<p>Oh yes. That's DD for sure.(the e-mail address on her profile is what did it....) I knew that she read many posts on this site but was unaware that she was a member here. I find it interesting that she considered Creative Writing for a while. I had no idea......</p>
<p>Socalmomof2, it is not going to be an easy journey. I think that the fact that she has some good people who are able to help her on her lists already is a big plus. And her achievement at the community college is a big step in the right direction. I think she is absolutely right in wanting a residential situation. It is going to be a tough go for both of you because of the emotional issues involved, and being mom makes it tougher in many ways. I suggest you get some help, particularly with support groups for parents of kids/adults with bipolar/mental issues. It may be an eye opening experience as to how far your daughter has come and how tenuous things will be for her. It will give you some good common sense practical ideas on how to deal with your D on a day to day basis. It also gives you parents that can become your friends and support.</p>
<p>I suggest finding a support group of adults who have been successful despite mental problem for your daughters. Like Alcoholics Anonymous, she may find a mentor or some mentors to help her through the rough spots that she is going to have. I do know some adults who are successful despite a number of mental, emotional issues, but it is not easy, and I feel that a support group is crucial. Life is so difficult for those of us who do not have these problems, so for those who do, it is essential they have help, and I don't feel that most of us ordinary folk can help since we truly have no idea what to do.</p>
<p>First, Socalmomof2, may God bless and keep you both. I understand your wildly mixed emotions about DD, and I want to reassure you (from experience) that your feelings are normal. Also, don't despair, it takes a long, long time and difficult personal growth to get past the damage from those years, even if DD gets her own life completely put back together. I'd also like to say it is worth the effort, and remind you that none of us know how much time we have so don't delay.</p>
<p>My first thoughts as I read your post were that this DD needs structure and a women's college. Emerald and Carolyn are right, Mills would be very good, on many levels, for many reasons. I don't think that Smith, MH, BM or others too far away is a good idea, for the simple reason that it adds a rather large dose of culture shock to all the things she already has to cope with. Just dealing with two weeks of consistently overcast weather (not unheard of in New England in the winter) can seriously affect one's mood. Also, Mills is a much better fit as a non-traditional student, yet is academically strong. </p>
<p>I agree with Jamimom's advice for DD, but you cannot do it for her. You are not off the hook, though--if you really want to help her you will find your own support group for people living with bipolar children. If you cannot find a group that disease-specific in your area, then go to a local Alanon group. It really doesn't matter, because both DD's condition and alcoholism/drugging are diseases which cause severe behavioral problems. You will find that Alanon people are very supportive, and you will learn that you will help DD by helping yourself. I would urge you to make contact in person-- online just doesn't cut it in these situations. </p>
<p>One of the things you will learn at Alanon (or similar group) is that the onset of these conditions often inhibit the emotional growth that people normally experience during the teen years. Thus, the major/career plans do not really matter at this point, because she still has a lot of growing to do. This is one of those things you need to let go of.</p>
<p>Stay in touch--we're all pulling for you and DD!</p>
<p>Second the notion that a nearby school may be the best step. Perhaps because they already cope with so much volatility, many bi-polar patients try to keep their lives in a familiar structure. </p>
<p>Women's college may be a good idea too. wyogal notes the emotional blocks of a bipolar person. This is true of my brother too. The illness prevented him from fully developing--as brilliant as he is. When he was first diagnosed, the doctors asked us if he had many same-sex friends. He did not have any. Heaps of gorgeous girl friends--but no guy friends.</p>
<p>Many bi-polar patients do not read social cues correctly. The illness gets in the way of that crucial brain development. It turns out that same-sex peers judge us more expertly on our ability to read social cues. My brother was rejected in early childhood by his same sex peers even though he was clever, one of four boys and a great athlete. </p>
<p>A women's college might give your D a chance to hone her social cue skills in a same sex environment. The residence would be challenging. I'd hope she would agree to seek weekly counselling. For one thing, it can be difficult to get regular sleep in a dorm. Regular sleep is vital for a BP person.</p>
<p>For me, missing social cues is another tough disability to comprehend, similar to the issue of stability. I know my brother cannot read social cues, yet I cannot stop myself from expecting him to read social cues because my ability to read social cues is subconcious and instantaneous. Mind you, I've had 20 years to adapt but I often catch myself out in left field--with my unrealistic expectations.</p>