<p>My first semester at UCB has been depressing and miserable. I regret to say that I have completed my first semester without making a single, trustworthy acquaintance. I remember being so confined and alone, that I simple sat down and cried at times. My time at UCB has been miserable, partly because of this lack of companionship.</p>
<p>As you may have expected, I am very shy, and not an outgoing type of person. I am a Computer Science major. Are there some steps I could take, some clubs I could join, to make this misery more bearable next semester? How do I make friends? I had a couple of best friends back in high school, but they went onto other colleges. Now I have no one.</p>
<p>Here’s what I did. Go to the dining commons, find someone that you recognize, and say “hey, aren’t you from my (CS61A) discussion?” and let it flow from there. With some luck, you might know a group of people who come ‘attached’ with that person and get to know even more people.</p>
<p>One thing for sure, you gotta make yourself exposed and willing to ask first.</p>
<ol>
<li>get off this forum</li>
<li>shower(with soap) and put on a clean shirt</li>
<li>Stop being shy and talk to people</li>
<li>Don’t sound negative or complain or be condescending</li>
<li>Realize that not every one likes CS, anime, LoL, etc. Know your audience</li>
<li>Get their phone number and do cool stuff with them </li>
<li>???</li>
<li>Profit</li>
</ol>
<p>Or read Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”</p>
<p>Or just code up the AI for a girlfriend/friend.</p>
<p>Or swipe me into crossroads and I’ll be yo friend.</p>
<p>Seriously there are a ton of ways. I also advise to join a club that does something you are passionate about. Then it is easier to connect over mutual interests. Its harder to be friends with a Frat guy if you don’t like drinking, meeting girls, and going to the gym.</p>
<p>Hi , yes, yes, there is a club for you and it even looks good on future job
resumes. It’s called the ACM. Student member ship is under $20/ yr. Association of Computing Machinery. Sounds so official, doesn’t it? It’s a professional organization. Ok. non-computer geeks need to stop reading here, because the rest is top secret.</p>
<p>You will find friends here. AES is another group, they usually just hold barbecues but sometimes they sneak beer (just a few cans) and try to make each other laugh so they snort it out their nose. Yeah, great times.</p>
<p>Does your campus have a Dumbledore’s Army or other Hogworts club? Most major schools have Quidditch teams. I love a good Quidditch match, heck, I’ll take a poor one if the snitch is funny.</p>
<p>Simple solution, go befriend the other non-outgoing CS folks. Sit in the same area in your CS lectures/discussions, make friends with the people around you. If you get group/partner projects, be sure to team up with someone, even if you don’t really know them. Try going to some of the Hackers at Berkeley or CSUA events, they both do neat/fun things.</p>
<p>Or go visit with someone else who’s alone at crossroads, I’m sure some of them would love a bit of company too (bonus points if they’ve got a box/google shirt).</p>
<p>There’s quite a few Christian fellowship groups on campus (A2f, Koinonia, Kairos, etc.) that foster a lot of social interaction and friendships. I can say this from experience. If you don’t consider yourself Christian that’s OK; I wasn’t either.</p>
<p>^ I would not recommend that, especially if you are not Christian. I think its dumb that these kids join a Christian fellowship for the community rather than for religious reasons. They may all be nice, but if you don’t think and act the same way they do then you are in for a big let down from all these “friends”. </p>
<p>I get a really strong cult vibe from those fellowships that XCyoungX mentioned and those are considered to be on the conservative end by other Christian groups. I feel that they prey on the insecure to join them.</p>
<p>But if you see yourself as being a conservative Christian, GO FoR it.</p>
<p>To respond to GeneralWisdom point-by-point: </p>
<p>GeneralWisdom, I agree that if you’re a hardcore atheist then joining one of the groups I mentioned could be awkward. So yes, the assumption is that the OP is open-minded to people who happen to have religious beliefs.</p>
<p>The community is a big part of it, even for people who have considered themselves Christians their whole lives. We’re still talking about college students here, not monks. </p>
<p>Considered “conservative end” by what standards exactly? I also don’t see where you’re coming from with “cult vibe.” Once again, we’re talking about college students here. As far as religious meetings go these groups host a short bible study and church service once a week (if you can make it), and then everybody gets on with their lives. How is that cult-like compared to “other Christian groups?”</p>
<p>I was a business (and math) my first year and found myself having tons of people to talk to, but no real friends at all. It was pretty awful in retrospect, but I never really thought of it like that. I made a huge jump and decided to turn CS (trying for EECS) and math, and found that I got along with everyone a lot more and I actually enjoyed going to class and working on things with people (are you enjoying the material so far? Try other classes to see if it’s really your thing. I was amazed by how much I loved the people in the major and the material, as opposed to biz.)</p>
<p>I also joined the archery club (absolutely no prior experience), and I met so many new (just plain random) people that I’m pretty close to now. This is coming from someone who has really never had “real friends” before and it’s been amazing! I really recommend joining a random club - anything that makes you go “hmm…that seems kinda cool.” In fact, I you could also try coming to archery beginner sessions the first or second week of next semester! See how you like it? There are a good number of engineers there too haha and archery really attracts a …unique(?) group of people.</p>