I’ve just started my second year at my current university. I didn’t have a great time my freshman year (I hate the location of the school and I generally just hate the culture of the college) but I figured I’d give myself another chance. So far it has been really rough and just like how I remembered it last year, and I want to apply to transfer now so that I have that to fall back on should the rest of the semester be just as bad.
I’d be moving home and transferring to a college that would cost me less and has more prestige than the school I’m at now. I’m the one paying for my schooling, I should mention.
My parents are very proud and don’t like to admit to anyone that I’m going through a hard time or struggling. Every time I mention I’m not happy where I’m at they brush it off and say that this is the best experience of my life and I should cherish it. I need to at least apply to transfer but I don’t think I should keep them in the dark about it. How should I bring it up with them?
How do you, as a sophomore, pay for college yourself? You can only borrow about $5500 without your parents help.
Don’t know why this matters to you, but I go to a state school so it’s already cheaper. Also work and have been saving money for college for years. Birthday money, graduation money, etc all goes into savings. They do not pay for anything, I promise you.
How are you paying for residential college on your own? The reason we ask is because we worry that your parents cosigned loans. That’s a huge stressor for students. Since you’re paying for school, what you decide to spend your money on matters. Would your parents let you live at home if you commuted?
If it’s difficult for your parents to acknowledge that you’re struggling, don’t phrase it that way. Tell them calmly that you’re planning to apply for a transfer to your local school and if you decide to transfer you’d appreciate their support. Don’t talk about your current school negatively; talk positively about the things the other school offers. If they’re the type to withdraw their support if you don’t do what they want, it’s better to know that now.
In the meantime, do what you can to enjoy your current school. Have you joined clubs? Are you working? Get as involved as you can on campus while you’re there.
Frame this as moving UP to a place with more academic prestige, a better program for your major, and more/better pre-professional opportunities for you. If the money would work for you to continue to live on campus, then plan to do that as well. Some parents get weird notions about their kids not having a “real” college experience if they live at home.
Also along that line, some parents just don’t get it when their children have an experience that is less fun than they remember their’s being. The answer to the “best time of your life” line is, “I sure hope it isn’t! I hope that I have many even better times ahead of me.”
Wishing you many better times ahead!