I am currently a sophomore entering my second semester of my sophomore year…And I just can’t seem to like any of it. I don’t know what it is, I just have no interest in anything and it’s depressing. I don’t have any hobbies and for whatever reason, I am completely apathetic to everything and I’ve so far hated every semester being here. It’s not the College I think it’s all me. Because I am a sophomore I had to declare a major, still was clueless, so I picked one that would yield best job prospects…But what am I supposed to do, I mean, I have no interest in anything so I might as well just pick the one with good prospects. I see my family members and friends enjoying life and die-hard loving their majors, and I just wish I was as happy as they were. I don’t want anyone to feel bad for me, but I just want to know like - what the heck do I do? I feel completely clueless still as a sophomore and man, I feel helpless and hopeless. I am doing good in school (4.0 GPA) but I feel like all I am doing is wasting time. I never had an “ah-ha” moment where I was like, that’s the career I want. Ever since College began last year I’ve been miserable. As stupid as this sounds, I miss High School. I miss all of my friends. In College I don’t have any friends, not excited about my career path at all, it’s just been hard. I guess I just haven’t figured out who I am yet.
Not stupid – normal. If you’re unhappy now, of course you miss when things were easier.
Have you gotten help for the depression?
There are some things you can do. You can go to your campus counseling center and do some exploration about what you want for your future with a therapist. In that process you can also have them evaluate you for possible depression. Secondly, you can go to your campus career center and participate in some career exploration activities to see if you can get a focus on career avenues.
You are doing the most important thing, that is keeping up your grades and performing academically, despite you current distress. This alone will keep doors more open to you as you try to figure it out. But, you have to open yourself up and start to explore what’s out there to figure out what is your path.
Don’t worry, you need not have it all figured out as a 19 or 20 year old.
I’m pretty impressed by the fact that you’re outperforming everyone despite your emotional distress. However, I think it’s important, like other people have said, that you seek help for depression. It will help you so, so much, and most schools offer free counseling services you can go to. It’s all confidential, so there’s nothing to worry about there. They’ll know how to help you not only explore your current emotional situation, but also help you navigate your distress regarding your career situation. Also: maybe you can join some clubs that will provide some hands-on experience and you can work backwards (figure out what you don’t like)?
Don’t sweat the small stuff and keep the big picture in mind. It’ll be over before you know it.