Maybe you should suggest a clean separation. Don’t share the frig and microwave. Don’t share anything. Just be separated. I mean you did her a favor by bringing them. Let her buy separate appliances.
UPDATE!: so i just got an email from res life about my new roommate (yes toxic roomie moved out!!!) and remembered this thread. also all my home friends are heading back to school/i miss my school friends /i’m bored/when i was frantically googling for roommate advice in the fall i would have liked to see how it turned out for people so I’d like to help others in my (former) situation. Sorry for how long this got but I just started texting my new roommate and I’ve heard great things about her from my friends so I am hopeful and all this garbage I just typed is over!
Basically, after I posted last it got way worse. I pulled up the tape on the floor while my roommate was in class, and I honestly think that pissed her off more than anything. We continued to not talk, except a week after my post I went home for fall break (she stayed at school) and came back to her having bought her own fridge and microwave. She put them under her bed and told me she bought her own because while her parents visited her they took her to the store and she bought too many groceries to fit in the shared fridge without taking up all of my space so she was being considerate of me…okay. I felt like this confirmed she was crazy but okay. Her fridge was as close to my head as possible while still being on her side and extremely loud. I never said anything to her because what would it do but started using a clip on fan on my bed as white noise. It helped a little and honestly at this point I was like no one who can sleep with that fridge plinking directly under their head can complain about my little fan…apparently that wasnt true but i only heard this through others in the hall saying she was complaining about my loud fanS when I only had one…(sidenote: she no longer has friends in the hall…beanbag girl called her passive aggressive and whiny and the one other girl in the hall who liked her kept not inviting her out starting in november and then she had another friend from another hall who also doesnt get invited out and they used to complain about it loudly in the room while i was asleep).
Anyways she never said a word to me about the fan. We continued on not speaking for most of october, which was fine. I spent most of my time away from the room because the weather was nice and it wasnt gross to walk places. On halloween she got drunk and invited people over at 2 am. They walked in on me changing into pajamas and she started freaking out about me exposing myself to her guests. They all laughed and left giggling like crazy…it was so uncomfortable. In November she wouldn’t let me turn the heat on over 65 degrees. I wanted 70 but I would have compromised at 68…finally she relented when her friend (beanbag girl) came over and was like dude its freezing in here. Then she cranked it up to 78 and I started wearing tank tops and stuff around the room because I was hot but i figured better hot than cold. She was mad I wouldnt wear a bra under the tank tops and accused me of being inappropriate by making her uncomfortable with my visible nipples through the shirts (they really werent either…) I was like okay cool and kept wearing tank tops because really? This same girl also told me my low key religious paraphernalia (small image of mary and small crucifix by my bed bc im catholic and ive always had them at home) made her uncomfortable because she isnt religious i was trying to convert her…promise I wasnt I never even spoke to her about it besides saying hey im catholic and i might wake up early for church on sundays sometimes when we met. Anyways.
Also in late november I started staying in the room more at night/in the evening to study because it was too cold to go to the library and I felt like I couldnt let her drive me out like she wanted. Every time I came in she would get up and leave within 5 minutes like clockwork. I always made sure to be done with work by 12:30 am so I didnt keep her up and I started doing more studying on the weekends during the day and during the day during weekdays to clear up time to go out/not stay up too late to disturb her. This was actually really good for my grades bc I pulled a 3.9! We would have an argument like once a week, usually because I would ask her to please lock the door behind her if she left while I was asleep/not have people over after 12 on schoolnights (her midnight bedtime fell out the window in october) and she would just ignore me/say she didnt have to do anything i asked because i wouldnt do what she asked like get a vibrating alarm clock watch(she really hated my alarm…it went off once a morning. one alarm. once! never snooze. one alarm!!) or change in the bathroom. honestly eventually i stopped trying to ask her things and stuck to not talking.
In december the weekend before finals week she asked me to meet with some girls from an across campus dorm to discuss a switch. I refused because I didn’t have time to meet anyone (literally finals week…I only had exam finals the first 2 days so I was leaving in 5 days at that point and I didnt have time to meet anyone) also I didnt want to move across campus bc i clicked so well with my hall (and like lets be real she didnt) and my best college friend (we are planning on getting an apartment with a third girl sophomore year!) lives on the top floor of my building. So I was like I’m sorry but I don’t have time for that right now. Two days later I get an email from res life telling me how to deal with my 2nd semster vacancy. Best day of my life. My roommate apparently told our RA I was too toxic and slutty to live with (according to my friend who lives on the other side of the RA and heard them…my Ra needs to close her door when shes having private conversations honestly as nice as she is its unprofessional). She also told people on the hall I bullied her out. She called maintenance to “fix a shower leak” at 8 am on the day of my last final without telling me and was conveniently gone when the poor maintenance man showed up to fix a faucet that had no problem and woke me up. still did well though, so joke’s on ex roommate.
When I go back to school, all her stuff will be gone and new roommate will move in. I am very excited and I appreciate the advice I got especially to ignore her and keep living my life, as well as people saying she would reveal her true colors to others because she definitely did. I know I described our conflicts in depth here but most of my semester didnt have any relation to her…I made friends, studied, did cool club stuff, and had a great time in spite of her toxic cloud. And now I feel like second semester will be even better! So for everyone whose roommate sucks…your life will get better, and maybe sooner than you think!
Happy for you! One of the best days of my life was when a toxic apartment mate announced she was moving out.
I think my very literal “happy dance” annoyed her at the time. Boy, did it feel good! Free!
Onward and up!
PS–Tell your RA to close the door. Or maybe she thought it better to keep it open to protect herself.