This past semester was my first at college, and to be honest it was not great. I came into the semester already disappointed that I was going to that school, since the school I’d actually wanted to go to was way too expensive. On top of that I was suffering from mild depression and my high school boyfriend had just broken up with me, which took me the longest time to get over. I thought my roommate and I would be friends but no matter how hard I tried to be friendly and reach out to her, she was very cold and standoffish, and now we don’t talk at all unless we need to. I was pretty social and outgoing in high school but I had a lot of difficulty making friends here, and as the semester progressed I found myself not wanting to leave my room since it was too much energy to go out and socialize. I also got sick midway through, so I missed a LOT of classes and it affected my grades, and afterwards I tried to dig myself out of that hole but it was really discouraging realizing that even though I spent the vast majority of my time studying I wasn’t going to get the grades I wanted this semester, and after a while I had no motivation and that made them even worse. I ended with a 2.7 GPA, having failed my hardest class (even though I did okay, but not great, in every other class), and I feel awful.
Towards the end of the semester things started to get a lot better emotionally. I started out wanting to be anywhere but the school I was in, but I realized I love it here and I would never want to go anywhere else. Also I definitely had some really fun times this semester, but the bad outweighed the good and it was mostly my fault.
I’m in a much better place now, I’ve been trying my hardest to stay positive and I’m much happier now. I also got back with my boyfriend recently. The past few months were probably the lowest point of my life, and I’m definitely not at that point anymore. I’m also retaking the class I failed under freshman forgiveness and I’m resolved to do much better academically. I’m just worried that maybe it’s too late to make friends, that because I was so depressed last semester that maybe I missed my chance. I feel like everyone around me was having the time of their lives, while I was mostly in my room alone studying or sick. Anyone have any advice on how to make this semester much better than the last?
- See a college counselor regularly at the start of the next semester. As the semester progresses, you're counselor will let you know whether or not he/she feels you'll need to continue meeting regularly (or at all). This is a decision you'll make together, but I strongly recommend you see one at least to start off.
- Get enough sleep and exercise regularly. A large part of ones mood is affected by these two things.
- GET ENOUGH SLEEP. Yes, it was necessary to type this twice. 7-9 hours every night. Your brain won't work even close to optimally ( in terms of memorization, problem solving, etc.), when you're sleep deprived. Instead of working on a paper for 4 hours straight going into 1 am, go to bed early and finish it the next day.
- Work/study on the weekends if you need to.
5a. Time management. Read/ watch Randy Pausch’s work on time management before the semester begins. Implement these tools during the semester. Three time management tips: make a plan for the week and for the day. Don’t waste time (I.e. use your time between classes wisely). PRIORITIZE. You have a ten page paper that’s worth only 5% of your grade? Don’t spend ten hours on it. Set a timer for two hours. Work on that paper until the timer dings. Take a short break and then get your important work done. IF you have time left over, go back to that paper.
5b. Interrelated with the previous tip. Take breaks when your study!! For the vast majority of people, not taking breaks is actually counterproductive. Find what length of break is optimal for you. Every brain is different. Some people work well with 40 mins of studying, followed by a 10 minute break. Other people don’t get mentally tired as fast and get more done with 70 mins of studying and a 15ish minute break. As I said, experiment with different break to study lengths.
- Use rate my professor. Six classes with professors that have heavy workloads can kill you. If only a small number of people rated the professor, obviously take that into consideration.
- If you're shy like me, join clubs (but manage your time). Its a great way to meet new friends.
- Last, always try to maintain a positive attitude and not overstress. Easier said then done, I know, haha. Try to always be aware of your own thoughts and if you find yourself saying something negative about yourselfers, slap yourself. Seriously ! :P. If you look at people who that are extremely successful, a large part of their success just comes from an unwavering belief in themself -- that they can handle any obstacle thrown at them. Believe in yourself!!!
P.s.
Typing on my phone , so please ignore any spelling errors.
Try to relax. It was your first semester; I don’t know anyone whose best semester was their first. It’s a rough transition even without the stuff you were going through.
You’ll have plenty of opportunities to meet people and make friends. Every time you move dorms, switch classes, join a new club, etc. you’ll meet more. It’s not like high school where people stick with the same group starting from freshman year. You’d be surprised how many people are going through a similar situation as you (look around this part of the forum and you’ll see them).
Now that you’re happier and more positive you’ll be more motivated for academics. However, when things begin to go badly in your social life try to compartmentalize. Remember why you’re in college and don’t let drama keep you from achieving what you want in life.
Honestly, it seems like many of your concerns will take care of themselves over time as you adapt and develop habits better suited for college. You just need to find your groove again.