Flip your search. Don’t look at what schools you want to go to, look at schools that give good merit aid for your situation, be it merit aid for your grades, sports, talents (art, music, acting). You may find a school you never considered that is just right for you.
If you like Notre Dame, have it be your reach but as mentioned above, most of the aid is awarded based on need (and you may qualify, we don’t know). Look at some schools that will offer you merit. Those you listed might. Find out if your state offers any grants for residents.
You need to educate your parents about student debt. I was like your mother and didn’t want my kids to take out any loans, but have since decided that taking only the Stafford loans (limited to $5,500 your first year) aren’t horrible. You can’t file FAFSA yet, but you can run the Net Price Calculators (NPC) for the schools you are interested in. There is one on the website of each college, and you’ll need to know some of the financials of your parents so it is best if you fill it out together. That will help your parents understand college finances too, as the NPC generates how much the college will cost, how much aid you are likely to get, and how much your family will either have to pay or borrow.