UCs and CSUs generally have good in-state need-based aid, but merit scholarships are rare (and some may be awarded on merit, but the amount may be based partially on need).
At the very least, ask them to run the net price calculators on the UCs and CSUs and tell you if they are willing to contribute (without themselves borrowing) the listed EFCs that result (beyond that, you may have to add work earnings and/or federal direct loans).
If they won’t tell you, build a merit-seeking application list. You can still apply to the UCs and CSUs with relatively little added effort, though, due to shared applications (one for all UCs, one for all CSUs, though a fee for each campus).
It is possible your parents are naive about college costs these days. Other explanations:
they are not comfortable talking about money issues, they do not have college money set aside,
they are not sure how they will pay for your college.
There have been a number of excellent suggestions about how to approach them in
a calm, direct, adult manner to educate them about the current college financial reality.
If this does not result in them being more willing to discuss issues, you can not make plans
based on hypothetical financial support from them.
It is clear then that you may have to be responsible yourself for the financing of your college career, you can look
at college options that are affordable.
Sometimes getting parents to run a NPC is hard because it requires financial estimates to enter.
I would first start off by telling them the general cost of attendance (i.e. cost of tuition, room and board, books, incidentals):
CSU: 20K - 25K per year x 5 years
UC: 30K - 35K per year for 4 years
USC or Stanford: 65K per year for 4 years (with probably no merit awards)
Smaller private colleges like Santa Clara University, Chapman University: 60 K per year for 4 years, but will give a kiddo like you merit scholarships to reduce your Cost of Attendance.
Many private colleges outside of California will give merit aid, but it might be like a savings of $20 K per year off of $60K per year bill to have a net cost of $40K per year. You would have to have high stats compared with the average accepted class.
Good thinking, OP. Yes, try to bring up your SAT CR+M score to at least 1400 if at all possible. If they think that you are going to get a ton of merit aid and are expecting that, then try your best to have several colleges where that happens. Make sure that you are happy with the safeties you pick, that way you won’t resent your parents or anything if circumstances end up with you going to one. I’m sure they want what’s best for you. Good luck!
A high stats applicant is unlikely to need 5 years (of school, not including co-op jobs or other time not taking classes) to graduate. The likely cause of low 4 year graduation rates at CSUs is the high percentage of students who need remedial courses, or who voluntarily take less than full loads for various reasons (e.g. need more time for work or cannot handle a full load).
If you are concerned about class availability at CSUs, consider those with 4 year pledges like Pomona, Fresno, San Bernardino, Bakersfield.
Yes, SAT CR+M >= 1400, or ACT >= 32 opens up a number of large merit scholarship opportunities.
You need to tell your parents that the UCs and CSUs are AWFUL about merit aid. Sure, if your stats are high (higher than what you have now), then a lower UC may offer $5k to entice you away from UCLA or Cal. But to expect a lot of merit from those schools is unrealistic.
The UCs and CSUs are focused on need-based aid.
I have had a number of nieces and nephews go thru (or are currently attending) UCs or Cal Polys. They were all very good students. None of them got any merit to any of their schools.
You really need to help your parents understand that you won’t be getting “lots of merit” to a UC. If they are expecting you to get a lot of merit, then you need to know that now so that you can identify schools (probably outside of Calif) to get that merit.
You are unlikely to get a “ton” merit aid anywhere you may want to go. You may get decent merit money ($12K to $15K seems more common than $30K) at some schools, but top awards are very competitive. You need to find out from your parents if UCs are financially acceptable without merit aid. You may have to really push them on that point and tell them it is stressing you out not to know what to plan for.
re #10The trouble with applying places with HUGE merit is that the parents might force the OP to attend them instead of places they like better. I think it would be much better if they can just manage to have the money talk now. It has to happen sooner or later. I like ClassicRockerDad’s approach. Parents really don’t know how it works any more. They don’t know about supplements and all the “Why___ college?” essays, and that some colleges expect you to demonstrate interest and all the rest.
OP, I was relieved to see your post 18, noting that your education is probably important to your parents, and they are probably willing and able to contribute something. I think your greatest risk is that, without advance financial guidance, you will put the wrong schools on your application list, and miss out on some better opportunities.
Maybe you could simply ask “If we are considered a full-pay family at the UCs, and I chip in $5000 per year in summer earnings, can I go to a UC as a full pay? And do I need to commute, or can I live on campus? Can you run some UC net price calculators in my behalf, to reality-check this?” If they can answer that, you have a general budget, and then you know what the price is to try to beat with your more strategic merit-money targeted efforts.
I’m assuming that you would have told us if your PhD dad were a professor, yes? I’m only asking, on a long shot, to determine whether you might be eligible for Tuition Exchange scholarship funding (which would be the case if your dad taught at a college or university that participated in the Tuition Exchange program).
Otherwise, I agree with those advising you to apply to some schools known for offering good merit aid. That will at least give you some options if it turns out your parents’ unwillingness to discuss finances eventually translates into an inability to pay the cost of college tuition without either merit aid or need based aid.
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10The trouble with applying places with HUGE merit is that the parents might force the OP to attend them instead of places they like better.
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Yes, that is always a risk.
However, since those schools have early merit deadlines, it is too risky not to apply. what is the student supposed to do if he applies elsewhere, and then in the spring the parent says, “hmmm…none of these pkgs are affordable.”
