<p>I am a sophomore in college. When I was in high school i was bullied severely for my first two years. I mean slammed into lockers, everything. I was pretty much the punching bag of the class haha. After my sophomore year of high school I started lifting, mind you i played 2 years of football in hs as well but wasnt really good. I started being outgoing and trying to put myself out there, which helped to an extent. I had parents that pretty much didnt allow me to go out at all in high school which really hindered me because all the girls thought i was weird because they never saw me outside of school. I never went to HC Prom or anything and long and short it was terrible. After my Sr year I told myself that I would never ever ever allow myself to be treated like that again. So i completely revamped myself for college. All in all its worked out pretty decently, I have multiple groups of friends. People like me and everyone talks about how genuine and nice I am. I even had a gf for a while last year. I party once a weekend and have a 3.6 GPA. I still have 2-3 good friends from HS too. its just tough because i take things so personally, if someones mad at me its the end of the world to me because I cant stand anyone thinking bad about me. I want to make a difference in the world and be someone people admire. Ive done a pretty good job of changing last few years, and being nice and all. I just, it always irks me because my roommates are still with their girlfriends from high school and i never dated anyone than (had my first kiss at 18) and ive only met one girl that wants to date me and ive been freaking out thinking it will never happen. I want to be a caring loving and supportive partner that treats girls like their father wants their daughter to be treated. I want to be the best boyfriend theyve ever had. I just I get irked over everything, because Im terrified my future GF will be harrassed by my old HS bullies. I know it sounds childish but I just, i want to be successful. and if i ever do bad on a test (I had a 2.2 in HS) I feel like im a failure, and i just want to know how I can put this behind me and be the person that I was meant to be. It keeps me up all the time, I dont blame the people who did that to me because its high school and I would have done the same thing if i was a different person. I just I want to move on, but be successful in every facet of life, as well as be an amazing lovable kind person, which i am. I want to be a success story, and its not going to happen any other way.</p>
<p>Some of the feelings you retain over being bullied are very powerful. You might look into talking with a counselor at your college to work through some of your feelings. Good luck.</p>
<p>Thank you mam, I appreciate it. I mean everyone i talk to at college can never see me being in that position, theyre shocked that that happened to me. And i dont hold anything against anyone who did. But it doesnt help that it took 4 years of my life away in that prison. Granted, I didnt do much to make it better. I sincerely appreciate the advice though mam, i really do.</p>
<p>OP, you are not the only one. Some of the problems you said (such as worry that others hate me) happens to me too. Just relax, and find a counselor/social worker to talk to. Or, you can always pm me if you want to.
If you become more confident about yourself, let it be. Don’t let things make you down. Are bullies superior? Nope. They are NOT superior. So don’t afraid. Make them scare of you. Are bullies going to be successful? Rarely. I know this is a bad advice, but don’t be too nice. If you need to “bully” someone, it’s ok to do so.
If one day you see these people in one day…they might not even recognize you. If they do, don’t be afraid, they are not going to do anything to you because you are so confident. 
It’s easier said than done, but you will do it!</p>
<p>Oh I know man! everyone feels the same way at times, Im not going to be mean to anyone. But im going to be straight up with people. I also dont want you know women to think of me as awe hes friendly. I want to be like a genuine caring guy for someone but i need to get them to see that. Ive come a far far way. I just I worry about it alot. Thanks alot bud</p>
<p>Pirate15:
You are welcome!
What I mean was don’t let others take advantage from you because of how nice you are :). Again, just relax when you think about the past…it’s over. I had a tough past too, so I know how it feels.
I hope you will be very successful. :)</p>
<p>One way to “get over” is to become forgetful. What I mean by this is to become so busy with your life that you forget the names of your bullies. Make a concerted effort to not know what your past high school classmates who were unkind are doing. Delete them from Facebook, and don’t hold onto any emotion toward them. No emotion! </p>
<p>If you can accomplish the paradigm shift that is required to turn your head toward your own bright future you will be able to lose the thoughts that keep you looking back.</p>
<p>It is difficult to realize two items that can twist you inside; 1) Some of your torturers feel no remorse for what they did. 2) Most of these mean kids will “turn out” and become nice enough people later in life. That’s tough, because you suffered, dang it! There in lies the most crucial element of forgiveness, moving on to live the best life you deserve and not flogging yourself with the constant mantra of “How could they do this to me!”</p>
<p>Why do I sound like I might know a bit about forgiveness? When I was 21 I and my fianc</p>
<p>I’ve got to throw one more thing out there for you pirate15. Defining moments. These are moments that mold, shape and direct our lives. Examples are graduating from college, getting married, and the birth of a child. The thing about defining moments is YOU get to chose what they are!</p>
<p>You would think that my accident was a defining moment for me. It was not. At the time of the accident I did make it a defining moment. There were also some crazy circumstances surrounding the accident that I won’t go into detail here, but ultimately it involved my family and people I didn’t even know at that time who became part of my family that I had to also forgive for their involvement.</p>
<p>The element of that accident that did become a defining moment was my realization of the need to forgive, to look beyond, to get going! </p>
<p>Remember, YOU choose what defines you. Make sure you are not defined by some bad behavior of some dumb people. Trust me, they aren’t thinking about you as much as you are thinking about them.</p>
<p>lol, you sound like the male version of me :)</p>
<p>I’ve told some of the people i’m closest to in college about how thin of a skin I have. When they’re around they kind of help me out when I have somebody being a jerk for no reason. They also are around to make me feel better when I feel horrible and feel life a bad person for no reason at all.
Having people to help you does help a lot. However, people like you and I can’t depend on others forever. We need to develop thicker skins. I’m still working on it. I just smile and bite back any hurt feelings. It’s hard, but i’m getting better at it.
Message me if you ever want to talk. Bullies stink, and they do leave an impression. That’s one of the few things i’ll fight over. If I see somebody being bullied i’ll say something because I remember how bad it felt.</p>