I’ll second the 'post on FB market or local FB ‘buy/sell pages’ if the antique dealer doesn’t work out.
I sold much of my parents’ mahogany furniture, formal china, and other items that way. I will say it was really heartwarming to see a young couple take home a diningroom table and chairs for an affordable (in FB market world) price - they were absolutely thrilled. That happened again and again (I even gave my mom’s 1950s dresses to a young woman who loved vintage - she drove an hour and cried she was so delighted). I know my parents would have been really happy about it, too.
@momofboiler1 trust me…Replacements will not be paying you what they charge customers to purchase. I was thinking about sending them some things…but they were offering less than 1/4 of what they sold them for. Between that and the cost of shipping…I just gave the stuff away.
For a long time I hated my china pattern but it’s grown on me again. I need to just start using it and not worrying if it chips or the gold rim starts to wear off. May as well enjoy it.
What they are asking isn’t what they will pay. While I posted that they didn’t want anything I had to offer, had I wanted to replace a few pieces in my set, they could have sold me them.
Right. We are using a set of white (no metal trim) Royal Doulton porcelain dinnerware as our everyday dishes. They work just fine…and really, we have dropped them and such. They look brand new still.
But no metal trim and plain white…no flowers or fancy border…very plain.
@momofboiler1 - if you’re in NJ and you want some new dishes, come on by! There is also a nice set of every day pottery. I forget what it is called but it’s sort of like Pfaltzfraff. I am sad about that one, as it’s our ambition to buy a Vermont house-and if I had it already, those would be my Vermont dishes! Thanks to everyone who has commented with ideas and stories. Some really helpful comments here! I do put my own Lenox china in the dishwasher after holidays. It has a silver rim. But it’s only a few times each year and I always make sure there is plenty of room in the dishwasher so things don’t get banged around. Will say, I am really angry that I got conned into the military-industrial china complex when I got married. We really did not need china. When my daughter gets married I am not going to put any pressure on her to register for needless stuff.
I think the moral of this story/thread is that “nice things” or “not so nice things”, it’s a lot of both physical and mental work to get through an estate.
We will be doing this for my mom’s house since her recent death. On thing on our side is that she was not a “things” person and so while she has a 3 bed, 2 bath, full basement house each room can be dealt without tons of sorting. But old furniture is old furniture and it has to go somewhere! I suspect that no one will want any of her main furniture (it’s not of $ value) so that will be a lot of get rid of.
Going through this with my dad’s house now. First suggestion is to be realistic. Although many people’s parents have nice things, the times have changed and often times there no longer is an interest in them. Place what you can, pitch the rest and feel good about that. We used a 3 pronged approach (4 if you count my siblings and I ( and our kids taking things of interest/use to us): consignment/antique shop, picker who came and purchased some things and charities. Everything else is destined for dumpster. There are still some things that someone somewhere might be interested in using. But finding them and getting the stuff there is a problem and there is only so much you can do.
In the end, we all have a lot of stuff and its perfectly fine for us. But everyone else has stuff too and aren’t necessarily looking for more stuff from someone else (family or not).
One issue with kids/grandkids is timing. When we first moved into our house a couple decades ago, we didn’t have dining room furniture. We didn’t for several years. Had my parents offered their dining room set, we gladly would have accepted it. But fast forward to today when my parents dining room furniture is no longer needed by them, and my wife and I already have dining room furniture. No interest in replacing it with my parents. A lot of stuff fell into same camp. And for grandchildren, its too early for them to need those things (if they will even have an interest – do not expect my kids to ever want formal dining room furniture). Timing can work for some families but often does not.
And this has definitely been a lesson in terms of go through your stuff and thin it out on your own. Don’t make your kids do it. Had my parents tossed much of what they kept, my siblings and I wouldn’t have been asking about it. But they kept it and we had to go through it. Mom and dad kept it so maybe one of us should too was a common theme. Thankfully my wife is a pitcher so we do not accumulate things. One of my brothers took some very silly things and I told him that in 30 years, I would relay that day to his sons (as his sons are pitching the items away).
@abasket “I think the moral of this story/thread is that “nice things” or “not so nice things”, it’s a lot of both physical and mental work to get through an estate.”
Yep. And honestly-this aunt gifted us her estate, so selling/donating/cleaning out the house-that is our sweat equity for what was really a tremendous and unexpected gift. I don’t want to complain AT ALL. I just want to get it done.
I like Facebook Marketplace. I look up the seller for security reasons; one time it was a friend of a friend, so no worries going to her home. I also sold an outdated Early American dining room set on FB Marketplace. The buyer, a young teacher, was thrilled to get it.
As for sentimental items, I am telling my kids the stories behind the pieces of my grandparents that I have. That way, those pieces are not just ‘junk’ to them but have meaning and a connection to the family history.
I have to be honest here. My mom told me many of those stories over the years. But gosh, I don’t really remember a lot of them! So many stories! Where there are so many generations of family, members of family, cousins, nieces, steps, etc. - my mind (or maybe interest or lack of over the decades) only allows so much retention.
I personally don’t believe in holding onto piece after piece of an item with no use to me - the item itself does not secure family history. I could take a picture, put it in a photo album with a brief caption of “story” and be done with the item.
My point being, we all have different “attachments”. Neither way is wrong but we have to respect the way we each view the preservation of “things”.
My younger son was actually happy to take my mother’s old china. It wasn’t in great shape either. We divvied most of my parent’s stuff when my mother moved into my brother’s house. They have lots of cool stuff from their travels in Asia and Africa. I suspect that at least my younger son would be interested in it. I do have a lot of nasty silver trays and bowls that I never use, but can’t seem to toss.
I did a sport with some success, so I “retired” some hunks of engraved silver. Win it 3 times, it’s yours! That was the sport’s way of getting rid of this old stuff! Thinking that a smelting party may be in my future.
In cases where it is too overwhelming to take a family china set, one option is to just take the dinner plates. That preserves the memory yet does not take up too much space.
I have all of my mother’s plates, silverware, some matching serving dishes, maybe also tea cups stashed away somewhere, assorted glasses/goblets. If we downsize, I will likely just keep the dinner plates and silverware…. or maybe not even that if the kids want any of it.
New Yorker has an interesting article about estate sales (I wasn’t sure which of the multiple threads to put it in but this seemed appropriate). It seems brown furniture can sell. Apparently online estate sales have boomed and many agents are continuing to hold them instead of or in addition to onsite sales.
So true! Rather than sell a lot of my grandmother’s china to replacement.com, my DC is going to take when they move out and use it as their every day dishes (the pattern and colors feel less formal than most china).
I think it depends on what “brown” furniture it is. Mid century modern brown furniture or unique early 1900’s furniture YES, but 80’s oak - solid as it may be! - nope. Not around here anyway.
Funny this thread just bumped up. A few minutes ago I gave my husband a handful of silver dollars I found at my mom’s house (H used to collect coins so knows the market somewhat). He said, “These are worth maybe $30 but I can’t sell them, they were your mom’s!” I looked at him and said, “well, if you don’t sell them and get $30 a piece in a few decades (God willing…) when our kids are clearing out OUR house they are not going to bother getting that $30 and will use them at the convenience store!”
I now have quite a few sterling silver place settings my parents got for their wedding in 1961. They are still in their plastic wrapping! Any idea what I should do with them?
