<p>Well, I strongly believe in personal integrity. It takes a strong person to tell the truth and do the right thing. Taking the easy way out and lying (i.e., the ends justify the means) is just wrong and dishonorable in my opinion.</p>
<p>My point was that it's a bad idea because one of two possible things will happen. Number 1 accomplishes her objective, but leaves the guy having no respect for her (ok, so maybe you don't care). Number 2 doesn't accomplish anything. So you're taking a 50/50 chance, and you're LYING (personal integrity?). What I said to do doesn't leave anything to chance and lets you come out of the situation with dignity.</p>
<p>Not to double-post, but I really agree with atomi. It's not just about this one guy, it's about how you should always conduct yourself with a person. Each and every one of us deserves decency, that is, upfront honesty. It takes a lot of courage for a guy to ask a girl out, so the least you can do is save him guessing games ("I'm busy" or other excuses) or humiliation (ignoring him). Anything else is cowardly and fake imho. Do you really want to be those things? The OP's objective is to let the guy down nicely. That means being as straight up as possible.</p>
<p>Or, save yourself the time, and just don't respond. Welcome to the real world, not everything in this world is nice and straight forward all the time. She doesn't have to even waste her time responding if she isn't interested.</p>
<p>let me chime in again and say I agree with atomi. That's why I wrote telling him no is good for her & good for him. It lets him know exactly where he stands so he can move on, it is good for her in terms of personal integrity and standing up for herself.</p>
<p>I wonder, though, if the OP is even reading this thread anymore since she hasn't posted :confused:</p>
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You should never do this. In the rare occasion where your mutual affections seem to slightly, in some way, have their bonds but not extensively, should you consider it. Otherwise if there are no present intentions or any future possibilities you can discern immediately, its better to just cut the puppy's tail off. It would hurt more later.
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"It's not you; it's me!"
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I've refrained from using that. I've approached it diplomatically before - as in stating the flaws of both sides and its not having a oh I don't know - synergistic quality that could lengthen a most likely short-term fling - something with no future... something hardly considerable. SOMETHING that would just WASTE both of our TIME. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>if he was a stalker he would be watching you right now - don't use that term lightly to describe guys that happen to look at you for more then 5 seconds</p>
<p>in any case to reject him just tell him you aren't interested - if he is persistent like you say then really any other answer will leave him wondering</p>
<p>just dont hang out with him and he'll stop trying once he gets the picture you arent interested.
if not, just call him fat and ugly. that always does the trick.</p>
<p>
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Or, save yourself the time, and just don't respond. Welcome to the real world, not everything in this world is nice and straight forward all the time
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</p>
<p>See, this is sad. Really sad. It takes two seconds to write "Sorry, not interested" in a Facebook message. Welcome to the real world, where people are *******s - now you can be one, too! Oook. Nice life philosophy.</p>
<p>It's a lot harder than you think to tell someone who has displayed interest in you that you're not interested in them. You're basically telling them that they're not up to your standards and who wants to tell someone that...I do agree that it needs to be done though.</p>
<p>KindlyCuddly, you're not really saying they're not up to your standards. You're saying they don't match your preferences. There's a difference ...</p>