How to handle being bad at a class my friends are doing well in

Hello! A bit about me, I’m currently a sophomore in high school and I’ve been an advanced learner my whole life. Recently though, I feel as if I’ve hit a bump in my path if that bump was a 100 story building. I’ve always been in the advanced classes, taking classes my peers are taking currently in sixth grade. All of my friends took the same classes as me and we’ve always been on around the same level. Recently though, I feel as if I’ve been falling behind them. Since we’re all ahead of the curriculum, mainly in math, we’re always put into the same math classes together; precalculus in freshman year and ap stats this year. Unlike in the past, when we all got the same grades, I’ve started getting lower grades than the others. This didn’t bother me as much last year, as the difference in grades wasn’t that big, but this year I feel as if there’s such a big gap between me and my friends and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’ve been a solid C/B student in AP stats so far this year while my friends are always getting A/B’s. I’m trying really hard in this class, I’ve been studying my ass off and I’m really doing the best I possibly can, and I’m having a really hard time with the fact that I’m doing so much worse than my friends.
The AP exam for stats is in 5 days and I just took a practice exam for it, getting a 57% on the multiple choice section of it. I don’t know what to do to help myself get a better score on it. I’ve studied for hours and nothing’s worked, I don’t know how to understand this material better. I understand all the concepts separately, but I never know which concept to use for each question. I’ve tried asking my friends to help and they do slightly, but I feel like they assume I understand more than I do and I’m afraid to correct them. I’ve started pretending to be slacking towards my friends so that they’ll assume that’s why I’m getting such bad grades so that they don’t think I’m just stupid. This has been very damaging to my mental health and I don’t know what to do. Also I just came off my anti-depressants and the effects have almost fully worn off (bad timing, I know).

What does this mean? What exactly are you doing?

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I made flashcards of equations, I’ve gone through my pages and pages of notes, highlighting and rewriting, I’ve done practice quizzes; getting above 80% on all of them. I’ve never really had to study before and don’t really know what to do but I’ve been trying really hard.

Studying math means you do problems. Lots and lots of problems. Anything else is not studying math. You open your textbook and do 10 problems in each chapter in the next 5 days – pick the last 10 problems in each chapter. Make sure the problems are different from each other – i.e., don’t do the same kind of problem more than once.

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Get a tutor.

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Take the course challenge for AP Statistics on Khan Academy. After taking the challenge you will be given suggested units to study. Do those units.

Have you asked your teacher for help?

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Please bring this issue up with your therapist. Let them know you’re struggling. Your health is more important than any grade you may possibly earn on a exam.

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Also, stop talking about your grades on exams and in classes with your friends!

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For the future…when you notice things getting tough or your not understanding the material get help from your teacher right away. It’s a good practice since you will probably need to do this in college. Lots of high math kids have problems with stats. Do the best you can. The AP score in reality means nothing.

As you progress in high school certain classes will separate you from your friends. If these are truly friends have you considered making a study group in the future? Maybe some peers can help you understand some of the material? We are not all perfect and all knowing. We all need help with certain topics and idea’s. At my son’s high school he was one of the math peer to peer helpers. During lunch /break time there were several peer tutor helpers and each had a line of students to help. No shame in asking for help.

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Don’t panic. For some reason, some people “get” stats and some people don’t. Even those that tend to do well in other math classes. DS has gotten an A+ in every math class BUT stats. And the funny thing is he ended up using stats way more than calculus in his classes outside of pure math classes and has been doing just fine.

Also, now that you are in high school, information will be coming in faster. DD really began struggling with this in 9th grade (second year of high school where we are) and it was causing anxiety. We had her tested, and as I have always suspected, she falls a bit below her peers in processing speed. She is actually more capable of applying the information than her peers once she understands it, but teachers tend to just give the information too fast (especially in classes where they know the students are advanced) for her to cofortably keep up. It’s not that she can’t be in these classes, she just needs to have notes provided, use a smart pen, etc. Do you feel like the information is too fast? Too much? Or just having trouble knowing when to apply different methods to solve the problems?

One of the biggest things she learned was that she doesn’t need to be in ALL AP classes. She took that pressure off of herself and took the ones she enjoyed. She also stopped comparing herself to her friends. Some of those friendships actually eroded over time as she refused to give into grade comparisons and began to resent the girls that always had to be stressed out about something (do you really need to cry during a teacher’s after school help period and take time away from the kids that actually need help if you got a 95% on the test instead of a 100+%?). High school is a time for big changes and, hopefully, they wil give you some important information about yourself. I think any good student over 25 that stressed over grades in high school will tell you they wish they worried slightly less about grades and spent more time figuring out what they enjoyed.

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A few comments:
–First stop talking about grades all the time with your friends. More than likely nobody cares what grade you are getting.
–If you are having difficulty grasping a subject going forward don’t wait until 5 days before the AP or final exam to do something about it. The minute you feel you need support in a subject seek out your teacher after school for extra help, use online resources (ex. Khan Academy), find practice books, get a tutor if needed. Please use this experience as a lesson as you move forward in your academic career.
–Seek out counsel from your therapist regarding both medication and coping skills.

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