<p>My d is freshman in a health science major and overwhelmed with the load.
She graduated hs with a 3.5 so is capable. I feel she is not devoting enough time to what is needed to make it work..She feels I don't understand.
She has failed a chem test and a bio test but has signed up for extra help (good sign) My concern comes from the fact that it seems any time roommate has to go into town she accompanies...when I talked to her about this she said she is so stressed sometimes she just has to get off campus...Any advise?</p>
<p>How many units does she have? Usually 13-18 is considered full time. If she is closer to 18, perhaps she can drop her toughest class and experience success at 13 or 14 units. One of my DDs started as a bio major and just took the depts recommended courses load which was nearly 18 units a term and she really got burned out. I recommend a more friendly user load.</p>
<p>Then take a look at her actual course load- if she has a lab that is a small number of units for a lot of work; if she is a science major make sure she is mixing GE classes into the mix for sanity sake.</p>
<p>Even with tough majors kids can fall for the story their friends say, that attendance is not mandatory! It is mandatory for success, go to every single class and sit in the front row to force yourself to pay attention</p>
<p>Continue to support her - try not to nag - we went thru this last yr - in hindsight my D's load was too heavy and really burnt her out. My D had 2 labs and all those extra commitments can be hard.</p>
<p>Where is your D studying? I always recommend the library & had stressed that with mine, but she had a single & thought it was easier there. FInally 2nd sem. she figured out she could be more productive studying in the library.</p>
<p>I think the Internet can be a huge distraction (I'm glad I didn't have it in college) - they get on to research something and then they can go off onto something else & forget their books. But if your D is wise enough to seek out help this early she sounds like she is conscientious and will hopefully use more common sense.</p>
<p>It's also hard when they want to fit in & be friends with the RM - perhaps you can suggest she finds some other ways to relax and get away from it all that might not take as much time out of her schedule as the trips with the RM take</p>
<p>Reminds me of my mother- she flunked out sophomore year, was tops in her '40's HS class. One reason was probably frustration at majors girls were supposed to be in (not science and math), but also according to my sister she would take study breaks with everyone and never spent time doing any studying. Your D needs to limit her social time and focus on the classes. She needs a different stress reliever than leaving campus so often. It would help her to become friends with classmates, who therefore share her love of science, instead of dormmates. No problem with being immersed in something you like, but hard if no one around you is. Perhaps she isn't as interested in the field as she thought she would be and should lighten this semester's load and rethink her classes for next semester. Is a health sciences major a premed one? If so, she needs to be able to handle a heavy load if she expects to succeed in medical school. Otherwise she will certainly change her goals as she learns more about who she is and what she wants in life. Good luck to her from a chemistry major and physician.</p>
<p>She must go to class and she must get tutoring and do her homework. It IS hard. College is hard. Being a science major is grueling especially when the roommate is not. </p>
<p>My daughter is in the same boat - she is at a small school with few kids in her major (Medical Technology)
She is in Honors Chem and all the other kids had two years of Chem in HS, she hasn't had Chem since 10th grade.<br>
She is also taking Bio and likes that class but says the two labs plus lab reports are killing her.
One top of all of that she has tons of reading and papers for her Eng class which is a sophomore Eng class, since she got AP Credit for the freshman class.</p>
<p>Last week she called complaining of the noise in her dorm room. She called me one evening and I could hardly hear her. Her roommate is a business major "with no homework".<br>
The crisis this week is she has no time for anything but class and studying. She can't make friends because all she does is study.</p>
<p>So a big part is time management. They think they are so organized in high school and they are but it all starts to come easier.
At first that 5 page paper seems daunting - it takes hours. By the end of the semester it takes 1/4 of the time.
Same with lab reports.<br>
Be empathetic but not sympathetic.</p>
<p>Her classes are hard. That is a fact. She is right that she needs a break. Life is all about balance, and she is the only one who can master that. Please don't be too quick to assume she is going into town too often. Support her, love her, and back off a little. Let her grow and make her own time management choices. Otherwise, she will quit telling you things. When the day is done, the most important thing is that she is trying hard (as evidenced by her willingness to get extra help), and she is trying to stay well balanced.
If she managed a 3.5 in high school, she'll figure out what to do. Just tell her you believe in her, and lend a willing ear.
