How to deal with large dinners and recruiting

Career Opportunities & Internships
1

<p>I had a pre-interview dinner a while back, that consisted of a partner, a senior manager, two recruiters as well as the five of us who were being considered for a position. </p>

<p>I am not a shy person by any means. I met my previous GF by seeing her in the mall and walking up to her and hitting on her. I'm perfectly capable of making conversation 1-1 or 2-1. However, get me in a group of 4 people and for some reason, I start talking a lot less. Make it 5 people counting me and I just about stop talking at all. I honestly can't figure out why. I have no issue speaking up in class. I was in my highschool debate team and have delivered several public speeches. I don't get nervous or uneasy speaking in front of many people.</p>

<p>I realized I wasn't talking enough during the dinner, but I just don't seem to.. I don't know. I just don't know why but I seem to listen so much that I don't think to talk or something? It's probably obvious, but I didn't make it to the next round after dinner. I had made no impression whatsoever. It wasn't because I was shy, or nervous. I always do this in large groups. Including family or friends.</p>

<p>What do you suppose causes it and how do I fix it? I have another such dinner that will be happening here in about a week. Without change, it will probably end in a very similar manner. I know there may be no quick fix, but I would like to address this at some point. I mean is this something that can be categorized and maybe has.. something like a toastmasters program to address it or something?</p>

2

<p>I have this issue in groups sometimes, particularly when the other people all have some sort of chemistry with eachother and I’m not a part of it. Unlike a 1-1 or 1-2 conversation, you kinda feel you’ve interrupted the rest of the group when you speak, so your thoughts have to be more novel and important. For me, I sometimes dismiss my more frivolous thoughts, whereas they would come right out in a 1-1 or 1-2 situation.</p>

<p>I find it’s easier to target/respond to one person at a time rather than addressing the entire group. Dunno if that’ll work for you.</p>

3

<p>Those situations are tricky. You feel pressure to speak as much as your peers, but the reality is that talking does not mean making a good impression. If I were to take out a group of four applicants and heard three people for 90% of the night, but the 10% of the night where the fourth person spoke made me stop and listen, I would think much more highly of the fourth person.</p>

<p>In the informal dinner situations, you have to try to forget that it is any kind of interview type thing. Feel free to engage your peers in addition to the people who are already employed. Let your personality show, and if that means listening most of the time and only speaking when you have something interesting to say, then that is perfectly fine. As Abraham Lincoln said, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”</p>