<p>My freshman daughter has been dismissed after her 1st semester. She liked the school and people but had a huge adjustment issue, boy issues that caused her alot of emotional pain, which caused a lot of "stuff" from the past to come back and haunt her.Seeng a counselor at school and at home. She has never been a great student, always struggled but pulls through. She is devastated about the dismissal and takes full responsibility for what caused her to be in this place. She has no friends at home, they are all away, and no interest in atending our LCC.
So my suggestion is take a few basic classes, 2 or 3 at the LCC( if its not to late), get a job and try to regroup. She half heartedly agress. Now this is my issue, all she wants to do is work with horses.She is not an equestrian, ( couldnt afford it rasing her and her sisters alone). She can ride somewhat but thats it. We do not live in farm of horse country. My concern is what kind of career can you have with horses, how will you supprt yourself etc. She had gotten into a few schools with equine studies, but had chosen a different route that would hopefully lead her to working with them but with a "real career". Anyway, there is tech school about 90 min away that has a class 2 evenings a week , exploring horse for a career. So my other suggestion, take that class, take 2 gen ed classes, maybe a part time job for this coming semester and see what it all brings.
I know the traditional college route may not be for everyone, but lord this is not what i was expectiong, esp being a sinlge mom, all i ever taiught my kids was to be independent and be able to take care of yourself financially. This horse thing is just so not traditional to me.
What would you do?</p>
<p>Yeah, I would try to balance some basic classes with what she loves to do (the horse thing), that way she can get a taste of both (the basic class route and the horses) and ultimately decide what route she wants to take after. That way she won’t be stuck with one just in case she changes her mind.</p>
<p>Working with horses is hard work and the pay is not high. However, if she is willing to do the physical barn work (cleaning stalls, feeding, etc.) it is relatively easy to find work. Turnover is high, and barns are often looking for extra hands. There are likely riding stables somewhere in your area even if you are very urban, although whe would likely need a car. Also, some barns have living accomodations for barn staff willing to do night checks, although you usually need some equine health knowledge.</p>
<p>Working at a barn would give her some insight into the reality of jobs with horses before she spends a lot of academic time in equine management. It would also give her ideas of possible types of jobs - barn management, vet assistant, farrier, etc. </p>
<p>I also think it is perfectly fine to not go straight to college after high school. Some kids just need a break after high school. If she finds a good job maybe skip the courses until next fall.</p>
<p>Whatever your daughter wants to do, she needs to come up with a plan herself. It is great she wants to work with horses, but how is she going to do that? How is she going to support herself? You may want to sit her down to let her know how much you are willing to support her while she is looking for herself. Let her know if you are going to allow free room and board, pay for few classes, your expectations of her living in your home. You may want to give her a limited amount of time to figure out if this horse thing is going to work out before she needs to move on to do something else. Like you said, she needs to be financially independent, at some point, no matter what she is doing. I think the worst thing would be for her to be just hanging out with no direction, and you just indefinitely allow her to stay at home.</p>
<p>These day many, many 20-something children live at home (while going to college or not). I suggest you articulate your expectations…that she either work (wherever she chooses!), go to CC, or a combination of both. If she goes the work-only route you might require her to contribute to the household expenses by some set monthly amount. If you don’t need it tuck it away in a college savings account, just in case.</p>
<p>My nephew was dismissed frosh year and worked/lived at home for 4 years until he could afford to move out (through savings & pay increases)…working in a couple of places helped him figure out his career goals. He is now working full-time, living independently with a roommate, and in his second year as a part-time CC student. His parents gladly pay the tuition.</p>
<p>I know NOTHING about horses. That said, I had a neighbor whose DD grew up in a city. She went to college and became a nurse. After a few years of working in nursing she met her husband and they both got involved with horses. She stopped working as a nurse and they moved to a rural area. I do not know any specifics, but I know that they made a living by caring for other people’s horses, and by having agreements with some B&Bs and hotels. People on vacation would take lessons and ride their horses. She said the life was a tough one because there were never vacation days together and one of them had to work when the other was ill. She pointed out that since horses need constant care, at a minimum, one of them had to always care for the animals. There were also times that people who left horses with them to care for did not pay for the care in a timely manner. All that said, they seem to make a living and seem happy.</p>
<p>This won’t solve your problem at all, but here’s a thought: have her start looking for a summer job at a sleep away camp with horses. It would probably be a positive experience, living day to day with horsey people, who can give her ideas about what to do with her life.</p>
<p>Going away to college is tough in many ways, some kids really should stay home for the first 2 years. The idea of getting a job and going to LCC is very smart. Taking full responsibility for whatever mess that caused the dismissal means getting a good dose of reality. The life of being at home again, with regular house rules, working a job, and taking a few basic classes sounds very grounding.</p>
<p>The fact is no matter what she will focus on later, she will need those initial 2 years of basics. The basics are boring for most. Kids jump out of high school and expect that they will immediately be able to learn something more interesting than what they have been doing. Those “interesting” classes, such as more focused on horses or whatever, come later.</p>
<p>After proving that she can pass her classes and also understands how hard it is to go to school while working and paying for some things, then it will be time to think about switching to focus on a major. Going to school is a good idea, no matter what she studies. The experience there will help with a job later.</p>
<p>The idea of her going to work at a summer camp with horse is a great one! The fact is that there are tons of jobs with horses available. But, unless she wants to study to be a vet, most of those jobs are going to be heavily based on experience. Generally the people that end up working with horses are those that have grown up with them. They have spent endless hours cleaning stalls, which is no fun, and other menial labor that would scare off anyone with just romantic notions about horses. Also check around where you live. You would might be surprised to find that there are people with horses and that board horses nearby. All you need is a little land to board a horse and there are tons of kids that take riding lessons.</p>
