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Go for it, guy. There’s big-time money in it, and a small but probably sufficient number of parents who would willingly trade their child’s autonomy/happiness for a bumper sticker from the right school. :rolleyes:</p>
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Go for it, guy. There’s big-time money in it, and a small but probably sufficient number of parents who would willingly trade their child’s autonomy/happiness for a bumper sticker from the right school. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>LOL. “If you could have the control.” That means getting the kid to be an automaton who dutifully does whatever-the-proper-and-prescribed-things-are to impress adcoms. Heaven forbid the kid does an extracurricular because he or she enjoys it; nope, it’s got to be on the One Right Prescribed Path.</p>
<p>No thanks. I’ll take the chances that my kids don’t wind up at HYPSM (in fact, they won’t! I know it!). I’d rather they be happy individuals than trained monkeys.</p>
<p>PG, LOL. That was old me. believe me, I am a very strong supporter for a kid to develop his/her own passion. Not matter how insignificant it may look to an outsider. If I were to develop a slogan, I will use something DD taught me “develop yourself in a good person, not to look good on an application”. </p>
<p>If one keeps asking “is this important for college application”, he/she is missing the whole point of a good college application. That being said, there are adminstrative things parents should do to help guide an relatively inexperienced HS student.</p>
<p>PS, PG. Are you implying those students who got into HYPSM are
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<p>nj2011mom ~</p>
<p>We had a long relationship with Rutgers as they run the 4H equine program in which D and I participated for over 10 years. When it came time to choose a college, D knew she did not want any part of the bureaucracy at Rutgers. We had spent plenty of time on the campus and it was not for her. That being said, their equine program is very good. We know several kids who have gone through it. D’s friend went there with the intention of going to vet school to be specifically an equine vet. This girl had good grades and tons of relevant work experience (worked during college at 2 of the major equine hospitals in NJ), yet was not accepted to any of the vet schools in the US. She eventually was accepted to one out of the country. And that is very expensive too, with no financial aid other than loans.</p>
<p>I would be very concerned with the financial climate in NJ regarding public education. As you know, it has been hit very hard, so obviously cuts are going to have to be made and tuition is going to have to increase. At the end of that, with your D’s stats, she may have a better experience and a less expensive education at an out of state school either public or private. She should have some awesome choices.</p>
<p>As a parent I will do what I can to provide opportunities and guidance, but NOT at the expense of my child’s happiness. No future college acceptance is worth altering your child’s true being.</p>
<p>If a child’s true personality and traits are not a good fit for HYPSM and the only way to gain acceptance is to spend 4 years of high school on some sort of forced strategic plan then why on earth would anyone think they would be happy attending these schools?</p>
<p>I’m new to the forum, but this discussion is very close to home. We have bascially told our children that we will do what we can to help them, however, with 3 kids we do have limitations. So, we’ve said that we will be able to pay full tuition to a state college (estimated about $25,000 per year by the time my kids go to school). If they want to go to an out of state school at $50K per year, then they will have to figure out how to pay the difference. We might be eligable for some merit aid, but the way things are going these days, it will be fairly insignificant. </p>
<p>So, perhaps you can tell her you’ll pay a certain amount and then she needs to cover the rest through grants and loans. This way you can be assured that she takes the financial part of this equation into consideration.</p>
<p>Our oldest daughter is a sophomore at the U of Oregon, the first college we visited, and on the way home she said she’d never go there and that she planned to go out of state. We told her we could afford the U of O, and would pay the equivalent amount if she chose another school. Our stand was that she needed to apply there as a “back up.” When it came time to make her decision, the out of state school she really liked was twice as much and didn’t have as strong a program in what she wanted to pursue, journalism. She made the decision on her own, and it has ended up being a wonderful experience. She is extremely happy, has lots of opportunities in her field of study, good friends, got to go the Rose Bowl (even if it was a loss!) This summer she has an internship in NYC, so she’s finally getting her out-of-state experience, and we’re thrilled for her. And it looks like she’ll have her degree debt-free, which is important to her.</p>
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<p>No; in fact, my nephew is going to one of those schools in the fall. I NEVER said students who get into HYPSM are trained monkeys. YOU’RE the one who thinks there is some kind of formula… that if you were given control beginning freshman year, you could get “any decent kid” into a top 20.</p>
<p>BTW, how do you “make” kids get certain scores on SAT’s, AP’s, etc.? How do you “make” kids get straight A’s?</p>
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<p>I am curious – if you were so into letting S develop his own passion (per the lessons you learned from D) – why was the end goal essentially the same – admittance into one of only a handful of select institutions in this country (HYPSM and a handful of others)?</p>
<p>OP here…while I’m not a fan of reviving old threads, just thought I would complete the circle. </p>
<p>She applied Sunday night, was accepted last night and we paid the $150 deposit today!</p>
<p>Over the summer she spoke with some friends that are at Rutgers and heard they love it. The Cornell summer program was also a huge plus, as she spoke with several vets, who did tell her that her goal is to get great undergrad grades and animal experience. We went to the campus on Oct 1. For the first time before any college trip, she emailed a professor and we met her in the horse barn where she noted that Rutgers had a 100% vet school admission rate last year. </p>
<p>We also told her we would pay vet school tuition if she went to Rutgers but wouldn’t if she went to another school. </p>
<p>Thanks for the support! It’s a bit of a emotional let down, as it happened so quickly, but we’re happy and just waiting to hear about merit aid in a few months.</p>
<p>That’s awesome, OP! I love reviving old threads when there’s an update involved. So, she’s done, or are you still considering other schools? Congrats!</p>
<p>That is it! One application & she’s done! (her biggest complaint is Rutgers doesn’t take Common Ap and she filled it all in & had an awesome essay that are now going to waste.)</p>
<p>Congrats to your D and your family. I think for many Rutgers suffers from the “it’s too close to home” problem, which is unfortunate. Luckily, your D got over this hump, and I wish her the best and success all the way. We know many successful grads who have gone on to top programs in various fields from Rutgers. Think of how much of a weight is taken off her for the rest of her senior year!</p>
<p>You are beyond lucky! One and done. Love it. Good luck to her.</p>
<p>Thanks for the update!</p>
<p>Great news :).</p>
<p>nj2011, Congrats to your D. My (now graduated) S1 never wanted anything but our big state u. and like your D was accepted very early (Oct). After that, his senior year was great. He had more fun that year than any other year in h.s. witout the worry about where he was going to college. Hope your D has a great senior year.</p>
<p>“trained monkeys”</p>
<p>I guess that means my kids are trained monkeys. Thats O.K I think they are pretty cool kids.</p>
<p>Sounds like your situation is resolved. But I’m hearing this from other parents I know. IMO, if you are paying for college then you have every right to set parameters for which he/she can agree or not. You could tell her that you will fiance a state school and anything above and beyond is her responsibility to come up with the funding. </p>
<p>I believe parents are responsible for helping their child get the best education they are comfortable and willing to give. This does not mean ‘dream school’ or ‘college experience’ or any thing else.</p>
<p>The refusal to tell kids “no” is doing them no favors in the long run.</p>
<p>OP - That is awesome that you updated the thread. It was so helpful to me last year when I could read “the rest of the story”. It would be great if you update it again a year from now, when your daughter has had some Rutgers experience. Good Luck! </p>
<p>PS - I bet she could sell that Common App essay about now… just kidding ;)</p>
<p>OP - congratulations to you for raising a level-headed child. And congratulations to her for having generous parents: she will be a vet without any (significant) student loans. This is a win-win for the entire family, and no doubt many horsey/furry creatures as well.</p>