Some points to help convince your father:
- UCI is overenrolled by almost 700 students this year. Parking will be a nightmare. Traffic onto campus will require extra commuting time.
- Commuting in southern Cal is never a sure 20-30 minute thing. There will be times it will take you more than an hour because of an accident, weather, events in the area. If your home is 20 minutes away under normal conditions, I bet you will be leaving more than an hour before a class to allow for traffic and to find a parking spot and walk to your class. Maybe 1.5 hours early.
- If you live across the street, you won't need a car.
- You could take a late afternoon class or evening class, you could join study groups, you could get a job on campus, all without having to drive home late.
I’d focus on the fact that you loved living in the dorm because it gave you so much access to things going on at school like concerts and sports and student government or whatever was the case for you.
In the end you have to deal with your father. If your FA is enough to survive without his help, you could just move out. Make sure you really can survive without his help, including FAFSA filing for future years. We can’t know if he really will pull support or if your mother would help you file the FAFSA but you have to be prepared for worst case scenario.
If it were me and my 19 year old self, I’d leave because I wouldn’t put up with the control but I don’t really like my father that much and wouldn’t/didn’t care if I wasn’t allowed back, so an easier decision for me.