I’m in my second year of university and I could some advice on an issue. There is an issue in my personal life that does bother me, but not so urgent i need to tackle it right away, but when I do, I spend a lot of time on it and become obsessive. Due to this, I feel like I wasted first year of uni life a bit as I wasn’t as outgoing as I could have been. I’m in my second semester of university and was wondering, should I take a break from this issue and come back to it when the semester is over to focus on my uni work/life? I ask as I don’t want to have regrets in uni but I wonder if I do so, am I running away from my problem? What do you all think?
To be honest, it’s kind of hard to help, without knowing what the issue is.
It’s pretty personal/religious/spiritual. I’m asking about how to deal with it in general.
I suggest you seek out a therapist or counselor to help you work through/talk through the issue, since it bothers you. Having someone else involved may help you not get lost in obsession. If the issue is not pressing, you may get away with ignoring it for the now, but consider any future repercussions.
As I said, it’s not urgent enough that it requires therapy and as I said, it is more on the spiritual side of things and is done via research. My issues is I obsess over the research and this can make me neglect my uni life I fear. So should I wait until the semester is done to go back to it then? I was wondering, is it considered running from my issues and a good choice?
You should not let anything interfere with your education. I assume the research will still be there when you are available to focus on it.
Yes it will be. If I take a break(4 months), will that be too long perhaps though? In general, is it considered running away from ones problems?
There’s not enough information here for many people to give (or form) any kind of opinion on what you should do or how it would be perceived.
In that case, how much info would be necessary needed if you don’t mind me asking?
Remember, you are on college CONFIDENTIAL. You are already anonymous. Just spit out the issue and perhaps people here can offer some opinions. Otherwise, it’s difficult for others to assess the urgency and offer constructive advice.
Not enough info in order for us to give you any meaningful advice.
If it is a spiritual issue how about seeking guidance from a priest/pastor/rabbi/imam? Most colleges have an office of religious life (at Franklin and Marshall it’s called Office of Faith and Meaning) and most also have independent religious organizations on or near campus (like the Newman Center for Catholic students; Hillel for Jewish students, etc.). Is there an urgency to figuring out this spiritual issue? For many people, spiritual growth is a life-long endeavor so I don’t see how taking four months off will help. If you provide us with more information, you will get better suggestions.
It’s more a question on a specific spirituality itself honestly related to validity. As I said, it is not urgent enough that I need to attend right awayWhen I look into it, it makes me really obsessive and I worry I will just focus on that instead of uni life. I meant to take a break to focus on uni life for the semester and deal with it when exams are done in like April. four months is just to help me focus mainly on uni life. The research will still be done, I’m just putting it on a backseat. Does that sound like a good idea?
Oh, I thought you meant take four months off of school- which I think is a bad idea. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Yes, I would focus on school for the next semester and deal with it when exams are done. Presumably you will have more time in the summer (if you aren’t taking summer classes).
“You should not let anything interfere with your education.”
I agree with this comment by @TQfromtheU. University is a big expense and a big commitment, and you only get to do your undergrad once. I would suggest that you focus on your university classes and your university experience. There will be lots of time to ponder other issues over the summer and after you graduate.
Admittedly, I am giving this advice without knowing what the issue is. However, it sounds like putting it off and focusing on education is feasible at this time.
As it was mentioned, the research will still be there when I come back to it. So a break sounds good? It’s not like I’m running away from my issue, correct?
We can’t tell since we don’t have all the facts. Sometimes running is the best response. Your education is your main focus and you said the research will wait.
@NightRogue, two of my close family members have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Contrary to what many think, it may manifest in ways that have nothing to do with hand washing, being orderly, etc. It is very common for people who have what is sometimes called “pure O” OCD to ruminate about topics in a way and to an extent that their ability to participate fully in life is disrupted. OCD is sometimes nicknamed “the doubting disease” because sufferers often doubt that they have gotten that one true, correct, verifiable, final answer.
There is a very common manifestation that focuses on religion or questions of spirituality. Obviously, I am not diagnosing you, but my husband suffered from this manifestation for a decade (starting when he was a teenager) before realizing what was really going on.
For people who suffer from OCD, there is a tremendous wealth of treatment and information available that, sadly, was not available to my husband 30+ years ago. The International OCD Foundation is an amazing resource, as are books by Jon Hershfield. Cognitive behavioral therapy and medication are both treatment options that have incredible success rates. If the sufferer seeks and accepts treatment, it is a very treatable condition.
My husband looks back and cannot believe how much time he lost to OCD. For him, medication was a lifesaver.
Also, even if a person does not have OCD, if they are spending more time than they would like obsessing about a topic (in other words, if thinking about it is not enjoyable to you and limits your ability to do things you want to do - this is something only you can answer), the CBT techniques can be helpful.
Right now, you are trying to deal with the issue and also go to school. It is not working well for you.
If you can put off the issue, that is one way to go. If you can counseling on how to deal with issue, that is another. Dealing with the issue, but putting off education is another.
If the issue will still be there and not be worse, then finish your education first and then deal with it.
Also I don’t know if you are “running away” from a personal issue, or putting up strong personal boundaries.
@bopper and @TQfromtheU
Let me elaborate here: . It’s more of a religous/spiritual thing I need to research.When I look into it, it makes me really obsessive and I worry I will just focus on that instead of uni life. I meant to take a break to focus on uni life for the semester and deal with it when exams are done in like April. The research will still be there and the problem won’t get any worse if I leave it honestly, I’m just putting it on a backseat. Does that sound like a good idea? Is it truly running from my problems? It’s not urgent enough that I need to take a semester break. When I stop without finding satisfying answer, It nags me a lot and makes me worry. Is 4 months too much.
The thing is, when I research it, I become way to obessive and don’t trust myself to follow a schedule as I overthink things a lot and it nags me in the back of my mind. I just want to use 4 months to focus on uni and come back to it when nothing will change.
What do you think of what I have said? Does it sound like running or being logical?