<p>So there's this guy who's been semi-stalkerish to me since middle school. He's nice and stuff (just a little creepy), but I just really don't want to hang out with him because of the slight creepiness. He sent me a message on facebook asking when I want to hang out, and I was just wondering how I should go about this since I hate to reject him and I hate not to respond. What is a nice way to do this?</p>
<p>Tell him no.</p>
<p>lie to him...just say you're really busy.</p>
<p>Just dont reply, if he doesnt get the point, tell him point blank your really busy with college.</p>
<p>^ yeah don't do either of those</p>
<p>Just tell him the truth, it'll hurt but it's the only way to stop him permanently and leading him on will just hurt him more over time.</p>
<p>just tell him straight out.</p>
<p>actually it will be nicer if you do it sooner than later.</p>
<p>"It's not you; it's me!"</p>
<p>how about...</p>
<p>"It's not me; it's YOU"</p>
<p>You could always swallow your pride and make his day/life by actually going on a date with him. </p>
<p>Hey, somebody gotta speak for the creepy losers of the world...</p>
<p>don't hate to reject him! It's good for him, it's good for you. </p>
<p>Let me explain. If you aren't clear about what you want in situations that require it and send mixed or weak messages other people may not understand that you're saying "no" because, well, because you never said "no". This doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to be cruel, but they way the world works is a guy asks and the girl says yes or no (more on this below). If it's no, then just say it. You don't have to give explanations or justify yourself. "Sorry, we're not that type of friend." Clear, to the point, unambiguous. </p>
<p>And it's good for him, too. It lets him know it's not going to happen so he can move on to find some girl who <em>does</em> want to go out with him. Sending halfway messages just strings him along and lets him get his hopes up. He may not realize you're saying "no" and will continue to send invitations, which will make him feel all the worse when he finally realizes that he's trying to come up with these things to do and you were not interested all along. Sure, it will sting to hear "no". But he'll get over it. </p>
<p>He put himself in a position where he had to hear a direct "no". A more socially skilled boy wouldn't issue such an open invitation about "when do you want to hang out". Instead he would ask a girl for a specific time/event and listen closely to the answer. For example, "do you want to get some pizza and then see the Simpson's movie this Fri?" The answers would be "yes", "no I can't", or "no I can't but how about next week?". The middle one is a "no we're not going to go out" while saving face for both sides.</p>
<p>Lastly keep in mind you don't have to justify yourself. If you don't want to go out with him then that's it, and you don't owe him any explanation even if he asks for one, unless you feel like giving one. Maybe something simple like "There's just no spark. Sorry." Which, of course, isn't really an explanation. And that's what you want; some guy who's asked you out has no right to demand you explain how you reached your decision. To tell the truth about how you see it ("you're a semi-creepy stalker") would be mean. And if you give him some made-up explanation to avoid hurting his feelings he may turn back on you promising to change (eg. "you don't like the shirts I wear? No problem. Lets go shopping and you pick out some you like").</p>
<p>Actually, women do that all the time to guys they dont want to talk to. They don't reply, just how it goes. If he can't take a hint, then tell him point blank.</p>
<p>Tell him that you have to wash your hair.</p>
<p>On a more serious note, just tell him that you're sorry and that you're really busy right now.</p>
<p>Nicest way - Take him out, buy him lunch and offer him a one night stand as a consolation prize.</p>
<p>Best way - Say, "sorry, but I'm very busy and I have way too many people in my life right now."</p>
<p>You may think these kinds of reponses are "polite", but they're not:</p>
<ul>
<li>Constantly being busy (Maybe she really is just busy. There have been people that I know like me, but our schedules just fail to mesh.)</li>
<li>Ignoring him completely (Does she not check her Facebook often? Maybe I should call her. She's not picking up my phonecalls? What a ****. Don't I even deserve acknowledgement, whether the answer is 'yes' or 'no'?)</li>
<li>A response like "Eh, ok, I guess." (Yes, I have gotten this one. All I can say is, **? Then when you say, "Oh, it's cool, I understand", they go "No, really, I want to". MIXED MESSAGES MUCH?)</li>
</ul>
<p>The only polite answer is to say, "Sorry, I don't think so." If every girl and every guy could be this direct, life would be a whole lot easier, and people would probably not develop weird social complexes like paranoid schizophrenia in which they don't trust anyone and always feel like people are lying or scheming against them. Lol. Harsh but true! Don't be a ***** and make people insane. Haha.</p>
<p>
[quote]
"It's not you; it's me!"
[/quote]
OMG, I just realized that this guy I hung out with a lot probably thought I was courting him because he said that same exact thing, and I was really confused as to what he meant at the time. I was essentially rejected without even seeking his affections.</p>
<p>give him a chance!</p>
<p>If you say you're busy everytime he wants to hang out, I think it's pretty obvious. If he doesn't get it, well, he's a dumbass and you need to tell it straight into his face.</p>
<p>Actually what you should do is hang out with him. Something innocous like ice cream shop or something. Make sure you meet him there and he doesn't pick you up. He could actually be a really cool dude. Or he could be a total creep. If he turns out to be a creep, this makes it easy for you to get out of. Just start saying ridiculous things until he loses interst in you (be creative), that way you don't have to reject him and he'll leave you alone.</p>
<p>It really bugs me how quickly girls are to label a guy as 'creepy.'</p>
<p>Ok, creepy is when a guy drives by your house every day for no apparent reason.</p>
<p>Creepy is not asking a girl if she wants to hang out sometime. THAT IS NORMAL. If a guy likes you, it is normal for him to show a <em>healthy</em> interest. Normal people look each other up on facebook, check away messages, look at online pics all the time. Everyone does it. If you don't want people to see things about you, don't put them on the internet. Give the dude a chance.</p>
<p>Also, everyone on this thread is telling you to reject him by saying you're busy. That is such a cop-out and incredibly lame. There are only two possible outcomes if you tell him that. Number 1: he knows what's up when you say that and will think you are a lame, spineless b*tch. Number 2: he doesn't get the message and will continue to pester you. Either way, you lose. If you're going to lie, and least say you're seeing someone else right now (although I think this is just as ethically bad, but at least the ramifications won't be so bad for you)</p>
<p>Assuming you have zero physical or emotional attraction to this guy, the correct way to reject him is to tell him, "Bob, i'm flattered, but no, i'm sorry." Don't let him make you feel bad - just stick with no. It's biological and the way things are supposed to be. If you start getting all mixed up with your messages because you're afraid to say no, it will be worse for both of you. He'll get over you quick with a solid no. If he's one of the 0.001% who don't, well that's what restraining orders are for.</p>
<p>
[quote]
he knows what's up when you say that and will think you are a lame, spineless b*tch.
[/quote]
I don't see why this would be bad. The OP would achieve her objective anyway, so what this creepy dude thinks of her is of little concern.</p>