P.S. Might be interesting to know what percentage of the class also failed that first test?</p>
<p>I told S2 to make a schedule that includes study time and leisure time as well as classes. That way, you're never at a loss for what to do. If she can, she should schedule an hour as soon as possible after each of the classes she's having trouble with and use it to go over what was covered in class while it's still fresh. Organize her notes, scan any old material that was covered in class and go over the new material for next time--maybe making a rough outline and at least getting a handle on how much there is to do.</p>
<p>Why did she fail the tests? Did she not finish? Did she not know what was to be covered? Was it a matter of not understanding, not studying enough, or not having really mastered the material? Was it the test format that gave her problems--types of questions, how quickly she was expected to work, synthesis questions rather than merely regurgitating facts?</p>
<p>I remember the first advanced lit class (Shakespeare) I took in college. The first test was over Romeo & Juliet, Macbeth & Hamlet, plays I could practically recite. And I got a "D." The only D in my entire school career! I was horrified, but as the professor went over the correct responses, I realized that I had not answered the questions as they were asked. Instead, I had sought to display all my knowledge and talked around the questions. I never made that mistake again and never got anything but an A in that and 3 subsequent courses with the same professor.</p>
<p>Good luck to your daughter. I'm sure she'll get a handle on things. This may be the wake-up call that many freshmen need.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your input...I have told her she needs to study in the library...when ever Italk to her it does sound like a party in her room...Her roommates are not health science majors and have about 1/2 the work.</p>
<p>marigold, I agree she needs my support and I hope she does figure it all out...I have advised her to see her advisor and discuss her concerns...hopefully that will be soon...I don't want her to stop telling me things but it is so hard to let her make these decisions.</p>
<p>I really think she is too worried about her social life too, which I do understand so much...I want her to fit in and feel a part of something, ie her roomies and friends. So hard to explain to her that that will all fall into place.
And you are right about wondering how many failed that exam...I will ask somehow when she brings it up...This is so hard!!!</p>
<p>My daughter and her two friends(engineering major) go to the library every night. Luckily her dorm is close to the library.</p>
<p>It's too late for this approach now but studying the material ahead of time can help quite a bit. During the summer study the material for the fall. During the winter break, study the material for the spring semester. It is one way to shift the workload to reduce pressure during classes.</p>
<p>I think your support of her is key... and bringing your anxieties here instead of to her. It's one of the beauties of cc.</p>
<p>It really <em>is</em> a good sign that she is going for help after the test problems. Some kids resist that.</p>
<p>I found, when DS had a tough time in a course or two in Engineering, that it took some time for him to grasp what was expected in his courses.... vs what he could get by with and do very well in hs. So it may sort itself out that way. She's had the wake-up call; she's responding by seeking help.</p>
<p>And it is challenging when the science/Engineering students are hanging out with the others, with much less courseloads. </p>
<p>I do think it's fine that she goes into town or whatever with her roommate. She does need down time as well as study time. As long as she cares enough to seek the help, that's a good sign for now.</p>
<p>She needs a study group, ASAP, of other health sciences majors. And she can't be embarrassed to ask for help. Emphasize to her that digging her way out of a low grade is going to be hard. Attack this now!</p>
<p>My D also didn't really know how to study in h.s. She is also health sciences, and is figuring things out. It REALLY helps her to study with others from her classes.</p>
<p>^^ Absolutely. There have been other threads on tactics for dealing with academic struggles.</p>
<p>Study groups, study partners, the school's Academic Support resource center (they all have them, under different names). I think a key one is what she is already doing - going to the prof/TA. But a combination usually makes sense. My S even sought out and bought a different textbook for one course - that worked better for him than the assigned text.</p>
<p>I think you need to step back just a bit & let your D figure out how to handle this. It's okay to offer some advice. Encourage her to go to the profs during office hours, to take advantage of tutoring services, to join a study group (or find a "smart kid" to study with), to go to the library (or Starbucks, or the study lounge, or an empty classroom if the school is safe enough for that option). But I really think you need to stop at that. Don't ask her about her test grades. Don't nag her about following through on your advice.</p>
<p>I do have first hand experience with this sort of thing. It was ME who had a rough start in college. I was a 4.0 student with high ACT/SAT scores. Unfortunately, I had no idea how to study. I was scraping the bottom freshman year. By sophomore year, though, I had it figured out & I ended up with an average of over 87 (100 point grading system) by the end of college. Had my mom nagged me, I probably would have just gotten mad & more stressed. I honestly do not think it would have been helpful ... quite the opposite, actually.</p>
