<p>Hi there! I'm new to these forums. I haven't been around the forums that often so if I overlooked something, please tell me!</p>
<p>So, I've had my share of awful experiences. Some of these include me being diagnosed with certain medical disorders, having long periods of depression, father's death, mother being fired, mother having cancer, etc. There's so much that listing it out seems like an essay in itself. And that's exactly what I've been doing for my essay. Listing and describing each experience. The problem is, when I do this, it sounds like a pity party. </p>
<p>I am also aware that adversity essays are supposed to show how you overcame something and how it made you a better person.</p>
<p>My GPA right now is a 3.2. My class rank is top ~50%. The only thing that looks good is that I took as much AP/honors I could take at my school, and I was in the IB program, but I dropped out of IB the second semester (medication-induced depression) and I didn't get the credit for a couple AP classes. </p>
<p>I need to write an excellent essay for my application because I have struggled so much in high school, and for obvious reasons. Please help!</p>
<p>There’s no one easy way to write a good essay. I’d recommend you write one, pouring your heart and soul into it, and then go back and edit it. Feel free to PM me, and I’ll give you abt tips you need. :)</p>
<p>I’m actually in a similar situation as you are. I’m a first generation college student, inner city schools, unsafe neighborhood, family members to take care. My strategy for my essay(first draft completed yesterday) is to not to make my “adversity” the focus of my essay, but to address it when it’s relevant. I don’t know what other people think about this though, I’ve heard some people say that it’s good to make it the focus. </p>
<p>I’d be happy to look over your essay when you write it if you’d like.</p>
<p>If you list out multiple adversities, then it IS a pity party. It doesn’t matter how you slice it - you’ll sound like you’re begging for empathy. If you want to write a central story on your mother’s cancer and subtly throw in the fact that she also got laid off from her job, that’d be okay. If you want to give a short summary to your background, and then spend the majority of your time describing how you adapted, that’d be better.</p>
<p>But right now, it sounds like you’re trying to create the world’s biggest excuse as to why you aren’t at the top of your class. Don’t do that. It’s not a healthy attitude, and it won’t win over your audience. Make sure you’ve identified some schools that match your academic profile and ground your expectations. </p>
<p>I’ve worked with both inner and wealthy city students from incredibly difficult backgrounds, and sent a good few to top 20 universities. A trend among the successful ones is that they didn’t focus on what held them down. In fact, many barely alluded to their circumstances. </p>
<p>Your attitude can be your biggest asset or your biggest crutch. Make sure you’re approaching this from the right angle.</p>
<p>I’m having the same problem, I don’t want my essay to sound like that either. But I am really confused on how to avoid focusing on the negative. (im in the same boat as you except my sister died and my mom is going through depression I took a bunch of AP classes and my un weighted is a 3.44 >.<)</p>