<p>You really want to make yourself seem in a positive light. Don't put a dark shadow over your app unless you can make it seem good.</p>
<p>Be careful. Cliche is sometimes a mold that you can break beautifully. Or something that severely takes away from all your effort. Embrace your voice and write positively.</p>
<p>I actually disagree pretty strongly with that dude Miru's advice. Don't use lots of "adjectives and descriptors"; if you have to have 3 adjectives on a noun, you aren't using the right noun. I picked up the first book I saw on my desk, A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley. It won the Pullitzer Prize, no small pedigree. Here's an excerpt:</p>
<p>"I remember what I looked like because I looked different form Mommy and especially Daddy. Daddy was never without his work clothes, usually overalls, and Mommy always wore a dress. In the privacy of my bed, under the covers, looking down the waist of my pajamas or unbuttoning the top, I saw that I was naked inside my clothes, and another thing I distinctly remember about being a child is that awareness of oneself inside ones' clothes. Pinching shoes, a prickling slip, a dress that is tight across the shoulders or around the wrists, ankle socks bunching in the heels of my shoes."</p>
<p>Count the adjectives in that passage. I see "work" for work clothes, "pinching" for shoes, and "prickling" for slip. Nevertheless, it's a brilliant passage that evokes something everybody's felt before. Good writers don't need adjectives upon adjectives or adverbs upon adverbs; your vocabulary should contain nouns and verbs precise enough not to merit further description. A lot of overwritten, pretentious shlock suffers from the too many modifiers ailment, mostly bad college essays.</p>
<p>Degeneration:
are you applying to UChicago?
to me, it seems like you're trying too hard to mold your essay to the general demands of essays at other schools. I don't know... to me it seems that the Chicago essay should be less about you and how great you are and be more about something that's more primordial and simple. If you write it well and use good figurative language, I can imagine your concept for the essay turning out really beautifully, but at the same time, I can also picture an essay that screams "Me>everyone else." </p>
<p>I think I'm going to do the street essay</p>
<p>Degeneration:
Also, based on what I know about my friends' applications, it seems like Uchicago will be getting a lot of essays where people zoom in and zoom out on people, attempting to differentiate themselves from the entire lot. It also seems like there will be an overhwhelming profusion of essays where people "collide hope and despair" etc. </p>
<p>Also</p>
<p>The UPenn essay is "Describe the academic programs and unique characteristics of UPenn that most interest you. Why do those interests make you a good match for Penn?"</p>
<p>Based on that essay prompt, what do the people at Upenn expect? Will they probably be looking for information about my own experience and myself in the Common App essay?</p>
<p>For the common app, would talking about the character Oskar Matzerath be too obscure. THANKS</p>
<p>Do you think is it okay if I wrote about my research experience I only got this summer at UC Berkeley? I loved the research, but I don't know if it's too academic for the adcoms and doesn't "show who I am" in personality. </p>
<p>Main concern is whether it's too...lets say, forced. I can tell you in all honesty it's not forced at all, but I don't want the adcoms to think "oh it's just another kid who wants to show her interest in science so she can get into this program..."</p>
<p>Thinking about writing about my experiences running and comparing it to my growth as a human. It's not turning out very well, there is a lot to write about, and I seem to keep on focusing on my regrets of the past :/ not exactly something an admission officer would want to read, but my see-saw grades needs some explanation so.. cc what to do? oh and I cried buckets writing the first paragraph of my draft, guess I really have a lot of regrets huh.</p>
<p>^ I cried buckets, too, writing my first draft of how being rejected by the Senate Page Program changed my life....Maybe I should find a different experience to write about....</p>
<p>lots of good advice on this thread, so thanks to everyone who posted!</p>
<p>Yes, thanks everyone! You've really helped me because I hadn't even started thinking about my essays before I opened this thread and now I have a much better grasp on what to write about.</p>
<p>hey i really liked the idea of describing your room..if u r done with your college apps nd if its possible, can i have a copy of ur essay...m applying for fall09...so if it wudnt b a problem for u.....
i'll send my mail add if u can</p>
<p>i was wondering, how does one get a essay topic to write about. do i get it from the college i picked or do i write about whatever i want to? please help, new to college stuff:)</p>
<p>What do HYPSM want to hear when you’re responding to the “Why do you want to attend OUR school?” question?</p>
<p>They want to hear something honest, personal, detailed, and revealing connected with your desire to attend their school.</p>
<p>Would writing about the death of a parent be a “cliche” topic? My dad died when I was 3 and I have a draft essay about how his death affected me. I think it is “unique” because I didn’t focus so much about his actual death or even my memories of him, or about overcoming the “adversity” of being raised by a single mother. It’s about how I grew up not really connecting to his death and not really having any memories of him, but how his life has had greater meaning for me as I’ve gotten older. If that makes any sense.</p>
<p>There are no cliche topics.</p>
<p>There are only cliche treatments of topics.</p>
<p>Any essay that is personal, detailed/specific, and revealing–something that, ideally, only you could write–will not be cliche.</p>
<p>mmmgirl,
that sounds like an interesting topic to write about. You have me curious to read your essay. Good luck with the topic.</p>