How to find colleges without partying atmosphere and with predominantly serious students?

<p>No, I don’t think it has anything to do with liberal or conservative. I have friends, acquaintances and family members of all stripes. I think people who are passionate about helping others, whether it is because they are extremely religious and feel that they are giving to God, or feel deeply about sacrificing to give to others regardless of their own personal needs, are very generous and I admire them quite a bit.</p>

<p>However, there can be serious mental issues in some cases. There are some who can do all they possibly can, yet feel depressed and guilty about being as fortunate as they have been. They will never be happy, as long as someone or something is suffering in the world. And that will never be healthy. It is one thing to be benevolent and caring about others, another to never feel that you can be happy or satisfied, and constantly feel undeserving. Don’t you think there is a difference? </p>

<p>But why are we digressing into this extreme territory? Sure, people who become impassioned about things can take it too far and become unable to function because of their despair over not being able to fix all the problems in the world. People also become depressed because they think they deserve more than they have and take it out on themselves or others (i.e., the Isla Vista killer).</p>

<p>On another note, I have to laugh at the concerns over the “culture shock” in the midwest. Has anyone who is worried about that been to the area around Williams in western Mass? Some of the towns around there are really beat and there are some pretty creepy-looking characters there. My son and I drove up to Pittsfield and couldn’t believe how sad a place it seemed to be.</p>

<p>Nope. I think some people like to have excuses for NOT feeling passionately about the welfare of others, and thinking that it might be a sign of mental illness to be TOO compassionate is an easy way to block those feelings in oneself. Of course people CAN be mentally ill, but I don’t think that a deep concern for social justice and animal rights is a sign of it. Good for OP’s kid, he has found something he cares deeply about and wants to change in the world. </p>

<p>“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead. May the OP’s son change the world for the better.</p>

<p>@BTMell‌ Do you have any other information about Kenyon. I know it’s just one student but anything would help. D D is drawn to Kenyon as an avid reader/writer but is conservative on all issues. Any insight is appreciated.</p>

<p>isaelijohjac, I think Kenyon is worth exploring for your D (in contrast to Oberlin). It’s got plenty of more conservative or mainstream kids relative to some other LACs.</p>

<p>I can’t go as far as busdriver11, but I saw some things that would concern me as a parent. The OP said:
" … and he loves to play golf (although he’s cut down on that this summer because he feels guilty playing an expensive sport when people are starving in Africa). "</p>

<p>If I had a kid who earned his own money, played golf a few times a week and decided to give up playing once a week to instead send the money to an organization like Africares - well, I think that is healthy passion. It would be an action showing passion, concern, sacrifice and most of all hope and belief that people can make the world better and that things aren’t hopeless. Not playing golf out of guilt that it’s too expensive when people are starving in Africa doesn’t do anything to help the starving. It’s like our parents telling us to clean our plates because kids were starving in Biafra. I am not suggesting the OP’s son is depressed, but being highly concerned and worried without finding a way to help improve or change the things you are concerned about could be depressing. He has two more years before he is out of high school and off to college. I’d try to find organizations and people he could join right now so he can feel he’s making a difference in the areas he is most passionate about. </p>

<p>It’s been said before, but a student who is serious about school and doesn’t want to spend all his time at parties and drinking will find others that feel the same way even at big party schools like ASU, CU, FSU, UCSB, Syracuse and Penn State. </p>

<p>Hi - I’ll talk to my son’s friend and ask. Kenyon is much more what I’d consider “mainstream” vs. a place like Oberlin. I also wonder about the College of Wooster. There are kids from here who attend/attended, really liked it and are a little more politically conservative. </p>

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<p>Depends on the given serious student’s tolerance for living in a party school type campus environment. Many from what I’ve seen tend to hate it or find it so intolerable they make it a point to transfer out to a campus with a more intellectual or at least…a place with minimal partying/drinking after a year or two.</p>

<p>It may be easier for a non-partier to find other non-partiers at a big “party school” like ASU than at a small “party school” like Dartmouth, Bucknell, DePauw, Sewanee, Washington and Lee, etc…</p>

<p>There are some who like to politicize everything, and degrade other people’s questions and opinions because if one is on a particular side of the political spectrum, they must be selfish and uncaring, right? </p>

<p>However, reading the OP’s other thread about, “DS feeling guilty about living well while millions are in poverty”, there are several things that would concern me, and I believe they should be considered. A parent still can influence and guide their children, at 15 years old.</p>