And do your homework; don’t count on a big merit scholarship from all smaller privates. My nephew, with stats on a par with yours (better scores, similar or better grades) got $5K from Santa Clara. It’s not nothing, but $55K/year is still a lot of money.
The trouble with applying places with HUGE merit is that the parents might force the OP to attend them instead of places they like better.>>>>
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Too late, the parents are already forcing that option, whether they realize it or not.
OP cannot make life decisions based on money that may or may not exist. She
must face reality and apply to merit schools before the windows close.
I think your parents are right in a way. They may not want to limit you at this point. There are kids who for some unexplainable reason ‘score’ in the merit aid department. You just never know. That high merit aid kid could be you. Research which schools might give you that great merit and see if you like them.
If you were my child I would say apply wherever you are interested, make sure there is a range and don’t get hung up on any specific schools. Try to think of college partially as a business decision. Once the aid numbers are available, compare your offers and find out what makes the most sense.
As a parent, I was considering ‘for X dollars more, what do we get for our money (happiness, prestige, research opportunities, job placement, etc.)’ If we (both our child and ourselves) felt it was worth the difference, we would find a way to come up with the money. We did not give our children a specific amount that we would spend.
If your parents can give you an answer as to how much you can afford, that is very helpful, but many parents just don’t know or are not ready to face the finical reality. Right now, especially in the junior year, these costs feel to parents like the national debt- just numbers with no sense of reality. Most parents that I know do not have enough saved up or even a feel for how it will be to pay for college, but seem to muddle through it one way or another.
Last I want to mention that there might be a tradeoff. A less expensive undergraduate college might leave some funds available later for grad school. Yet another reason they may refrain from giving you a hard and fast number.
How about not making the conversation about money. Put together a list of schools you are considering, your possible major a pro and con and the annual cost of each option. Include a local CC, a state U or two and a private or two. Tell them you are really excited about the possibility of going to college next year and would like to get their input on what you’ve found. Hand them the list and ask their thoughts. See where the conversation goes. Talk about school size, distance from home, academic reputation etc. Be sure to comment (well into the conversation) that, you are shocked to learn how expensive school X is. (Pick some Ivy league that’s totally out of the question so it remains abstract). Then, if they still haven’t given you a read, ask them how much they expect you to contribute to a mid range answer.
“Most parents that I know do not have enough saved up or even a feel for how it will be to pay for college, but seem to muddle through it one way or another.” @CrazyMomof3: This isn’t the reality for most families. You’re implying that somewhere there is an undefined lifeline that will miraculously appear and hand over a huge amount of money at just the right time. Hope is not a strategy, especially with regard to paying for college.
What I meant by range is to include in-state, clearly affordable schools all the way up to the high end private school with the hopes of merit/need aid. I would certainly persist and ask if the state university is within the budget. If your state school price is questionable, then consider including options such as community college and commuter schools.
Of course knowing what you can afford is the best option, but I am struck by the number of my friends who have saved $0 for college and have absolutely no plan whatsoever. I was once room mother and one family did not contribute to the class fund of $10 per kid, yet took expensive vacations with the family on both Feb. and April breaks. Many people are odd and irrational about how they spend money and don’t even realize it. A parent who thinks that 50k is affordable 18 months before the bill might feel differently when the bill is much closer. And someone who thinks that he can’t afford 25k may work it out between now and then and realize that he really, in fact, can afford more if it means a better school choice for his kid.
For that reason, I would advise a child to see what’s out there and make sure there is a financial as well as academic range and not to rule out anything yet based solely on cost, while including at least one safety that has a price tag that you are certain that you can afford and would be honored to attend. I suspect that is what the OP’s parents are trying to do.
@Knoxpatch A majority of my friend have saved little/nothing and have NO real plan. (I have posed this question to many of them both before and after their kids start college.)
I guess by muddle, they choose some combination of: a less expensive option which is sometimes a private school with good merit/need based aid, stop contributing to their retirement, alter their lifestyle (no vacations, no more dinners out, keep that 5 year old car that you were thinking of trading in, eat rice and beans, pare down Christmas gifts, no new clothes, etc.), draw down their savings, working extra hours, stop sending that extra money to pay off the mortgage/car early, even taking out a personal loan against the house (which I personally think is a bad idea), etc. Somehow they make it work, but it can’t be easy. Some lucky kids have grandparents who step up and help out a bit.
However, this can result in a lot of wasted effort and fees in applying, since the kid could end up applying to many schools that have no chance of being affordable.
If the parents have no plan for monetary contribution for the kid’s college, it is better if the kid knows it before making the application list in order to build an application list that maximizes the chance of getting good choices in April. Also, if cost constraints are laid out before applying, the chance of a big let-down in April is greater (“we’re glad you made the effort to apply and get admitted to Harvard, Yale, Princeton, and Stanford, but we can’t pay even a tenth of what they expect us to pay…”).
The parents aren’t likely considering the time, effort, and cost associated with apps, sending scores, sending CSS Profile.
Every fall we see posts about kids spends hours upon hours writing, rewriting essays. Then, the cost to apply to each school can easily run $100+ each. For some parents, spending $1000 in app fees is not a big deal. For others, it is…especially if some/most of those apps are to schools that won’t likely be affordable.
Maybe the student needs to say something like, “If I get into UCLA (or UMich…whichever one is OOS for this student), and I don’t qualify for any aid, will you pay $55k per year for that school?” That would be about $5k per month for 48 months. (many parents would freak out at that thought…lol)