How to deal with this?

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>I know I post a lot.</p>

<p>I'm just trying to keep the party going. I'm also just trying to avoid doing my homework. But anyways...</p>

<p>This going to be LONG. </p>

<p>There is this girl at my school, she is a senior, just like yours truly. She is promiscuous in the sense that she has been very sexually active for quite some time, she's also been in what I believe to be 25 or so different short lived relationships. Her reputation as such has kind of made her the target of relentless bullying, not only from kids at our school but from kids at surrounding schools as well.</p>

<p>People call her horrible names both online and offline but especially online. Sometimes they directly "tweet" her or sometimes they'll just tweet her full name followed by the worst insult they can think of. </p>

<p>I never hold someone's sexual history against them as I don't think it really speaks to who they are as a person. If what they're doing isn't hurting me or anyone else, then I have no reason to resent it. Maybe the radical feminists have poisoned my mind or maybe I'm just a decent human being, who knows. </p>

<p>She is the captain of the cheerleading team but eats lunch alone and has no one to talk to her in any of her classes. I TA during her APES class and she never has anyone to work with when people are choosing partners or groups. Because she has no friends whom she can divulge her problems to, she resorts to using her twitter where she basically vents all of her family problems and emotional problems. Understandably so, such harassment which has been going on for three years now will most definitely take a toll on one's psychological state. </p>

<p>When I read the things people say about her, I react emotionally and physically, like I actually feel like throwing up when I read how disgustingly awful some people can be. Especially when you consider the fact that these people were not affected by her directly or indirectly. Girls and guys alike just are really fond of firing shots at her, unprovoked. </p>

<p>Again, I don't know her personally, so I don't know what her personality is like, but I imagine its that of your typical overprivileged white girl. What I do know is that she is intelligent and hardworking. Last year, she had doubled up in AP Biology and Honors Physics, and a boy whom I had been really close with at the time (who was never malicious, ever) suggested that her good grades in Physics came from sexual favors she performed either on the teacher himself or male students who were strong in Physics and would tutor her as payment... </p>

<p>I want to do something about all of this. In fact, I feel like I'm obligated to do something. People are treating her like human garbage and I don't want it happening for a variety of reasons - one, I don't want to be going to a school where the environment condones and embraces such disrespect and malice, and two, I don't want her to do something drastic because of the constant torture she must be going through. I can't befriend her as I have no classes with her and I can't just waltz up to her while she's in Enviro and strike up a conversation... we both have work to do. From what she has written online, her home life isn't the best and she has stated multiple times that violence is common place, especially between her and her mother where they get into pretty brutal physical altercations... </p>

<p>But then again, who am I to put a stop to this? Its none of my business...</p>

<p>Thoughts?</p>

2

<p>

Just saying, do you actually know this to be true, or is this the result of what people say about her and whatnot. Sorta which came first, the chicken or the egg? (Or in this case, did she actually have a lot of sex so got bullied, or got bullied and this is one of the things said about her?)</p>

<p>Anyhow, I would suggest that even just smiling and saying, “Hi soansso!” when you see her in APES would be good since you can’t actually work with her as partners or really talk to her since you don’t have a class with her. Do you have lunch with her?</p>

3

<p>You really can’t do anything. I bet her life will take a turn for the better in college, assuming she is able to go (and live there). </p>

<p>Often when a person is very sexually active at a young age, it is because they have been abused. Very, very sad and tragic. This girl seems like a strong person to have come this far, basically on her own. </p>

<p>If you are ever actually present when someone bullies her, stand up for her. And if you ever happen to be in a club or class with her, try to get to know her a little. High school age kids can be so judgmental due to their own insecurities, it can really be awful. But most people have a very different experience in college, I think. Here’s hoping.</p>

4

<p>Just a simple “hi” or even a smile can go a long way. From your description, seems like she’s held her own against all the abuse sent her way for a long, long time. You never know when she’ll reach the breaking point. Just taking a little time out of your day to wave might even save her life, or at the very least, make her day.</p>

5

<p>@CE527M - She doesn’t really disguise her sexual past - its something that she has referenced before both online and offline - explicitly. Along the lines of her tweeting things like “Just because I slept with XYZ person doesn’t mean I still have feelings, he’s just a side piece.” or whatever.</p>

6

<p>say hi and smile :)</p>

7

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</p>

<p>And that’s your problem right there.</p>

8

<p>I think you should. I used to get SO fed up with people bullying others. I’d literally feel like bursting and cursing the hell out of a person for being a jackass. Usually when I yell at someone, I start to cry, but that’s because I know whats right from wrong, and that has a big impact on me. I would definitely do something. Set them straight by talking to them, no physical contact. Also, try to emphasize that problem in some form. If you have announcements in your school, try to use that. State problems you have and raise awareness. This might just work. The key is to be persuasive.</p>

9

<p>@Repede - I’m sure if she offered to help me with my history homework, I’m not gonna be like “well, you slept with three guys in one week, so I doubt you know much about the Mongol Empire.”</p>

10

<p>Sure, but the decisions someone makes definitely speaks to their character.</p>

11

<p>omg, DONT JUDGE. you don’t know her story. and without knowing someones story how can you know what their decisions say about their character. maybe i can SUSPECT that because you have DECIDED to judge her that that reflects something NOT GOOD about your character but i couldn’t be so sure of that unless i knew your story. for example, assume your mom was promiscuous and that had impacted your childhood growing up and there’d been chaos and drama and stability had been the exception. then you might be more unforgiving of promiscuity, but knowing your story everyone could understand that. now assume you were indoctrinated about the awfulness that is promiscuity from an impressionable, young age. knowing that would clarify your actions as well. we wouldn’t have to proceed to character analysis. we would see your actions were a product of your circumstances and your character would be spared from examination.</p>

12

<p>No where did I judge her. I’m just saying that the decisions one makes is reflective of their character. You’re putting words in my mouth.</p>

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<p>Blindly following supposed dogma is also reflective of one’s character.</p>

13

<p>You really should do something about it. You could report it to your school administration completely anonymously and even if you are afraid to do this in person you can always send them a letter or emails describing the situation, the people who are doing the bullying, and even the URL to the cyber bullying. How would you feel if she committed suicide? Be a decent person and say hi to her and smile or slip an anonymous letter in her locker saying whatever you think is appropriate to make her feel better.</p>

14

<p>Can you smile at her in the halls?
Wave at her?
Partner her in your class?</p>

<p>Ask if she wants to hang out after school?</p>

15

<p>Aristotle often posed the same questions in Nichomachean Ethics. Greek philosophy is not bad on occasion.</p>