Trying to think college chances while deciding on high school for our oldest one. She will choose between two good (not top) private schools (one in NYC, one in NJ) and a selective public in NJ (also not the best, but pretty good). Privates offered financial aid (enough to make them managable). Extracurriculars are comparable and she liked all three schools. We’re leaning toward the public but she thinks the city school will “look better” while applying to college. College guidance seems to be so-so at the public school. We looked at matriculation and average SAT scores in all three schools, what else can we look at to compare?
Look at where other kids from these schools went to college. Look at the ECs offered and the cost. Look at the commuting time to each, because that will really eat into study time.
Could you afford private college counselors if she picks the public school? Might be cheaper overall than paying for a private for 4 years.
Do not pick a high school based on college matriculation lists. It’s impossible to sort out what’s behind those – recruited athletes, legacies, URMs. You seem to be thinking about this right.
DO assess the curriculum aND whether it offers what interests her now and what may interest her 4 years from now. DO make sure she can continue with ECS and sports she likes - either at school or outside it (ie, look at school requirements, time, commutes). DO make sure that the learning environment and social vibe are right. Will she feel confident? Have friends?
Your kid will have the best chance of getting into the “best” college if she can become the best version of herself, knows who she is, and has a vision of who she wants to be in the world. Depending on the kid, one school may offer this. Or all 3.
If you are leaning toward the public bUT worry about the college counseling, @twoinanddone has great advice. Hire a good private counselor toward the end of ninth grade with the tuition money you saved.
If she can spend a day at each school, maybe she will have a sense as to whether one feels like the glass slipper.
Select the school where she can earn the highest GPA while taking honors/AP classes.
Personally if the local public is pretty strong, as you seem to indicate, I would have trouble justifying private. That was the situation with our kids (not that we considered private). There were plenty of APs, a good cohort of academically strong kids to be in classes with, and that’s what our taxes are paying for after all (New York state). Sure, college counseling was pretty much non-existent, but we handled that just fine on our own.
I would choose a school based on other factors besides college admissions- like the experience each offers for those 4 years. And not just academically.
I think it helps a lot to choose a school that does not overwhelm with homework, but allows enough time for kids to get to know themselves and pursue true interests. That may sound counterintuitive but it worked for us.
Our guidance counselor was clueless. Applying to college isn’t rocket science. You can do it yourself, and this forum is helpful.
At our high ranking public high school it is very difficult to get into honors and AP classes. This is why I suggest making sure you go to a school where she will be admitted into those classes.
D21 goes to a public out of district. It can be a struggle with her activities and social life. In hindsight, for her, it was the right decision to leave our district, but we’re 30-45 minutes away depending on traffics. And we both work. She has passed on some opportunities because they meet at 6pm…she would have to hang out after school ends at 2:30, or drive her home then back again. Also makes it a bit harder for Saturday trips to the mall. If you have a decent public (many in NJ are) and she likes it, it will make the next 4 years infinitely easier.
Anecdotally…D21’s school is much more competitive and highly ranked, and has great college placement- but a lot of those kids are legacies and able to pay full price. The top kids at our local school go to great schools as well. I would tend to save the money and put it towards college. I think having more money to spend on college opens more options than the high school will.
Thank you all very much for the input. It seems to us the best option to save on tuition for high school, especially since the privates are not clearly ‘better’ than the public option. This was my first post on the forum, I think I’ll be spending a lot of time here in the next 4 years!
My DD also went to HS 40 minutes from home. Definitely do not underestimate the impact on travel time to your family. It’s not just school and ECs, but also socializing with friends. In bad weather, even harder.
If your public option has strong rigor and an unrestrictive policy of qualifying for honors and AP courses, I would strongly consider that option.
The door-to-door commuting time to the NYC school needs to be taken into account. Will she be taking Nj Transit into the city? You need to add in extra time for unexpected delays (which seem to be happening more often now).
You’ve got lots of good advice here, so I don’t have much else to add
Our kids went to HS five minutes from home…and there was still a lot of driving time back and forth. There were times I was at that school six or seven times in one day…after school between jazz band rehearsal, swim team practice, the school play rehearsals, and the like. Kids couldn’t drive, and there is no public transport here…so they needed to be shuttled back and forth…and with two kids, it was like running a taxi service sometimes.
