We’ve told our kids what our EFC is and that we have enough to cover that for them but won’t pay for pricey extras like overseas travel or greek membership. They both have worked and saved since they were 15 and will be able to pay for their own extra living expenses. S16 did a good job of applying to schools with generous merit aid and the high tier 100% need met so he really only has 1 school where he hasn’t gotten merit aid (oddly enough it’s his safety, I think they don’t believe he would attend) leaving the OOS school a few thousand outside our range. D17 is seeing now the coolness of getting a top tier school at an affordable cost so she is putting a few more of those on her list but her current favorite is a total no go. It’s about $15K over our EFC and provides almost no merit aid. Not even worth applying. She will have moments though where she wants to go somewhere that would be free on merit and save her college money for med school. My son is still pondering but will probably turn down a full scholarship to an excellent OOS to go to a school where he got a nice need and merit pkg. I’m glad he has the strength to pick what is probably the best choice for him but wow he would have a lot of money to start out with in life (buy a house, invest in a business, or start a business from his college account but I don’t think he really gets what that much money is. He’s not into money though. Saves plenty and rarely spends.