<p>In the past few weeks, I've been gettting a crazy number of calls from different colleges, some of which are from my top choices. However, there have been ones from colleges I have never heard from, or never want to attend (community colleges). When the coach calls, how should I break it to them that I'm not interested? Or should I still say I'm interested until I commit to a college and then break it to them?</p>
<p>I'm doing my best to cast a wide net, but there are just some colleges I really am not interested in.</p>
<p>I think that you have to be mindful that there is a community of coaches that communicate with each other about recruits. However, if you did not initiate contact and have absolutely no interest in the school, I think it best to not lead them on and politely say something to the effect of " thank you for your interest, but I’m considering other schools at this time".</p>
<p>I’m expecting a call from a college that I’m not really interested in pretty soon. At school today one of the new teachers came up to me and was like “hey my coach at ____ would like to talk to you about track. Can I get your number so I can give it to him?” So TECHNICALLY I was the one who initiated contact by agreeing to give out my number to him…but I felt as if I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t want to be rude and say “no”
What should I say?</p>
<p>I agree about not leading a coach on if you are not interested, but it doesn’t hurt to learn more about a school and program you have not researched. My daughter is also getting lots of calls and emails from schools she is not interested in. It is a lot to handle at an already busy time, but it is a part of the process.</p>
<p>My daughter had to say “thanks but no thanks” to something like 25-30 schools - and they represented a wide range of institutions. Some huge Div. 1 schools to NESCACs, and everything inbetween, it seemed. She answered every email pretty quickly, in fairness to other potential recruits, and if the school was Div. 3, she wrote that at this time, she is pursuing being a part of a Div. 1 program, but if that should change, she would be sure to let them know. For Div. 1 programs at huge schools, she said that she was interested in a smaller school, and at schools that might have seemed like a possible match in size and academics, but she really wasn’t interested, she wrote that she didn’t feel the school would be the right fit for her. Almost every single coach wrote back, thanking her for getting back to them and to please let them know if anything changes. I know that the speedy and polite responses were genuinely appreciated - and good too, because then neither you nor the coaches of these schools are wasting time. There is surely someone else out there who would love that coach’s attention - do that unknown person and the coach a favor! Good luck with it all :)</p>
<p>Also, make sure to say if the school does not have the major you are interested in or is geographically not for you. Those are not things a coach can control and as such are not taken as personally as other reasons. I agree that the quicker the better if there is NO chance you are interested. But just remember, it is a small circle of coaches and they do talk to each other, so a reason you give to one coach may make it back to another through word of mouth.</p>
<p>These coaches aren’t going to have hurt feelings. Like you, they are just trying to figure out who’s on their short list. It’s OK to be brief and direct. “Thanks but this isn’t the state, league, school I want.” You don’t have to give any reason at all, if you don’t want to. Just save everyone some time and communicate promptly.</p>
<p>^^ It’s true
and I think the coaches have appreciated that kiddo has responded yes or no as far as interest in each school/program.
Would be nice if ALL coaches were as good as THEY hoped to students to be when it comes to communicating… :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Hey Jumper, enjoy your visit - and remember, they are having you out because you have skills that can help their team. They want to make a good impression on you, too.</p>
<p>Thanks for the assurances! Haha I will need some advice…</p>
<p>OH GOD, didn’t have the heart to say “no don’t talk to me anymore about college X” again…I’m a terrible person. Here’s what happened: Got a call, coach wanted me to tell him what I know about College X, what major I’m looking at, out of state or in state, told me about the program, told me “Exellent! We have your major!” and “College X is out of state, you will like the program” and ask if he can call back. I said sure. What am I suppose to say to that? “No you may not call me ever again, I am not interested, but thanks” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM NOT TRYING TO LEAD THEM ON!!!</p>
<p>Jumper101 - I feel for you! It is SO much harder to say “no thanks” in an email than on the telephone - no fun at all…Maybe you then find the coach’s email on his school’s website, and send a followup email, saying thanks for the phone call, but you have decided not to pursue this avenue - then hopefully he won’t call back?!</p>
<p>Jumper, IMO its OK to email this coach and thank him for the time he’s taken to answer your questions, but that you are moving in a different direction with the schools you want to pursue. If he calls again, just reiterate that you’re really not interested any more. Coaches understand that new opportunities present themselves almost daily for student athletes going through recruiting, and that they constantly revising their lists as they learn more about schools, get a call from a school they thought was out of their reach, and so on. It’s OK to say no.</p>
<p>Best wishes on your dream school visit. Just be sincere about your interest. No one expects a 17 year old to be completely polished :)</p>
<p>I just feel like such a bad person for saying “no.”
