How to handle ED rejection (if it comes)

<p>Just curious - any parent with any experience handling a rejection from child's first choice ED school? The reponse is expected Friday 12/10 at 5:00 PM online and although I have been trying to prepare my D (since they only accept small %) I am not sure what way is the best. This school is a real reach for her but one can hope that there may be an acceptance. Any advice? She did get her first acceptance yesterday to one of her safety schools (Clemson) We were surprised to see a response since it was a RD application. They also gave her in state tuition (we are out of state) and $1,000 a year stipend. Also stated she may get more aid after the first of the year. That was exciting news! (I sort of felt like I was accepted after all of this process.) :)</p>

<p>The way I am going to deal with rejection is looking at the stats:</p>

<p>Of 100 students who apply to Princeton, about 91 get rejected.</p>

<p>I applied to the same school ED as your daughter did, and I definitely won't be hovering around the computer come Friday afternoon. I'll be at work, playing games with elementary school aged kids and letting their wisdom flow through me. Hopefully a bit of that wisdom will stick and a happy-go-lucky attitude will be mine Friday evening, even if the news is not what I'm hoping for. I also have a busy weekend planned, so if things don't go well, I won't have much time to think about the disappointment.</p>

<p>Good luck to your D. :)</p>

<p>Thanks, Snapple. I'll be rooting for you as well. Hopefully you will both be there together next Fall.</p>

<p>Congrats on the RD acceptance MarylandMom!! :)</p>

<p>Because my son's ED is binding, if he gets rejected I'll tell him that he'll then have a chance to really have fun with the application process and bask in the glow of the many acceptances that will surely come. I'll remind him how much of a longshot his ED school was. I'll show him last year's ED decisions thread where the 1600 800/800/800 kids were getting rejected and the kids really thought there was a glitch in the system because they just couldn't imagine how/why they had been rejected. And, I'll tell him something that I REALLY believe....if they rejected someone like YOU, they weren't a good enough school for you anyway because they probably admitted students that you wouldn't want to go to school with and if they rejected you they probably rejected others like you. </p>

<p>Then I'll go return all of their "stuff" and give the lady behind the counter an earful :) And I'll tell her I want my money back in $1 bills - 180 of them.</p>

<p><em>LOL</em> momsdream...I could have written that one myself!! And WILL, should it become necessary! Hope it doesn't come to that for either of us! ~berurah</p>

<p>Thanks for that post Snapple. I still volunteer at my (high school) kids' elementary and I know the wisdom within those walls. I hope you get good news on Friday.</p>

<p>Hope so too Berurah! Clean your house, open a window and light white candles.....it brings the blessings your way.</p>

<p>Wow - great post momsdream. I read about your $180 worth of purchases on the other post. Let's hope that brings on the luck! I can't wait to hear about everyone's decisions and remember what is meant to be will be. :)</p>

<p>Hope she gets into her ED choice, but let me pump up Clemson a bit since that's a fall-back possiblity for her.</p>

<p>My son had Clemson as one of his safeties this time last year. He didn't get into his one big reach, but got in everyplace else. As he was making up his mind where to go, Clemson kept rising higher on his list, and it inched out a couple of "higher-prestige" places at the wire. (Mechanical Engineering major, BTW.)</p>

<p>Clemson has a surprising number of out-of-staters, and a good crop from Maryland. My son is quite impressed with the Honors Program (a fantastic advantage at registration time a couple weeks ago) and really enjoys the vibe in the Honors dorm. Great weather; very nice and up-beat student body; small-town safety and friendliness.</p>

<p>Thanks, BaltDad. it's nice to hear some Clemson feedback since we have not vidited there. How does admission to the Honors program work? Are you selected throught the general admission pool. Her letter said that she is being considered for other Honors - would this possibly be the Honors program?</p>

<p>My kid got rejected at his ED last year - and while he's certainly recovered and is happy and one of his top choices - it was a crushing blow. I wasn't surprised (after all...the vast majority of people at this particular school were rejected) - but kids tend to get what they want most of the time. After a month or so of mourning, and a few nice acceptance letters, he was OK. By the time he enrolled in his current college, he was already convinced that the ED school wasn't really right for him anyway. As a parent, I'm not sure there's much you can do other than to provide encouragement and hugs. Before that point, however, I think it's wise to apply to at least one acceptable rolling admissions school and one safety - so that your kid knows they have someplace to go should all else fail. Also, have your applications ready to go for your RD schools.</p>

<p>topcat - good advice. My D has actually sent all of her RD apps already - 7 total. The first acceptance letter was a huge relief because as she said "it takes the pressure off now that I know somebody wants me" Now she is beginning to say that she questions the ED process since she won't know where else she could have gone if she is accepted. I thought we had discussed this one over and over. Maybe it's just the nervousness kicking in or perhaps it is her way of preparing for a rejection.</p>

<p>I've sent one RD application in, have several others done, and am just waiting for that ED decision. I think the approaching ED deadline has actually made me realize that if I don't get in I'll still really appreciate what's available to me, even without an acceptance already in hand. Besides, if things don't pan out, there's always the University of Hawaii, which will accept applications in June. ;)</p>

<p>Most of the ED kids at my school (it's actually quite a significant percentage of about 200 seniors) find out next Wednesday, so I'm expecting attendance to be a bit lower than usual on Thursday. Personally, I'm not really looking forward to going to school on Monday and having people ask, regardless of the decision. To me, that's not something that should be broadcast, but instead shared discretely with friends and specific teachers. I hope my parents don't make a big deal out of it either way, but hey, parents will be parents.</p>

<p>D was rejected SCEA last year. She was very quiet and we just gave her space. I waved a couple of conversational openings a couple of times in case she really did want to talk...she came out of it after about three days.</p>

<p>The wait until the Early Evaluation letter came from Wellesley was a long one.</p>

<p>MarylandMom - I ended up really hating the whole ED process in the end - and I don't think I would have felt differently if he'd been accepted. It seems like it just adds more pressure into an already high pressure situation. Also, S got a scholarship at the school he's attending - and the ED school doesn't offer merit aid. Financially, getting rejected was a blessing!</p>

<p>ED is emotionally difficult for kids and their families. They're asked to make a major commitment, to love their ED choice above all others, and at the same time steel themselves for rejection and be prepared to move on immediately. Unfortunately because of the calendar, those RD applications need to get in the mail as soon as the ED rejections come in, so there's not a lot of time for wound licking. My advice -- and this may apply to next year's kids more than this year -- is to send off a few RD applications at the same time as the earlies. Put equal time into both the RDs and the ED and try (I know this is hard) to forget about the ED after it hits the mailbox. </p>

<p>ED worked for us and I'd recommend it for a lot of reasons, but at the same time I'd have a strong, simulataneous Plan B. To me, having an insurance policy is the best antidote to stress.</p>

<p>Definitely Momrath. My D's school requires all applications that they send, to be in by Dec 1, and this year on the Mon after Thanksgiving. They are sitting in the office waiting for the ED decision - good or bad, at least she can recover without worrying about the others - now how is she going to do on finals next week I don't know.</p>

<p>How about "celebrate"? Learning to handle rejection well is an important milestone in growing up. It won't be the last time. </p>

<p>(The reality is that, most of the time, if one has planned well, the difference between the ED school and the matching RD school is not as great as is often imagined, and in many cases, they may have done you a favor.)</p>

<p>Amen to Mini. My oldest son was rejected from his ED school. I hadn't really given much thought to the fact that he had faced little adversity at that point, and had been able to make most of his dreams reality. The lesson that as life goes on for competitive people, chances of being at the top diminish, is a hard one. But necessary!</p>