<p>so I am meeting a lot of new people this year who seem to like me, especially in my fraternity. But when I call them to see whats going on, they are either busy or doing something else. How do I get into a social position to be asked to come to a party or invited. I know I don't know a lot of the people they are with at times, but if they were a friend, they'd invite me right? I just tried to invite someone to lunch, and he had something to do, just like last night he claimed he wasn't going out, yet I saw pictures of him on facebook with people. I feel really shy now to ask anyone else. Tho to be truthful, most of the people in the frat (which is a startup colony now) know other people in it and have other friends. Although I did get invited to the frat party on Friday night.</p>
<p>I should also mention my social situation. I transferred here last year fall 2008, lived off campus, took off the spring, and came back as a sophomore this year. I didn't meet too many people last year but this year I've met a lot more, but still have not many close friends, not to mention I'm barely friends with any girls.</p>
<p>Awped, I think you missed that the frat I am in is a colony. The way kids got chosen was that 4 graduates of other schools came and interviewed kids, they offered bids. Most of the kids who got bids were friends with a few others either in or out of the frat. It wasn’t like a pre-existing one. I did get invited to our first frat party tho on Friday.</p>
<p>Try meeting people in your classes. Usually in class, especially smaller classes, people sort of group up with people, do work together, gripe about the Prof. if he/she is a jerk, etc. Just find a group of people in class who you can make small talk and hit it off with within the classroom, then after a few weeks of just being friends in class say something casual like “Hey, does anyone want to go grab a coffee with me after class?” Then the friendship can grow and you guys can go to parties and stuff together.</p>
<p>I’d starting arranging something to do, even if small scale, and inviting people you thing you might get along with to go. It’s a good way to make yourself known and receive further invitations.</p>
<p>Europegrad, what if it seems the people I’m tryin to get to hang out with seem to get along with me really well? Someone I asked about stuff I had dinner with twice already, once with his friends including a girl? When will he invite me to things?</p>
<p>Maybe (I don’t know details) easily removable barriers still exist:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>For some reason he thinks you would not want to go to the places where he would invite you to do so. Inviting someone and having the invitation turned back is something that might boter some otherwise cool people. Let he know you would like to join him in some activity you know he likes/does often, in advance and without pushing him.</p></li>
<li><p>He might be already part of a closer circle of friends with whom he hangs out, circle which might be, as a group, not that receptive towards friends-of-friends. In this case, just give some time and situation will improve.</p></li>
<li><p>Maybe for some reason he got the impression you would be the type of people who could easily “clinge” on him. Just let he know, naturally, that you have a social life of your own and are not in a position in which entering his social circle is everything.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Simple stuff, might work out. But don’t worry too much, and try other options. People who get along the most are the ones who act naturally and let it happend, without pushing themselves into others’ social circles nor pulling other to theirs.</p>
<p>OK I didn’t meet a lot of people here before last year. If I sound “desperate,” then I am. I just want what other people have. But I do think some think I may be coming off “needy.” How do I attract them to hang out with me? I know people wanna hang out with others who have friends. But I have to start somewhere!!! Why is the desire for friends and friends fast so “wrong?” I’m a nice intelligent friendly person.</p>
<p>I’ve been described by people as having a good face but I’m also really short. I’m a 5’2’’ male. How much of an effect could this be having? Yes I know some guys want friends who are studly, but I’ve seen some guys my height get mad ass.</p>
<p>I’m being dead serious. I want a social life, and I don’t want it later, next year, I ****ing want it NOW. Like everyone else has. I know I have to be patient, but my patience is being severely tried. Its as if God is trying to taunt me by dangling everything in front of my face but I just can’t seem to get it. I just wanna know how to make friends and get kids who seem to like me to not only hang out with me, but to invite them to hang out with them and their friends without coming off like I have no friends, or I’m “needy” or “clingy” etc. I want to get into a clique fast, because in out frat, due to the way it formed as a new colony (meaning there wasn’t a real rush or pledging), there is no real brotherhood yet. I mean I’ve made some initial pretty good impressions and they all say hi to me when they walk by and I’m kinda getting to know them, but I want to be invited places.</p>
<p>ok DC I think to some people I may have come off like that. How do I fix it? Pretty much everyone would say I’m a really nice kid, but how do I translate that into a social life where I get calls, invites, hookups and relationships with girls, etc.? I mean I joined a fraternity to make it easier to meet people. In the future do I just wait for them to ask me to hang out and not ask them? I’ll admit I had no actual friends in high school or before, I have Asperger’s tho its not at all obvious to really anyone. I’m trying to make my facebook look like I have friends and be more active on that. What do I do to get actual friends FAST?</p>
<p>Try and get to know the people you are acquainted with better. See if you jive with them. If you don’t, get to know some other people.</p>
<p>My first two years of high school I didn’t have too many close friends. I had one who I’m still close friends with, but while we confided a lot of stuff with each other we never invited each other to hang out much. </p>
<p>Anyway, junior year I sort of came out of my shell (a bit) and got to know a couple other people. There was one guy I’d always been acquainted with and one day we learned we had the same taste in music… now we’re excellent friends. I learned that a guy I’ve known since 7th grade likes a lot of the stuff I do, and a few jokes here and a few laughs there and we’re also great friends now.</p>
<p>Senior year it was basically the same deal. I met some new people, got to know the ones I clicked with better, and also got to better know the people I already was acquainted with.</p>