<p>DD will be leaving a week from today for a college that is over a thousand miles away from home. Both of her younger siblings are very close to her, especially the youngest (8 years old). I would appreciate any advice on how to deal with pre-departure, settling-in (we are going to all go to settle her into her dorm), and post-departure issues.</p>
<p>have the older sister give something of hers for the younger siblings to keep safe- a sweatshirt, a stuffed animal, something the sibling can use while sister is away</p>
<p>give older sibling some postcards, already stamped- silly ones that she can just drop in the mail</p>
<p>have siblings put together fun care packages, they have the 8 dollar shipment boxes at the USPS, so not too large, but they can help get little things and remember what big sis might like</p>
<p>if sis can, set up a time on sundays for a short phone call, if you have a phone with a speaker, use that, it doesn't have to be every Sunday ,but as often as possible, even 3 minutes can be great for the kids</p>
<p>once in a while, they can send her a drawing or something</p>
<p>or you can help them email pictures</p>
<p>This has been the part of ZG going away that I hadn't anticipated to be as bad as it has. We knew that our 8 year old would miss her and talked to him about it, got him his own screen name, the whole bit, and he is still very sad. I think he'll be ok, though. The 15 year old is overwhelmed with sadness and has been crying since we got to the school on Friday.</p>
<p>Big sister can send them presents, too -- any of the gimmicky stuff from the campus store should do as long as it has the name of the college on it.</p>
<p>MSMDad:</p>
<p>Check your PMs</p>
<p>I am going to answer from two prespectives-
when my older child left home for college, the younger one couldn't have been happier. She designated his room as her den and is camped out in same every single moment that he is not home from school. But then they are close in age.</p>
<p>Now, when I left home for college to an opposite coast, my little sister who was eight years old at the time, was upset. More upset than I realized when I boarded that plane. I will never forget the first letter I received from her as I was 18 and eager to start a new life, of course she wrote first.
She sent me a $1.00. In her own handwriting, she told me about her day at school and after school and said, "Here is a $1.00. I know you will need it. College is expensive".
I will never forget this.
It was then I realized how much I, the big sister was missed.
I agree. Send letters, pictures, and $1.00 (probably should make it at least $5.00 considering inflation).</p>
<p>My daughters are five years apart, and both have been going away to summer camps for many years. With the dawn of IM and cell phones, it seems a new dynamic has formed. They call each other. Yep, this summer we didn't hear anything from older daughter the entire week she was at Orientation. We took my younger one out to dinner for her 13th birthday, and in the midst of discussing her day she mentioned something her older sister did that day. I wondered how she knew that. It seemed older sister called to wish her a happy birthday, and not only called once, but called back again when the younger one didn't answer her phone as she was working. </p>
<p>But yeah, the first time I got an email while vacationing in Russia from my daughter at summer camp in LA telling me about what other daughter at camp in Carmel was up to, I just got teary eyed. (And yeah, the real reason for the email from the daughter in LA was to put more money on her card.)</p>
<p>I actually asked our school psychologist (who happens to be nationally known for his books about adolescents) this very question. He said that it is very important for the younger child to know about and continue to feel included in the older sibling's life. He suggested that the younger child see the older siblings dorm room, meet her college friends and hear about what she is involved in at school. He also said that phone calls and instant messaging can be helpful. I have a six year age spread between my third and youngest child. These two have always been very close. This is particularly hard for my youngest child because he is now the only child living at home. So in addition to missing his older brother, he is going to experience a very different kind of home life. Fortunately, his brother is only four hours away and we plan to try to visit him once a month.</p>
<p>I hope this was helpful.</p>
<p>We not only had the "Big Brothers Gone!" syndrome with the younger kids, but our DOGS kept going into their bedroom, looking at the beds, and sleeping in their doorway. Oh! It was so completely sad! </p>
<p>Now, sibs keep in touch with email but we make sure there are postcards, etc. around, already addressed and stamped, for quicky notes and just goofy one-liners. When we send a care-package, everyone puts something in, from M&M's to empty potato chip bags ("See! We ate yours!"). We let them put whatever they want in, with only a small weight limit. Brothers always were thrilled (so said they were). Now, it's a family tradition.</p>
<p>This year, everyone gets a Steeler's themed package.</p>
<p>When I was in college, my 8-year-old brother come stay me for a few weekends. I had a single dorm room so there were no roommate issues. We walked around campus, went to movies, and rode buses to local parks. A friend of mine at the same college also had her 8-year-old little sister visit, though our younger siblings were never there at the same time. I think these weekends were as enjoyable for the big sisters as they were for the kids.</p>
<p>When I was 13 I spent a wintry weekend with my elder sister, who was a senior at a small LAC. I LOVED it!!! She had sneaked a cat into her dorm room (Huxley) and I still remember how special I felt. All her friends were so nice to me! It was great.</p>