How to handle discouragement about applying

<p>soo... in case you couldn't get the gist of this thread by its title: </p>

<p>word has gotten out that i am applying to boarding school (mostly among my moms friends- her fault haha)... and literally EVERYONE is trying to convince me out of it. I am hearing horror story after horror story.. and since i am applying no matter what, i was wondering if anybody had advice on what to tell these people. </p>

<p>i've had teachers, parents, and even my school counselor try to convince me not to apply.. each time i just say, "at this point it's just an idea..." or "i want a change.." mostly because i don't want to diss anyone haha.</p>

<p>has anybody else been going through the same thing, and do you have any advice on what to say? </p>

<p>thanks :]</p>

<p>My parents have kind of kept it to themselves...My teachers havent really said anything. Im gearing up for when I get all the questions about why Im going to boarding school if I get in. Im just gunna make up a lie these people need to mind their own business in my opinion lol.</p>

<p>Could you say "It's an incredible opportunity and with the new financial aid policies it can be really affordable. Where else can you do crew, take pottery, arabic and advanced physics all in one day?" Or plug in your favorite activities/classes here.</p>

<p>I know this is easy to say but really hard to do. My mother (DS's grandmother) thinks we are crazy for even considering sending him away to school! </p>

<p>Hang in there! Good luck!</p>

<p>Thats what I don't like people keep referring to it as "sending away". Im not sure how my mom is going to be able to explain to her. Knowing her she will just brag about matriculation numbers and alumni.</p>

<p>True some people are very impressed with the matriculation data and the prestige of it all. The more I learn about BSs the less I care about matric data though...</p>

<p>That's the same with me. I enjoy thinking more about decorating my dorm room, what sports I'd play, and what friends I'd make more than I enjoy thinking about how ten people from last year's graduating class went to Harvard</p>

<p>Ya same. But from my moms standpoint its more about matricualtion numbers for her...which I think is the second biggest reason parents look into boarding school (1st big financial aid). THEN when you research on it you see all the other perks of boarding school.</p>

<p>everyone has been supportive for me, even my friends although they tell me they'd rather me stay</p>

<p>Just tell them it's none of their business and it's what you want to do, they should be supportive of you and say "Okay great! I'm glad you're going for something you want!" but..considering the reality of the situation, they're not. you don't have to answer them either, just shrug it off, because really if you want to do it them go for it! Good luck to you!</p>

<p>hmm just curious but what exactly are they saying?</p>

<p>The number one thing is "Your sending your kids away!, what did he do!"</p>

<p>i've had horror stories on boarding school provided by my friend. i asked where these people went. she told me it was a boarding school in southeast asia. i was like well... duh... american boarding schools are nothing like asian boarding schools... asian boarding schools aren't like ANY boarding schools</p>

<p>You might say something like this: "This is something I really want to do. I've always been independent and I want to be on my own, be responsible for myself. I get to live with my friends, I get a ton of courses to pick from, there are a million EC activities and sports. But they're really competitive to get into; everyone wants to go." </p>

<p>Talking about wanting (and getting) independence and living with your friends are benefits that almost all your peers (and most adults) can immediately relate to.</p>

<p>My mother (DSs grandmother) is on an anti boarding school campaign. She gets each of us alone (DS, DH and me) and whispers, " You're not really sending that child away are you? , You don't really want to leave home do you?, You're going to make your life harder financially! ect... " She does mean well but it is really difficult to deal with for DS since he is sensitive and doesn't like to upset people. I think coming from a working class family herself she just has no frame of reference for todays boarding schools. It's hard for any 13 yr old to deal with questions like that when it is already a huge decision for him/her!</p>

<p>While we have encouraged our son and he very much wants the opportunity, we have also stressed to him that this is one of the very few completely selfish decisions that he will get to make in his life. In other words, we have told him that he should not consider how anyone else feels about it, how much he will be missed, etc. It is hard for him to grasp this because like PA-C's son, he is very sensitive. He sometimes thinks that he shouldn't leave his little brother, etc. For children who are highly empathetic, this can be difficult.</p>

<p>To the OP</p>

<p>Just smile, shrug and say you aren't making any descions until after March when acceptances & re-visits happen.</p>

<p>And be sure, even those I thought would admire the decision has looked at my family and thought I am the WORST mom for this -- why in God's name should I WANT my young son exposed to all those bad influences and rich snotty kids who will never have to work a day in their lives?! Um. we are from a Democratic area -- I call it the Bush backlash. We definitely stopped discussing Andover outside of the immediate family.</p>

<p>Lots of Dems went to Andover as well, including JFK Jr.</p>

<p>We are a Democratic Andover family. We do our best to ignore the Bushes. And to make it worse, I graduated from Yale, so I have to ignore them from two schools now. ;)</p>

<p>But, don't put Andover out of the mix because of some people who went there many years ago. Andover is an incredibly diverse community of students, and we are very happy that our student is there.</p>