<p>I am still looking for ways to communicate my interest in the process without being on the receiving end of an 'I do not want to discuss it' response. Any words of wisdom? I have tried to communicate to my hs senior that some interviews just 'go' better than others - but so far my comments are not well received. I certainly want to be supportive without being intrusive. Ideas?</p>
<p>With my sons, they talked about things like interviews when they felt like it -- which tended to be some time in which I was very busy or otherwise preoccupied. My trying to initiate such a conversation would always fall flat. I think our kids know we are interested, but want to talk to us about things like interviews on their own schedule.</p>
<p>Let them come to you. Encourage them by offering to help and wishing them good luck, but if they decline, don't force it on them. In addition, feel free to ask them how the interview went afterwards. If they are willing to explain, then great! If not, let them be.</p>
<p>I'm preparing myself for the inevitable, "Fine." And! Now I've added logging onto here and venting about that because I know you all will not judge!</p>
<p>?? What's the problem? I always thought a friendly, "how'd it go?" was the appropriate display of maternal interest. If the kid's answer is "fine"..... that's "fine" with me as well. Usually, "not so well" is the first step of a kid wanting to vent, whereas "ok I guess" or "dunno" is more likely to mean no more details are forthcoming. But anyway it goes, its not really my problem. The kid's take on the interview is generally irrelevant to the process anyway. A "good" or even a "great" interview tends to be an indication of a good (or great) interviewer -- someone who makes the person being interviewed feel comfortable and knows how to promote the flow of conversation. But that doesn't really mean much one way or another in terms of what impact the interview has on admissions.</p>
<p>Well "How'd it go?" "Fine" was usually about all we got. But you can ask if there were any unexpected questions, or ones you didn't know how to answer. You have to be careful not to make it sound like an interrogation. I wanted to hear ALL about it, but ds is not one to share. Making him share just makes him grouchy. We did eventually hear a fair amount about the interviews.</p>
<p>I say, "How'd the interview go?" "What was the hardest question he asked?" [Whoa--that IS hard...how did you answer that?!] "What was the stupidest question that he asked?" [Phew--that was a dumb one!] Usually the last 2 questions get the talking juices flowing.</p>
<p>I recently had a couple interviews, and after each my mom asked me how it went. Both times I just told her, "Fine." To be honest, I don't think there's anything she could have done to get more information out of me.</p>
<p>Early on the college search, at one school my son interviewed with, I was invited in for one portion of the interview (which at first surprised, and then kinda concerned me). I sat to the side of my son, mostly out of his line of sight and said nothing except when asked. It was in the next few minutes that I realized that what others had told me was true. He interviews well. Since that moment I quit asking him how his interviews go.</p>
<p>OP, Sorry my post above didn't help you. </p>
<p>ellenemope's "What was the hardest question he asked?" and "What was the stupidest question that he asked?" are great openers. Also come up with questions you can ask that can't be answered with "fine", or "OK". On the other hand, at a time when kids realize they are emerging adults and have the right to NOT share personal info with parents, some have highly developed the need to exercise that right behind those two words, fine and OK.</p>
<p>If my d thinks I'm prying into her business, she will not tell me anything, no matter how I ask about it -- and I suspect an interview would definitely fall into this category.</p>
<p>4trees, I was suprised when an interviewer asked me in too. First the adstaff person spoke with my D, and then they asked me to come in. This happened at a safety school. The Adstaff person spoke to me about grants and then gave me a application fee waiver. </p>
<p>At Ds first choice, I did not go in, but she came out and said, I nailed it.</p>
<p>Yes, I suppose this is more a parenting question, than anything, and kid specific, and so the q is largely one that can not be answered. My hs senior is all around the map with answers - and sometimes I guess accepting that no answer will be coming is my best bet !</p>
<p>Why is it that our supposedly adult children cannot realize that we'd ask the same question of our spouse, brother, cousin, neighbor, whomever, and it would result (well, most of the time) in an actual conversation about the interview, the job hunting process, and other related topics? It's not an interrogation, it's just a friendly question meant to show interest. Sometimes it feels as if my ds has regressed to about 13.</p>
<p>My son didn't drive or have his own cell phone so when I dropped him off at interviews I asked when I should come back. In one case the interviewer said he wasn't quite done, but to come in and join them. Most of the part I was present for ended up comparing what the school was like in the interviewer's day (1960s) vs my day (1970s) vs today. I was happy to see that my son seemed fairly comfortable.</p>
<p>I have never attended an interview with my senior. I guess I would not want to - because that's his gig. I just want to hear about it afterward - and sometimes I do, and sometimes, I do not !</p>
<p>Overall, he reports the best interviews are conducted off campus, not on, and those are very relaxed compared to the on-campus ones.</p>
<p>Exactly, Brink...what do you do when your future spouse asks you how your day was? Being tight as a clam in conversation is not conducive to marital bliss.</p>
<p>as a current interviewing senior, i dont feel the need to share what happened. And in regard to not being mature and acting like the question is just a nice one from another relative (this was mentioned somewhere on the first page), it's NOT a question from a relative, but a prying parent. Relatives that aren't nosy generally are just fine with "fine" or "good". Why can't parents see this? If it had gone horribly, I'd prolly be sharing my awful experience and wondering if that means no acceptance. Take the few words as a good sign...</p>
<p>Why is it when parents show interest in what a kid is doing it is considered "prying?"</p>
<p>^^^ very good question, ellemenope, but it certainly is the case in our household (except when I am asked why I am ignoring my d if I don't ask :confused:)</p>