My parents and my school counsellor made this decision, and now it's 2 weeks before the ddl so they won't compromise
I hate my ED university, its undergrad edu, its urban setting as well as the general atmosphere there
I have a dream school where there is no ED
My test scores are high, and I HAVE prepared a strong resume. Honestly I am VERY likely to be addmited by my ED!!!
:((
So I wanna kill my ED without being noticed by my parents and counsellor.
I have had a few thoughts but no perfect plan yet:
Write BAD supplements
( but my parents and counsellor will read them through and might force me to re-write)
Email the AO of my ED college and tell him I don't wanna be considered
(but it's hard for AO to have my identity verified and i'm not sure whether this violates the ED Rules. The AO might report me and put me into the BLACK LIST of the US Higher Education System!)
3.Your advice
Help me! It's URGENT
It is totally stupid to apply to a school ED that you do not want to go. You can withdraw your application before the decision, however, you should talk to your parent and your GC. They cannot make the decision for you as you still need to sign the form. It still sounds strange for the whole thing.
These posts come up every year. Most people will respond that you shouldn’t go behind your parents’ back. You should ask them why they want you to go to this school. Have a frank discussion and ask if it’s necessary for financial reasons. Explain calmly and logically why you prefer the other school. Assuming it’s not a financial decision, ask if there any compelling reason you shouldn’t go to the school you like.
If you establish that there are truly no compelling reasons they want you to go to the school of their choice, (be honest), then I don’t see a legitimate reason why you can’t tell your counselor the truth. There is nothing in it for the counselor for you to go to this college. I am never a fan of a kid being forced to go to a college they have no desire to attend. If you do contact the AO and explain that you were forced to apply, you are not going to be blacklisted, etc… They want to admit people who actually want to attend. But what will the consequences be with your family? Before you make a decision, you need to be certain that going against their wishes isn’t goin to result in serious consequences for you. It might be better to go to the college of their choosing than no college at all.
I’d take a shot at talking to your GC alone. Your parents may end up mad at you, but GCs aren’t usually in the business of helping parents force their kids to sign ED agreements.
Be honest and assert yourself. Backhanded sabotage of your application is not a good way to design your future. Come up with an alternative plan with colleges you like and present it to them–perhaps they will be more likely to agree if they see a well-planned alternative. Good luck–and be brave!
Please talk to your parent, they’ll understand. My kid told me just a couple of days ago that he wouldn’t do ED to a school that we had agreed on a long time ago. I assume he went through the struggles you are having right now. I respected his opinion and he also made an compromise to add one more safe school in his list, and informed his GC. It’s very hard to change school list at this late time, but we did it. He may end up not going to the school I wished him he would, but in the end it is his life, and he is so determined… So you are not alone, talk to your parents and see if you may convince them. If you can convince your parent, you may also capable to convince your dream school that you deserve to study there.
There is no higher education blacklist for withdrawing an ED application. There is an informal one for making sure you didn’t break the ED rules, but withdrawing an application before the deadline will not get you on it. (There are some schools that check their ED acceptances against a likely competitor’s acceptances to make sure the same person is not on more than one school’s list.)
Please try to talk to your counselor and/or your parents, as it will be healthier for your relationship in the long run. If you have to talk to the admissions office as a last ditch option to withdraw your application, you can.
If your dream school did not exist, would you still hate your parents’ choice?
Do you have reasonable expectations that you would be admissible at your dream school? If you apply there RD and don’t get in, do you have other places on your list where you are guaranteed admission that you do like better than your parents’ choice?
Will you need financial aid? What is your parents’ plan if you get in ED and the money doesn’t work out?
I really appreiciate your reply. It’s not at all for financial reason. My ED choice seems to be the MOST expensive US college, and my dream school is like half price. My parents’ point is that I should go to a TOP school. Both my ED and dream schools are top-ranking, but my dream school is in UK so there is no ED. And they made the choice. My counsellor just agreed with my parents. They care about nothing except ranking.
And for the consequences. This is why I post here. I wanna kill my ED app without being noticed, so that I won’t risk losing the financial support. If it seems that I get denied just because I am not good enough, the school is selective…etc, nobody will even get mad at me.
Is it OK, if I don’t withdraw my app and just e-mail my AO to explain the situation after submitting my ED?
Oh, you are such an understanding mom!!!
But in my culture disagreeing with my parents is almost equivalent to beating one’s parents in US :(( And I might lose their financial support.
Now I am thinking that you might have this problem in the future: your parents force you to merry someone who they like meanwhile you have already had a girl friend. I wonder how you are going to solve that problem if you aren’t going to solve this one. Watch some Korean soap opera might help you find the solution for both, I hope.
Thx! But is “don’t wannat be considered” just a different way of saying “withdraw my app”?(I’m not native speaker so cant quite tell the diference…) If I say “withdraw my app” in the email, do I really need to remove my ED app in Common Application system?
And I have just come up with a brilliant idea: applying to the Financial Aid!
First of all this might cripple my chance of being admitted.
Second, if my ED school says no to my financial aid app but addmits me, is it OK for me to decline the ED offer as well by refering to my financial aid app and saying that I just can’t afford?
You are an international applicant to Columbia, right? A school with a 6% admission rate, 15% of whom are international, I think you really don’t need to to worry a great deal about admission, period.
Try your best to get into the ED school. If you then don’t want to go, turn it down and take a gap year. Your parents will know you are serious about not going to school if you can’t go where you want to go, and you’ll know if they are serious about only paying for the ED school.