How to help my parents to have the right idea of the college application process?

<p>This is a big issue for me. I'm an international, first in my immediate family to go to a college in the US. Both parents went to college in my country (Nigeria, though my dad did post graduate at Imperial College). They're unfamiliar with the way things really are, for instance:</p>

<p>"Yeah, there are good schools that aren't Ivy League, but Ivy League is the best always." (I was shocked and saddened when they said that Vanderbilt and University of Southern Cali aren't spectacular schools.)</p>

<p>"Practice for the SAT more, since more people take it and it's more well known." (I really don't like the SAT)</p>

<p>I dont think they realize how much competition I'm up against for these schools they want me to go to, and I want to go to, especially in extracurriculars. There a lot of things I want to do in that area, actually, but In this country my resources are limited (no after school clubs, varsity sports, volunteering). </p>

<p>I have to get them to 'wake up' before I can get started on anything, and I cant do this on my own because I'm their child and they're the parents. Sure they'd hear me but listening is another issue, can I get some articles, or some voices here that I can email to them (about importance of extracurriculars and leadership, their misconception of the Ivy League, competition, importance of prestige, and the fact that the SAT isnt better)</p>

<p>I need you parents to help me please! And hopefully, mine will join here soon once this has been kick started.</p>

<p>Will your parents control to which schools you apply?</p>

<p>To maximize your acceptance chances at the most schools, you should take the SAT.</p>

<p>

No, the ACT is accepted virtually everywhere and there is no advantage to taking the SAT if you prefer the ACT. You can easily research this and show your parents the results.</p>

<p>Rather than try to educate your parents about the quality and competitiveness of various colleges, it may be easier to just apply to a few Ivies along with other options. Their opinions won’t matter when your actual acceptances and rejections arrive.</p>

<p>^ The problem is with the schools that say they prefer the SAT (check the Common Data Set); your chances are hurt (not destroyed!) at these schools by not submitting SAT.</p>

<p>Use your computer to find sites about the college admissions process, or buy books online (Amazon and Barnes and Noble will have US colleges books) if you can’t get them locally. Other posters hopefully can give you good titles. Send links to your parents.</p>

<p>I agree that you should take the SAT as well as the ACT. Take the ACT if you think your scores will be better than on the SAT. You need to put up with things in life that you dislike.</p>

<p>Put a few colleges on your list to please your parents but also apply to some of the excellent non Ivy schools. The best schools depend on your proposed major. Engineering and Computer Science programs may be much better at other than Ivy schools, including some top public-state flagship schools. You should have some “lesser” schools on your list in case all of the elite schools reject you. </p>

<p>Do not worry too much about the extracurriculars- admissions people will know Nigeria doesn’t operate the way the US does. Definitely study for the ACT and SAT- and the language exam. Academics trump activities.</p>

<p>You need to consider where in the US you would thrive, ie which factors are the best fit for you. The weather can pose many challenges. Large cities or rural college towns are another issue. Your parents need to learn that the Ivy League stands for a sports conference, not all schools in it are as good as some not in it. Perhaps you can locate the schools where respected Nigerians have gone.</p>

<p>Your parents have to learn that prestige in college name is far less important than being at a school with good programs and support for you. Find top ten/twenty lists of grad schools in fields that you are considering. Your parents might be surprised to find that some of the schools they prize don’t make the list or are ranked much lower than some other schools.</p>

<p>Finally- if you truly are a contender for the elite US schools you need to be able to do well on the SAT. Get over your dislike of the test (due to your insecurities about the format?).</p>

<p>I doubt your parents will listen so you need to identify the schools you should and want to apply to and make sure that happens. That is what makes the Common App so great. I suggest you prepare whatever arguments are necessary to justify sending information to those schools - e.g., backup plan just in case you don’t get into Harvard - and not worry much about changing your parents’ minds. My guess is they understand more than they let on but they don’t want you to think they’re lowering expectations for you. That is common; lots of parents can admit reality to themselves but not to their kids. They also may have a lot of hope or they may want you to feel pressure because they believe that is good for you.</p>

<p>As I said, doing the apps is easy. The important thing is paying the fees to get the apps considered. If that’s an issue, you need to work on that. Say for example you cut down the list of schools where you believe you have less chance and add a few just-in-case schools. That could be a tough conversation. </p>