And this didn’t include their music lessons and pre-college ensembles which were 30 miles away.
I miss our kids…but I do NOT miss the “stuff” which includes the driving around!
@ashtanga - I agree with so many above; your kid can do well where your child is comfortable and has a few social outlets. – but what i really want to say, is welcome to this forum. It’s awesome - no debating, no politics, and very very wise people who will give serious advice about almost anything! Stick around for a few years; there are some really amazing stories, and very helpful, thoughtful people here.
All great points re travel time. But she has experience in transportation into the city- been commuting there after school for a competitive EC for a few years. She knows her way around public transportation, and city school is easily accessible from NJ. So not too big of a worry there. It’s a good point about friends/hang out after schools etc, though.
Need to find out more about the public school- on paper it looks good but I didn’t realize getting into honors/AP would potentially be a challenge.
Thanks for the welcome bgbg4us- my thoughts exactly. It’s places like these that make you believe in the kindness of strangers. Amazing.
You want to find out if activities are in the evenings. My kids had activities in HS where they had to be there until 9 at night…sometimes later. If we had added any “commuting time” to that, it would not have been impossible, but it would have been harder. And some of these things were cyclically daily things…like school play rehearsals the two weeks before a show…or swim meets during the tournament seasons.
I would choose the school where your child has the happiest, calmest feel–and calm is the key. HS can be stressful. Note on this forum how many kids write in about anxiety / depression. As a parent I sought out schools with low anxiety, high “fun” or “coolness” factors – something that stood out for them and made them feel proud. Each child is different.
Truly, the vast majority of colleges are available from the vast majority of high schools. One of my children attended a school with only one AP test and students from that school were still accepted into T25 colleges. It’s what a child does with the resources offered that determines much of college acceptances.
Sort of aligned to @Dustyfeathers , pick the place where your child will be the most engaged with her classmates. Where will she be comfortable being in the choir or school play or joining an athletic team? Where will she be challenged and engaged the most academically?
Prior college acceptances can be misleading and are very much individually based, so I would focus on where you and her feel the most at home. Maybe class size has something to do with that, but again…not always.
Last thought…look at the older kids. If the seniors are the kind of kids you would want your child to be around / like in 4 years, maybe that’s the right place. Good luck.
If you need financial aid to make it work and all other things being equal, I’d pick the public and save that money for college budget. I think kids can bloom where they’re landed. If you’re aware of lack of guidance in a guidance counselor’s office that can be mitigated with planning and involved parenting. I also think finding broader community activities and not just what’s available under one roof at a school can be impressive in college apps too. Find something for her to do in the city in her interest/extracurricular area once or twice a week if the city is a draw.
The commute mentioned alone would make this a no brainer for our family.
My kids went to what looked on paper to be a very middling public school. Average SAT scores around 500. But it was a huge school and there was a large cohort of very capable kids. They had a very lively music scene with multiple bands, orchestras and choruses. They offered a special arts program where students could choose a focus and take extra arts during zero period. The Science Olympiad team during the years my kids were there was good enough to get to the state level every year despite operating on a shoe string. (They were very proud of beating out the Stuyvesant team one year!) They had a number of championship sports teams. The academic team went to Nationals the year my oldest was a senior. They offered 22+ APs, but there was not a huge pressure to take too many. At least when my kids attended 7-8 was considered a lot. My kids ended up well prepared for college, but experienced none of the anxiety and pressure others on this board talk about. In addition, they had friends from all races, religions and economic classes - especially the kid involved in music. The top kids at the school got into selective colleges every year. Some were legacies, but many were not. Some got in with sports scholarships, but many did not. The college counseling was surprisingly good - they made good use of programs like Naviance to keep on top of things and to make at least reasonable suggestions about what sort of colleges to look at. They put on a fabulous college night that if you were a smart parent you attended starting your child’s freshman year. The panels were very informative.
We have no regrets about choosing the public option and we saved a boatload of money which allowed us to afford private colleges with no loans.