<p>I will be a transferring junior this fall from a California Community College. My issue and I'm sure alot of you have had, is parents who insist you go to school close to home.</p>
<p>For financial purposes I've decided to attend a California State University since my educational will be fundent on financial aid having a $0 EFC. My family lives in San Jose so my mother insists I attend San Jose State University. The school I have my eyes on is California State Univeristy, Chico.</p>
<p>I already made an agreement with my mother when I was looking for a school to attend as a first-year freshman. I was admitted to both San Jose and Chico. My mother propositioned me to either attend San Jose State or a local community college then transfer as a junior to the school of my choice and I accepted. I have no regrets in doing this. </p>
<p>Attending a community college allowed me to have a smooth transition into college life instead of a sudden, shocking, change. Now that I am set to graduate with my Associates this Spring and begin the 4-year school in the Fall, I again have my heart set on Chico. My mother is still insisting that I attend San Jose or at least somewhere close like Monterey Bay or San Franciso State. She even says she'll have no problem with me living on campus because I'm close to home "just in case".</p>
<p>The dilemna is twofold. One side of me has a goal that I don't want to stray from yet the other side would hate to break my mother's heart.</p>
<p>Have you had any problems that would cause your mother to worry, for example drug issues, an eating disorder, depression, etc? If so, I would discuss your current health and ability to deal with things. If not, I’d get out of Dodge.</p>
<p>Live at home and go to San Jose State. It’s just 2 more years and you’ll save your family money. Then get a job/grad school ANYWHERE you wish without any guilt or regret. You won’t have to be manipulated by mother any further since you did as she wished for college.</p>
<p>Go where you would like, it seems like Chico. I agree with an above post, your going to move sometime… why not now. I also don’t see how a cc will smooth transition into a 4 year school as a cc is basically attending high school as a commutter. So technically it will be the same as leaving high school and attending Chico.</p>
<p>i suspect these will be my parents too. the whole letting go thing will be an issue with them i bet.</p>
<p>i think you should attend the place you want to go. both you and your mother will adjust to the change and she probably won’t be heartbroken or if she is, not for long. you won’t be with her forever.</p>
<p>i was in a pretty similar situation.
I was admitted to Humboldt, Chico, Sac State and San Diego, and turned them all down to go to a local community college because of cost and bad family issues that I didn’t want to leave my mom behind to deal with on her own. </p>
<p>I finished my Associates, and actually changed my plan to UCSC, but because of costs issues, I settled on San Jose State. </p>
<p>When you have a particularly clingly parent, I know it’s hard. My mom was so NOT supportive of me going away to college. It wasn’t that she wasn’t proud I was moving on in life, but we are like best of friends and have been through so much together that I think the idea of me living far away was pretty crushing. You just gotta do what you need to do. It may feel selfish, but if your parents know what’s good for you, they will completely understand. It won’t break her heart, and if you refuse to take opportunities that you feel are best for you, it’ll only break your heart and that you WILL regret.</p>
<p>2 years later and I’ve made this place my home and I’m currently finishing up my bachelors… and I miss the hell out of my family everyday. But I don’t regret for a second my move to san jose.</p>
<p>Okay so to clear things up, a CC is NOT anything like high school it is a college, just only has lower division work. There are more adult students there that attend in the evenings than at a 4-year university. And no I don’t use drugs or have an eating disorder, etc.</p>
<p>Also whether I stay home or go away will not affect my parent’s finances because they don’t contribute a dime to my education.</p>
<p>I had other options like UCs and privates but just like our friend Woofles, I narrowed my options down to CSUs for due to cost.</p>
<p>My mother propositioned me to either attend San Jose State or a local community college then transfer as a junior to the school of my choice and I accepted.</p>
<p>I think it would be a good idea to have a calm discussion with your mom. Explain that you want to go to school away from home because you love the school, not because you’re dead-set on leaving home behind (which was what my mom thought at first when I started talking about leaving the Midwest for school). Also make sure she knows how much you will miss your family, and tell her that you want to schedule time to keep in touch (like calling home X times a week). </p>
<p>It’s been my experience that many parents hear “I want to leave you” when you say “I want to leave home for school”. Give her a little time, if you can. I’m sure she only wants the best for you.</p>