And I eventually have to “no” to all but one college…which makes it twice as hard, especially when a coach has spent so much time communicating with me/arranging stuff for me to come over. That’s part of the reason why my dad keeps on saying to me “go to ______, they have kept in contact you since junior year, spent a lot of time on you, genuinely wants you on the team.” I understand what my dad is saying but this schools isn’t my top choice…</p>
<p>Thanks, I’m staying two nights…is that two long? I asked the coach how long these visits are and said around two nights so I’m taking his word haha…</p>
<p>Two nights sounds right - don’t know if your sport is NCAA, but their rule is no more than 48 hours on the OV. All the OVs my daughter has are 2 nights, although some people come in for just one night if that is all their schedule allows. </p>
<p>I totally understand your anguish over saying “no”, particularly to the coach who has been involved the longest in your recruiting process. HOWEVER, you must remember that this is essentially a business - very hard to remember, I know…! Marketing is a big part of the coach’s job. You are absolutely not the first person to say “no” who has developed a relationship with this coach, and you are absolutely not the last recruit who will.</p>
<p>My son would agree wtih you - saying “no” to 8 schools was VERY hard for him, especially since he decided not to join the team at the school he ended up attending! You have to do what is right for YOU. It will be hard, but you have to stand firm! The coaches were all very understanding. One, in particular, was SO kind, and told him if he ever changed his mind and wanted to attend that school, he would be welcome! Very classy. In our experience, the coaches all liked their jobs and liked encouraging young people to do what was right for them. The coach doesn’t want to end up with kids who should be at a different school, right?</p>
<p>your local coach should help you on your answers to unexpected opportunities… but in the interim, if I were you…or your parents, I would start practicing how to say “thanks, but no thanks” now… yes many are really nice…and you don’t want to be rude, but it is really rude to lead someone on…</p>
<p>agree with others who say make an effort to learn more if it is a school or program you know nothing about… but if it is a community college and you definitely want a 4 yr program, then master how to say “thank you, but at this time I am focusing on several other schools that are interesting to me and they are interested in me… can I have your contact info should things change? when is the latest I can reach out to you should my interests change?” Practice your words…try them on your parents, your coach, your significant other… so that the first time you say them to a coach is NOT the first time you are saying them… </p>
<p>@maineparent: “and you don’t want to be rude, but it is really rude to lead someone on…”
Try telling this to many coaches. As a recruit, if a coach is honest with me about desirability, admissions, etc, then I would be honest with them. But with the incredible ambiguity displayed by their statements, I have to be cautious instead of putting all of my eggs in one basket, and ultimately being left with no options. It’s definitely a double-edged sword.</p>
<p>I understand your situation and appreciate that you want to do the right thing! As you are aware, being polite is most important. The conversation you have with a coach today may well be someone you’ll run into in the future. Consider every conversation an “investment” in your athletic career. Perhaps a coach you turn down today might accept a job at your future school!! You never know. Second, be honest. Most coaches know that kids have many choices and early calls are just “feelers” to determine your interest, if any. If you are absolutely positive that you will not EVER consider his/her school, tell them and give them a reason that they can understand. For example, a school in upstate New York calls and wants to invite you to the school for an official interview. If you know that you are NEVER going to go to school in NY, say " Thanks so much for your interest in me Coach’s Name, but I am focusing my efforts on colleges located in the Southeast right now. If I should change my mind, I’ll be more than happy to give you a call. In addition, try to build a relationship…if you have a teammate that would love to play for this school, you might offer to make that introduction…“By the way, have you considered, John Smith or Sarah Smith for the team? I know your school is high on her list and she really wants to play for a Division I school…could I pass along her name or even give you her information now?” Suddenly, you are way ahead of any other kid he has spoken to…and when he hangs up he will be impressed with your mature and professional referral! College sports are a small world, and whenever you speak with anyone in this world, make sure its positive and polite! As mentioned, coaches do move around and talk with one another and share names, etc. Get people talking favorably about YOU!!</p>