<p>I assume you live in the US. If so, your college counsellor could be a help. But again, parents don’t always want to hear it.</p>

<p>I had the same problem with my parents and I couldn’t talk to them about it because it would always end up in an argument. I wrote them a letter describing everything about how the process works and how I’m on top of my schedule and they understand a bit more now.</p>

<p>Also, you can try scheduling an appointment with your high school counselor and ask if you can bring your parents. Your high school counselor will explain everything to them.</p>

<p>

What you “like” is sort of beside the point. If you are truly unable to do the SAT but could do extremely well on the ACT, then take the latter test. Otherwise, welcome to being an adult: you spend a lot of time jumping through hoops that you don’t really like jumping through, simply because you need to.</p>

<p>A Nigerian HS counselor may not be sufficiently familiar with how U.S. college admissions work, hence tosin’s request for help.</p>

<p>Sit down with your parents, and read through everything at <a href=“https://www.educationusa.info/[/url]”>https://www.educationusa.info/&lt;/a&gt; Although the website is designed for international students who are applying from outside the US, much of the information is very useful for parents like yours who were educated in other countries, and who are not very familiar with the system here.</p>

<p>Every single college and university in the US that requires a standardized admissions exam accepts BOTH the ACT and the SAT for that purpose. You really, truly can take either one. However, some will require SAT II exams in addition to the general ACT/SAT, some will require the ACT with writing if the student takes the ACT instead of the SAT, and some will not require any SAT II exams if the student takes the ACT. You really do have to check each website carefully. For a lot of fun reading on this topic, see [The</a> National Center for Fair & Open Testing | FairTest](<a href=“http://www.fairtest.org/]The”>http://www.fairtest.org/) </p>

<p>As you know, immigrant parents have lots of very special issues with life in the new country. Look around you for adults who do have a solid handle on the factors that affect US college admissions, and try to find at least one of them who can help your parents work their way through their issues. Easier said than done I know, but maybe there is someone from work/church/school who can help you out.</p>

<p>Lastly, while your parents may have very clear notions about “best” colleges/universities, they may be completely ignorant of the financial aspects. Talk with them about just exactly how much they are ready, willing, and able to pay for your education each year, and under what conditions. For example, they may be willing to mortgage your family home for Harvard, but not be willing to pay one cent toward Big State U. Or, they may have a set figure. Or, they may not have thought about this at all. Ask them to sit down with their tax and other financial information, and run the Net Price Calculators at all of the colleges/universities on their lists and on your list. All of you need to know now what each of those places is likely to cost.</p>

<p>Wishing you all the best!</p>

<p>Thank you all for your help! </p>

<p>Just to clarify, I know all the test requirements but simply feel more comfortable with the ACT, and I’ve been practicing generally. I don’t want to waste too much time (and money) in the actual tests.</p>

<p>I live in Nigeria (as in my location), we don’t have Guidance Counselors (unless you’re closer with a knowledgeable teacher). </p>

<p>There are still some wrinkles to be ironed, but I have an idea of where to start now.</p>

<p>Back when my son and I were researching what schools might interest him, we found many that “preferred” on standardized test over another. But as we looked deeper, we found in practice, they all had conversion charts and did not devalue one or the other. Here, I advise you take both and afterward, submit the results of the better one regardless of school preference.</p>

<p>“I live in Nigeria”</p>

<p>OK. That means that you do indeed need to read through everything at the EducationUSA website. Then you need to get in touch with the counselors at the advising center closest to where you live. <a href=“https://www.educationusa.info/Nigeria[/url]”>https://www.educationusa.info/Nigeria&lt;/a&gt; They are expert at helping students in your country find good places to study here, and they have lots of experience explaining things to Nigerian parents!</p>

<p>The ACT vs. SAT preference some schools have stem the test concepts; ACT tests knowledge, SAT tests skills.</p>

<p>Here’s a link to another site that will be helpful. [eduPASS:</a> The SmartStudent Guide to Studying in the USA](<a href=“http://www.edupass.org/]eduPASS:”>http://www.edupass.org/)</p>

<p>Additionally, while everyone complains about USNews ranking of colleges, for convincing your parents that there are other top schools in the US, it could be very useful.
[National</a> University Rankings | Top National Universities | US News Best Colleges](<a href=“http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/rankings/national-universities?int=a557e6]National”>http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/rankings/national-universities?int=a557e6)</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>