcame masturbation which is considered a huge sin in my community?</p>

<p>
[quote]
Now I have a question for you guys, should I write about how I overcame masturbation which is considered a huge sin in my community?

[/quote]
This question suggests another point: what is a good essay topic for one college, may be a terrible one for another. I doubt if this would be a great one for any school, but there might be some that would be on the same page.</p>

<p>I'd like to make another point here: don't assume that the fact that a person was admitted into a selective school means that their essay is a model to follow. They may have been accepted in spite of a terrible essay.</p>

<p>In short...I would not suggest including that. I do not see how it will help you. And you don't want to seem like an "admit me into your program because my parents got a divorce" pity party.</p>

<p>My co worker was thinking of discussing her families mental disorder; although, she is applying to a doctoral program in clinical psychology and it would appear to be ok...DON'T DO IT!!!!!! </p>

<p>Talk about how you have overcome obstacles in your life. Yes, this could be one but you it needs to flow well with your point in your essay. Most people discuss obstacles they have overcome in their academic career or professional experience.</p>

<p>Yes overcoming obstacles in your personal life is just as important, but again, you must make it mesh well with your academic or professional experience. </p>

<p>The only question in an essay is, "What makes you a strong ACADEMIC applicant and why should we admit you?"</p>

<p>Ok, maybe that was two questions</p>

<p>Anyways, GOOD LUCK!</p>