Since the moment I got into my previous university, I was thinking of transferring because I wasn’t really happy with the university. However, not happy with the institution didn’t mean I didn’t want to have a fun time in college, especially for the first year. Thus, I made some good friends, and I really enjoyed my first year there.
I never told any of my friends that I want to transfer or any intention that I would transfer. I knew that if I talked to them about transferring, they would try to change my mind or I would lose friendship. I was really afraid about losing friendship while I was in school. Also, I was afraid because I wasn’t sure I was going to be accepted to a university where I was planing to transfer.
Nevertheless, I got accepted to the university that I really wanted to transfer. I was really happy about this news. I was celebrating for myself. Then I got really worried because the time when I heard I got accepted was when the second semester was over. I heard this news around June.
Now my question became: how should I tell my friends that I won’t come back? I didn’t give them any chance to realize that all I wanted was transferring. They have no idea. I am generally not a good speaker, so I am unsure how to tell them about my absence. I’ve talked to one of my high school friends who knows that I am transferring, and she told me to not tell my friends until they ask/when they find it out. I personally think this is really rude, but I haven’t figured out how to word it out. Also, I am not sure if it’s better to make a phone call or just a text message is good enough.
I would like to take any suggestion. Thank you in advance for your advise.
I’d call the people you are close to.
^Yea solid plan. It’s your life, you can do with it what you want but just realize that after transferring you might lose a lot of them as friends because simply they’ll find other friends in close proximity to replace you.
I’d actually call or, if that’s impossible, email the people you’re really close to. This deserves more than a text message.
If it helps you, though, you can write out a bit of a script for the phone call, so you have planned what you want to say. Something like, “I’d been thinking about transferring while I was at Uni X, but I wasn’t sure. I applied to transfer to my dream school, Uni Y, not knowing if I’d get in, but I did, and I’m excited. The only sad thing about this is that I made some great friends at Uni X, such as you, and I hope we can keep in touch even if I’m going to Uni Y”. Or something like that. Keep it simple, keep it short, but make it sincere.
If they are good friends they will be happy for you and not keep you from moving on. It’s your life so what you think and do is more important. Good luck :).
My D will be a rising sophomore and one of her closest friends during her freshman year texted her (and the others in the group) a few days after school ended to tell them that she was transferring. They had absolutely no idea and were all shocked and very sad.
Agree with @RoaringMice that something more than a text would have been nicer (although my D did call the other student right away to tell her how sad she was but to wish her well at her new school).
FWIW, the college my D goes to has a 98% freshman retention rate and does not accept transfer students - so it’s pretty unusual for people to transfer out. I guess at many schools it’s not as unusual to transfer so maybe it’s not as shocking.
Good luck at your new school!
Thank you everyone who has left me nice advice! I knew I should let them know, but I just wasn’t sure what would be the best way to tell them. With everyone’s idea, I agree that I should keep my message simple and sincere as @RoaringMice said. I think I will call them. Again, thank you.