<p>I was talking to my guidance counselor today and he said those who are admitted to good schools have "charming/charismatic" character and are very dynamic people who tend to think "outside the box". </p>
<p>How do I improve in those areas, especially for interviews? I am kind of shy and tend to be more reserved although I really want to improve my speaking/interviewing skills not only for admissions purposes but for life in general. </p>
<p>Thanks to anybody who can help!</p>
<p>Speaking as someone who was, and still is to a degree, very shy/reserved, part of it is just mentally forcing yourself to put yourself out there. For instance, I joined clubs to help with my public speaking skills (e.g. debate, MUN, mock trial) and just gradually built up my confidence. </p>
<p>In terms of interviews, does your school have a career counselling centre? If so, try stopping there, and booking a mock interview with the career counsellor; if not, find someone else who will do it with you. Practicing and getting feedback will help =)
Good luck!</p>
<p>One thing to consider is that the more outgoing and charismatic type of people don't only have an advantage in a face-to-face interview situation (which is a teeny-tiny part of college admissions -- frankly most schools don't require one).</p>
<p>That type of person may be more attractive to schools because they are usually opinion leaders, event/club organizers, and engage teachers/other students to a greater depth.</p>
<p>These items find their way onto recommendation letters, levels of leadership attained, etc.</p>
<p>Maybe focus on these items too? Best of luck to you.</p>
<p>To get over shyness and improve public speaking skills I recommend talking on the phone. Pick up your cell phone, go into your contacts, pick a random person in it and call, and start talking away. It's best to not even think about it and just do it. It'll eeach you to think on your feet and come out of your shell.</p>
<p>^ great advice. i used to be really shy and quiet at an early age but not anymore (except when im mad or something). something that really helped me was to stop caring about what other people thought about me. if you don't care what they think, you will say what you really want to say, and eventually lose the shyness and become more confident. just do what you enjoy, speak the way you want to speak, and dont follow the crowd. basically, be more confident in yourself!</p>
<p>I have one friend who streaked through the football field. From then on, he wasn't shy about anything.</p>
<p>But you don't have to go to that extent. ;) It helps to know why you're shy. Is it because you wonder what people would think of you? Are you just naturally inclined to be reserved? I agree with hpa10, if there's a time to NOT CARE about what people think it's high school.</p>
<p>Good luck,
Alex</p>
<p>i was pretty shy most of my life, it took a while to make new friends and let people get to know me.</p>
<p>i joined the school paper this year, and while i am still shy, having to talk to strangers and interview people you don't know has helped me loosen up a bit.</p>
<p>get a job where you have to sell things. try Best Buy, Circuit City, etc...</p>
<p>raise your hands to answer teacher's question...even if your answer seems to be worng...(actually i myself is working on this too...:))</p>
<p>I used to be extremely shy, and now am very gregarious. My tips:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Read self-help books like the classic, "How to make friends and influence people." If you can find a copy of the old book, "How to make small talk," I found that very helpful. I don't know if it's still in print, but I'm sure there are some books that are in print that would help you.</p></li>
<li><p>Get involved in Toastmasters Clubs. You can join even as a teen. Check the Internet to find out where there's a club near you. You learn public speaking in a very supportive, step by step way.</p></li>
<li><p>Get involved in drama or forensics. Take an acting class. They are fun and will help you loosen up.</p></li>
<li><p>I agree with those who suggest that you get a job (or do volunteer work) in which you have to answer the phone or directly help others.</p></li>
<li><p>Realize that close to the majority of Americans regard themselves as shy. So, go out of your way to talk to people who seem to be shy, etc. Don't worry about saying exactly the right thing. Shy people usually are glad to be offered a chance to converse. They aren't looking for people who are perfect conversationalists (BTW: Neither is virtually anyone else!).</p></li>
</ol>
<ol>
<li>Be Yourself</li>
<li>Try getting a job in a gym or in a place you have to sell a service</li>
<li>Acting classes or drama clubs </li>
<li>Volunteer work in teaching</li>
</ol>
<p>Stop caring about what other people think; I know that this was a major problem for me when I was younger. Just letting myself talk without thinking about what the other person would think was really helpful for me.</p>
<p>My cousin was really shy. To break out of it, she took the metro (for the first time) going absolutely anywhere (but not somewhere too far) and would walk back home. Trick: she'd have to ask LOTS of people for directions.</p>
<p>My opinion...join clubs that interest you and just take a chance. Once you take that first step and just humiliate yourself, the confidence builds and you slowly break out.</p>
<p>A nice tip is to just bring up random conversations with people. You just have to grow over the fear of approaching someone especially to the opposite sex. Just get a topic to talk about and it will seem easy, for example, a girl has a binder full of pictures, just start a conversation about it considering I am sure one of those pictures is a funny/random one and you could ask why she did that or who is the friend next to her. If you come neutral into talking, no one should reject you to talk unless they are having a HORRIBLE day where everything has gone wrong.</p>
<p>A lot of the information on this thread is good advice, but at the same time, I don't really think you should force yourself to try and fit the mold of somebody you aren't.</p>
<p>I know a lot of people who are shy/reserved/quiet and they've taken advantage of the extracurricular opportunities around them just as well as those who are outgoing and loud.</p>
<p>Just be nice to people. If you're doing an extracurricular activity, demonstrate your interest by regularly going to meetings and showing your passion for the activity. Everything else will fall into place.</p>
<p>In terms of interviewing skills, don't be nervous--chances are that your interview will be a lot more comfortable than you think it will be. Just keep in mind how you want to portray yourself to the interviewer and don't be afraid to think about the questions (it shows you're thoughtful!) they ask. Smile so that your interviewer will smile back at you (which will in turn make you less stressed).</p>
<p>Don't want to be harsh, just honest:
Outgoing and dynamic persons do not ask questions like "how do I become a more outgoing and dynamic person?"
Talk to people. Make your presence known. Be creative. You do not need a public speaking class or even popularity to be an outgoing person. You just do it.
Seriously, the only thing keeping you from being more outgoing is that you're telling yourself you're NOT outgoing.</p>
<p>"In terms of interviewing skills, don't be nervous--chances are that your interview will be a lot more comfortable than you think it will be. Just"</p>
<p>"Don't be nervous" is unrealistic because most people -- even very gregarious ones -- are nervous when interviewing for opportunities that they want.</p>
<p>Being nervous isn't a bad thing. It's expected. Being nervous can be as a result of adrenaline in your system, and that adrenaline can help energize you if you view "nervousness" as a good thing.</p>
<p>I've interviewed many professionals and students, and a person who is nervous can be more impressive in an interview because a nervous person will likely seem interested. A person who's too relaxed can look like they don't care about the opportunity.</p>
<p>When you know you're going to interview for an opp, get as much preparation as you can. Have your friends, mentors or parents take you through practice interviews. Find out as much info as possible about the interviewer, the opportunity and the sponsoring organization. Doing so will give you an idea of what to expect, and will help you have good questions to ask.</p>
<p>BTW, I have been described as "dynamic," "charismatic," a "good public speaker," and a "good leader," but when I was your age, I was very shy and introverted. Through asking the kind of questions you're asking now, and through stretching myself by following much of the advice in this thread, I grew into the person that I am now. </p>
<p>Just because you're currently shy, etc., doesn't mean that you have to stay that way.</p>
<p>Thank you Northstarmom with another helpful post!</p>