<p>She mentioned that he is questioning all expenditures beyond bare necessities. Feeling guilty about having music lessons, though he is very accomplished and music is very important to him. He is saying that music is not essential and that maybe he should give it up. She has said, “I am worried because he is quite capable of deciding that he can’t live with himself if excessive (in his view) money is spent on him, and giving up music and deciding not to go to college”. He’s despondent about the fact that no one seems to care enough about the poor.</p>

<p>There are enough mentions of guilt and despondency that as a parent, I would be very concerned. It is way beyond just having a passion for social justice and animals. I would want to watch this carefully to make sure it doesn’t turn from just being exceptionally compassionate, to where he always feels undeserving and sad.</p>

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<p>Even at larger schools like ASU or SUNY Albany*, the critical mass of partiers/heavy drinkers and their antics around campus and especially in the dorms late at night means the more serious students are subjected to unwanted noise, vandalism and disgusting signs of their activities like vomit all over the dorm areas, and involuntary sleep deprivation. </p>

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<li>Knew several HS classmates and friends who transferred out because they grew fed up at having to put up with all of that BS in the dorms and around campus.<br></li>
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<p>A long list from the schools favored by posters. Time to let your son come up with his list and trust him to find good fits for his personality. Remember that it is HIS life and he needs to take charge of HIS college search.</p>

<p>@NYMomof2, I believe selective LACs will be receptive to your son’s profile. Every applicant has vulnerabilities, but strengths can compensate and your son’s perceived weak points may not be as problematic as you anticipate.</p>

<p>Small LACs, even the most selective, are not looking for perfection. They are looking for interesting kids who do interesting things who will contribute to the campus community, ideally in more than one area. This what high school data can’t evaluate. Statistics and traditional ECs don’t tell the whole story, and I think high school counselors can sometimes get lost in the weeds of comparing scores and grades and traditional ECs. </p>

<p>The value of abstract and individual ECs vary according to the culture of each college. Some value involvement in political activism, some music/art/drama, some sports/outdoorsy stuff, some entrepreneurism etc., and a combination of different attributes can be appealing.</p>

<p>Over the next year and a half, your son will be able to do his own research through reading, talking, visiting and will get a better feel for what’s right for him.</p>

<p>The key is to communicate – through the subjective parts of his application: essays, recommendations, music supplement-- who he is and what he cares about. Sincere interest is also an important part of LAC admissions. Visits, “Why X” essays and ED applications can mean a lot. </p>

<p>I</p>

<p>"I’m just saying as someone who lived near and knows the area well, that it’s very much a little Wisconsin city and not a sophisticated college town. "</p>

<p>Neither are a lot of little nowheresville college towns in rural MA, VT, NH, or ME. Why is it any different? </p>

<p>^ Nothing different or bad. And culture shock is not a bad thing. I’m so not trying to bash these schools. I went to school in Wisconsin, lived in rural Wisconsin, and grew up in rural(ish) Iowa, not far from Grinnell. I love the Midwest; I’m one of those “say hi to everyone on the street” people. I just think that the city/town in which a school is located should be one of the things prospective students look at. It was important for me; it was important for my kids. It won’t be important for everyone. And, peoples’ opinions of whether a town is a ‘college town’ or not and whether it matters is also very personal. </p>

<p>Sally, Wheaton is very strong academically. If conservative kids can be OK in liberal environments, I’m sure liberal kids can cope with living among some conservatives.</p>

<p>USC is a very strange recommendation. The Greek life is huge and it is in LA, a party city. Plus, many students at SC are interested in making lots of money, not living on $10,000/year. From the Princeton Review, Stone Cold Sober Schools - BYU, Wheaton, Coll of Ozarks, Thomas Aquinas, Wesleyan. I have a friend at Ohio Wesleyan, and it seems pretty mellow, with many students concerned about liberal social issues.
Also, look at Point Loma U in San Diego, and Baylor. UCSD is known for a minimal social life. Pepperdine in Malibu is quiet.</p>

<p>@Maggpie‌

Pretty sure they are referring to Wesleyan College in Macon, GA, an all-women’s HBCU.</p>

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<p>I think it is like the difference between Waterville (Colby) or Auburn (Bates) and Brunswick (Bowdoin) or Hanover or Northampton (Smith). The latter three are pretty towns that attract more sophisticated residents, restaurants, etc. There is a difference.</p>

<p>prezbucky, Wheaton is a good school, but religion is front and center in its mission, describing itself as “explicitly Christian.”</p>

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<p><a href=“http://www.wheaton.edu/About-Wheaton”>http://www.wheaton.edu/About-Wheaton&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>To me there is a big difference between attending a school where one might be in the religious/political minority based on the overall leanings of the student body or faculty, and one in which the primary purpose is honoring a religious figure. I do not think an atheist or non-evangelical would have an easy time at Wheaton.</p>

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