So as a bit of background to this, I’m going to add some explanation/slight rant, but it’s the best I can offer. Skip to the end if you wish, but let’s get through this together. Forgive me for the long post too, I’m pretty much pouring my heart out here.
My heart is set on teaching music at the public school level; as music is my passion and has been such a great part of my life, and I want to inspire and give other young musicians the same experiences and opportunities it has given to myself by opening up the world and community of music. When people say that when you do something you love and you will never work a day in your life, this is the equivalent for me. Of course in a practical sense too, I love the energy and community and could never imagine working in another environment more dull and meaningless to both others and oneself.
As of now, I am a sophomore, bass clarinetist and supposed section leader of the low winds (for lack of a more devoted player; low winds kind of drift around in band and aren’t a solid section). I can say I’ve played impressively enough to gain the attention of my director, and be recommended to a selective music festival with good reviews, and even surprised the band with my playing in the pit orchestra as a freshman in our fall musical, Gypsy. I am also a pianist; trained classically and the pianist-in-training for the school’s jazz band. I am also one of the “leaders” of the apprentice band, although only taking place of the other assumed “leader,” another student, when he is not present, although my positioning and said social status makes directing and getting a crowd of freshmen a little difficult. I have done well otherwise, being invited into a combo and performing and getting excellent scores. Bass clarinet is my primary instrument and piano is more of a hobby, although it is what got me into music at around 10 with my lessons. I’m going to begin lessons for the regular clarinet starting this summer.
Despite all this, I have doubts in my ability to make it into college as a music ed major. I may be considered to be strong in band, but this is typically given that I am the only bass clarinet with a functional instrument and can dominate the tuba with dynamics and good tone. Otherwise, I have a long ways to go, and I understand colleges don’t necessarily accept basses as primaries, so I’ve been trying to scratch up on clarinet again and it hasn’t been so pretty, probably because of how I didn’t have braces last time I was a clarinetist, although I’ve been seeing improvements. In addition to that, our school has an amazing and tightly-knit musical community, but offers very limited opportunities; there is little information or involvement with honor bands (I doubt I would make it anyways), and we don’t have a marching band, which I would assume is a huge thing, although I wouldn’t be much of a marching person myself anyways (I’m more about musicality rather than blasting on the side of a show,) although I understand it would be a great experience for students as well. There is a band council, however, which I would say would be the equivalent of drum major, but as of now, there seems to be no chance I’ll be chosen for the position next year, since others who have been in the higher band for an extra year or are more extroverted are being considered instead, although I’ve had a solid dedication to band and am always in the background there to help and have wanted to be in band council since freshman year. As of what I’ve heard, they’ve considered others, and I’m not included, but I fully understand that it is their decision and should be respected, although a bit disappointed.
Academics are on the minor of my worries, as I maintain good grades with honors, and am involved with extracurricular clubs, although I understand that they shouldn’t fade from my priorities.
So in conclusion, I am only average at this point in my musical career, have minute leadership positions and am the underdog in the musical community I’m in although I believe I’ll grow greatly as time goes. However I have a solid determination and dedication to “making it” in the near future. Lately I’ve even got back into the habit of practicing for about an hour a day, but how have your experiences been for you music and music ed majors, especially those late bloomers such as me? And what advice can you give for this seemingly lost cause?
I’m more determined than ever now but I can see my hopes getting a little rocky as I realize that maybe the best thing I could do for my future students is to not be their teacher if don’t turn out right. It’s a bit scary realizing that not all students make it and that I might be one of them.
Thank you and any insight is greatly valued and appreciated.