<p>Your D must find her own way. Be there as a sounding board, but do not hover. This is not your problem (even though with the financial investment we make we sometimes feel we should be more involved). This is her problem & she must deal with it her way.</p>
<p>BTW, having trouble at the start of freshman year is very common. Fortunately, many do shape up quickly.</p>
<p>Back in the dark ages, I discovered when I got to college that I really did not know how to take notes and study. I had graduated HS with an excellent GPA, but, I guess I was able to do so without having mastered those skills. </p>
<p>Fortunately for me, I knew someone with the skills I needed and she taught me some very simple techniques that saved my posterior.</p>
<p>Many accomplished HS students find themselves in similar circumstances. Our son is in Engineering at a school where he--previously big-fish-little-pond-- is now a medium fish in a BIG pond. He wasn't particularly interested (!!!) in my experience, but he figured out a path that seems to be working better.</p>
<p>Some kids need to bomb a few times before they realize that what worked in HS may not work for them in college.</p>
<p>I imagine that it is hard to see this happening. I don't have good, specific advice to offer, beyond the types of study strategies she probably does not want to hear from you. So, my contribution is to say that this is not unusual, and that she can, with sufficient motivation and open-mindedness, work her way out of her situation.</p>
<p>apf - I think you need to let her work on figuring this college stuff out on her own (with some guidance - not directives). It's still early in the semester and she is making an effort to get help.</p>
<p>Go back and re-read your posts:
"I feel she is not devoting enough time..I have told her she needs to study in the library"..I don't want her to stop telling me things but it is so hard to let her make these decisions."
While we all want our children to succeed, sometimes they learn best when there is a bit of a stuggle.</p>
<p>Thanks so much everyone....beleive it or not I have 3 children, but the first went to college locally and commuted and the 3rd is a hs senior .</p>
<p>I just feel so inept at dealing with this...I know the step back is the best way...the best way to learn is with a little struggle...I know this...I guess it doesn't help that she is very close to me and calls me often to vent about stuff, ex boyfriend calling her again, NOW beleive it or not, sorry he broke it off before they went their seperate ways...</p>
<p>it seems she is sick almost every day...now has a cold but I fear it may be a sinus infection from the symptoms she is reporting...told her to go to medical services, all of a sudden about 8 hours later she says she is better??? I found this out after waiting to hear all day what the doc said after examining her. I'm here worried she has some infection somewhere and she decided she is not that sick after all and didn't go!?</p>
<p>Thank God I do have here to vent...hubby going through his own stuff with his only baby girl gone...sigh!</p>
<p>Well thanks again!</p>
<p>Keep in mind that science course grades are usually curved, so what seems like a failing grade might not be. My S has gotten an A with a raw score in the 60s. Those curved grades drive me crazy.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Her classes are hard. That is a fact. She is right that she needs a break. Life is all about balance, and she is the only one who can master that. Please don't be too quick to assume she is going into town too often. Support her, love her, and back off a little. Let her grow and make her own time management choices. Otherwise, she will quit telling you things.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>So true (I've been on the daughter's side of this problem).</p>
<p>She may be putting in the time but not know how to make it work - all time spent studying is not equal. Tutoring and going to office hours are great ideas, and a lot of students don't take advantage of them - especially the smart ones, because being smart is part of their identity and they are ashamed to have to seek help. If her school has a counseling/student support center, they may be able to help her with effective study strategies, so that she sees more results from the time she puts in.</p>
<p>She may also be feeling like she's too dumb to save (a common problem for students who are being challenged for the first time, and especially for women in sci/eng, who may have internalized society's beliefs about women in science), and be giving up as a result - putting in the time, perhaps, but not believing that she can do it and therefore not getting results. The counseling center would be helpful for that, too.</p>
<p>Woud she consider dropping some class? My D (pre-med - sophmore) is taking similar classes. When she got a job at school, she dropped class and planning to take it in a summer at home. However, it is for her minor. D. mentioned that they were told that taking classes for major at different school is not treated favorable by Med. school admission.</p>
<p>For sure academic help is widely available from professors and their assistants. Your D. needs to seek help and make sure that she is not falling behind in understanding of material.<br>
I completely disagree that a girl should be intimidated by science because of her gender. At my D. HS, girls were more into studies than boys with the strongest subjects being math and science. Top few graduates were consistently girls for several years. Almost all top girls became pre-meds.</p>