<p>PG maks a good point about sometimes interacting with others “for them.” Not necessarily being dragged into a long, boring interaction in which you lose sight of yourself. But, people like to be ackowledged. Kept simple, it’s not fakery. We’re taking, in some cases, a minute- maybe less. At a minimum, you try to set a pleasant rep through a smile or a greeting (or PG’s other examples) and that’s often good enough. When someone less interesting does “buttonhole” you, you have at hand a few graceful ways to exit. When you have to go to that department dinner or some other function, you try to politely grin and bear it and offer some tolerable conversation. (Because, in plenty of situations, the end justifies the means.) And, you find the right private places for any anger.</p>
<p>I’ve worked with some brilliant engineers, even some extremely ornery outliers. What surprised me is how, as I got to know them, the orneriness seemed to be a mask- just the way they acted in the situations most related to their work. Behind that, they had surprisingly rich and satisfying lives. And, great senses of humor. So, OP, try to see if some of those you do admire are also “more than meets the eye” and give you a sense of the balance you might someday find. Might be interesting.</p>
<p>ps. all this talk about Aspergers and schizophrenia and who knows what is spinning my head. We should be cautious about labels.</p>