<p>A few classes and a job at home is a good idea as well. And don’t worry that she has no friends at home because they have all gone away to college themselves. the best place to make new friends is at school. She will probably make some friends in her first sememster at the LCC.</p>
<p>many areas also have special programs that provide horse back riding to disabled people/children. They are always looking for volunteers to help with the program. And it may introduce her to some other opportunities as well.</p>
<p>I wonder if there are any statistics on the number of kids that drop, flunk, or get tossed out of colleges their first few semesters. It is good that your daughter is taking some responsibility for what happened because she needs to know what she does will affect her life on down the road. I would not find her another school or allow her to find another school away from home. The consequences for what went on with her dismissal are that she stays home and gets a job. She also needs to know that she is lucky to be able to take a few classes now, i am guessing that you are paying, after costing so much at the other school.</p>
<p>If she focuses on classes at the local community class then she will have success there. She will make more friends and feel better about herself as well. There is nothing wrong with just taking a few classes, going part time, and working. It makes anyone appreciate being able to go to school more. </p>
<p>After taking the basic classes, AA level, she might find something that interests her more than horses as well. Besides talking to a counselor about the emotional issues it would be smart to talk to the adviser that helps graduates and students get jobs. There is usually a small department dedicated to that at a CC. Talking to someone there will give her a dose of reality and help with what she might want to study later.</p>
<p>Does the cc have a vet tech program?</p>
<p>I would encourage her to get a job and take a couple of classes at the LCC, then this summer see if she can go to a camp with horses… It would give her a chance to be hands on and really see if she likes it. Also as mentioned make her do the research and come up with a plan… and as hard as it is give a time limit on how long she can stay at home. Look in to tech schools.</p>
<p>All great avenues. There are paths for these kids for whom college at this point is not an interest. A friend of mine had a D who just wasn’t “into” college. She wasn’t a particularly bright high school student but got admitted to a college and just couldn’t get successful. She came home to “find” something with horses, something she had always been into. Vet tech programs are a possibility. Large animal vets deal with horses. Mucking barns, cleaning stalls, cleaning tack are all “entry level” jobs. Therapeutic riding programs… My friend’s D is now getting close to thirty and has done many of the suggestions above but found herself working for a company that sells horse supplies and has moved up through the years to a regional rep position. Right now your D just needs to find a job and find herself. </p>
<p>I watched a few of my oldest son’s friends during and after high school while my son was in college. They are around 23 now. A few went off to college but left after a semester, a few never went. They did drift around aittle bit but interestingly this year they have all settled. A couple went back to college with great enthusiasm. One worked his way up in a graphics company (this one started college thinking he’d be an art major) and one spend the post high school years working in restaurants and just started culinary school. The others are now working their way up the ladder in jobs they started after high school. Most all kids will find a path. Take heart. I wouldn’t necessarily “push” college…you did that and it didn’t work out, so let her find her path as she may ultimately end up there but ready to put the work that is required in academia.</p>
<p>I would not be optimistic about summer camp horse jobs for someone without experience. They usually have a small staff and jobs go to people with significant amount of knowledge in horse care, barn management, and riding.</p>
<p>My parent breed and train thoroughbreds. To say its a 24/7/365 physically demanding job is to barely scratch the surface. You have to have a real passion for horses. I have seen many a hand come and go through my parents stables because although they love horses, working with them and caring for them goes beyond loving to do it. Like most careers, it’s almost a calling. Interesting to note, only one of my parents 6 kids works with horses. The rest of us still enjoy horses and help out when we are home or are needed, but we didn’t choose to make a living doing it. None of the grandchildren have. Working with animals of any kind is a lot like working with children, you have to have a passion for it.</p>
<p>Does one really need a college degree to ‘work with horses’? I don’t think so.</p>
<p>A suggestion - since from your post she’s not in the right frame of mind right now to attend college, including a CC, maybe she should just focus on getting a job, preferably one that has some level of interest for her. She can then perhaps get a second part time job working at a stable or doing something else related to horses. After doing all of this for a bit she might sort out in her mind what she really wants to do, get re-focused, and maybe even decide to go back to college but this time with a purpose in mind.</p>
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<p>Nope. In fact, I know a lot of people that don’t consider a degree in something like equine studies as useful or advantageous when looking for equine jobs. You get good equine jobs through lots of experience. </p>
<p>She could probably find a job at barn as stable help, mucking stalls and filling water buckets and the like, but I kind of doubt that’s something she wants to do for the rest of her life.</p>
<p>What exactly does she want to do with horses? She could try and combine her interest of horses with a job that a college degree could get - for example, get a degree in some kind of business and try to get a job at an horse-related company.</p>
<p>No clearly my friend’s D who is now a regional rep for a company that sells (stable related) equipment you don’t need a college degree. A vet tech requires some years but I think it’s only 2 in a tech program. Two friends from high school didn’t even go to vet school until they were almost 30 so the OPs D doesn’t need to be in college right now. Clearly she doesn’t want to be there and there are other things that are taking precedence in her head to studying so best to let her follow a passion for awhile it could lead her back to college with renewed interest and focus or she’ll find a different path.</p>
<p>I suggest to research the local community college, and find out the basic enrollment info, e.g. when do spring semester classes start, when do you have to enroll by? Then, you will know how long there is to make a decision.</p>
<p>My D rides horses, and I see what hard work it is for her trainer and the other people who work at the barn. Still, if your D wants to try working with horses, I would advise to let her try to find a job. What part of the country do you live in? Is it cold in the winter. Perhaps after a winter doing tough physical work she may be more motivated to take some community college classes, by summer or fall.</p>