I really need advice. I’m currently valadictorian with a 4.2, but come graduation I won’t be. I’ve done all I can with my own classes and grades but the two saludictorians will definitly pass me because they took a lot of TA periods and only have like four classes each… Add AP to that and it’s a major GPA boost. I just want advice on how to deal with this loss because I kinda feel really really sad about this…
And with all due respect I don’t really want any “It hasn’t happened yet” comments. They have three classes, all are ap, it will. I think I’m asking for a little pity and some advice on letting go. Thank you
Allow yourself to fee sad about it for a bit. Feelings are temporary and the sad feelings will pass. You are disappointed that you lost this status that is apparently important to you. That’s okay. You are still in the top grouping and the difference among you is probably minuscule in terms of the number. Be proud of what you have accomplished. Also celebrate the success of your colleagues. It is what it is, you will learn to accept it.
@NorthernMom61 gave you really good advice. GPA gaming sucks and it hurts to loose even when it’s a fair loss. It’s okay to be upset but as we know that it’s useless, you can’t indulge in self pity for long. Being valedictorian is neat but it isn’t worth making your senior year miserable.
Now that you know it’s done, relax and enjoy rest of the high school and look forward to a new phase of life. Let them walk the stage and enjoy their 15 minutes of fame.
Everyone knows it’s just a matter of teeny tiny points and hand picking of courses is what determines Val/Sal. There is little to no difference betwen top bunch, all are going to find some good opportunities and miss others. That’s how life works.
Looks like your dream is Harvard…according to their common data set, they don’t base admissions on class rank. If Harvard doesn’t care, why should you?
I’m just curious, why does it matter to you so much?
@Greenteen17 Actually my name is Lindsay and I live on street called Harvard Drive :)) I applied there but its not my big dream.
To answer your question It’s just that I’ve wanted to be valadictorian ever since I was little to show my parents that Im thankful for their sacrifices in immigrating to this country. Ive worked really hard to get to this ranking uo from freshmen year and I’ve had it for three semesters. It feels like im failing them, because they really wanted me to be first
OMG that is so funny. I assumed that your dream is Harvard, because, you know, this is CC lol…
I applied there too, but same situation as you - not my favorite school I applied to.
That’s the most heartwarming reason I’ve heard for why someone wants to be valedictorian I hope this isn’t too much of a platitude, but honestly, you can only do what you can do. You did your best and the rest is out of your control.
Does it make such a big difference to them if you’re first as opposed to one of the top?
Fight the school! I’m not even kidding. My school had a very messed up ranking system in which students that took common core math had a higher ranking and gpa than those in normal classes. Some other kinds and I were upset about this because we had skipped a year of math and were doing harder level math and getting less credit for it. By complaining they finally agreed to keep their gpas higher but not let it affect the ranking. You deserve this and if you are taking classes just as hard/harder that is not fair! Bring it up to your counselor, vice principal, or principal and bother them until they change it :-). I’m rooting for you!
I agree with everyone above. Your parents ARE proud of you. You have achieved great things to get to where you are now. A few points on a scale won’t make a difference in what you have done, the hurdles you have overcome, and how hard you have worked, all while challenging yourself at the highest level
I feel like you have to make a conscious decision not to care at this point. I had something similar happen, at my school you need a 4.0 UW to tie for val (messed up system but they’re working on fixing it for later classes). Anyway, I got a 3.9 in dual enrollment chem and was like, “well ok, I tried my best… hey, I don’t have to speak at graduation!!” The 3.9 ended up converting to an A in my high school GPA (idek), and so I still have a 4.0 HS GPA, but the moral of the story, is find a downside to being val, and play that up in your head so you really are indifferent.
Go out and do something better with your life that being valedictorian of a high school. Way better to do that than to have “peaking in high school.” The amazing people I know have terrific stories of setbacks and failures. And you know what else…go ahead and relax and have fun between now and graduation! Now that you don’t have to worry about keeping that #1 status you have the time!
When I see kids weeping on the Olympic podium, because they got a silver or bronze instead of gold, it baffles me. All that matters is the one top position? That’s thin thinking. Val isn’t even a world class award, it’s k-12. You made it this far. Now look forward to the next challenges.
Just saying it’s been a “want” since you were little, shows an issue with perspective. Or that that’s how you see thanking your parents. Life (real life,) is bigger than that, has more opportunities to make a difference. Think about it.
@lookingforward I don’t care about the class of the award. I’ve won more prestigious recognitions and I’ve lost less prestigious ones. I think that for me and maybe those kids you talk about (not that it’s super comparable lol) It’s about setting a goal, working for it as much as you can, having it within grasp and then failing to meet it. Yes it may be meaningless in the grandscheme of things (Silver vs Bronze a fraction of a gpa point) but it’s still stings, even if only momentarily.
I appreciate your (and everyone elses) advice to look beyond things and will definitly try to do that.
Also by talking with my parents about it (It was really my dad who was a bit dissapointed) we discovered a second complex I must have developed at some point. I applied to a lot of competitive schools and a part of me worries that if I couldn’t even do well at my super small rural public school then I don’t have a hope at any other college or university.
That coupled with feeling that I couldn’t make my parents as proud as I wanted to (They announce the names of the Val’s parents at graduation and they stand up and get an applause) is really what made this whole thing blow up in my head.
“…part of me worries that if I couldn’t even do well at my super small rural public school then I don’t have a hope at any other college or university.”
You didn’t do well?
All this is just the wrong kind of pressure. And as you realize, it’s coming from you.
Hey, it happened to me way back in the dark ages and I can definitely say, it doesn’t matter after high school, starting Day One of College. When you go to your high school reunions, your friends will still be your friends and you will have so much more to talk about.
Look forward. You have a great future ahead of you. People on a mission know that looking back all the time will cause you to trip and fall.
