How to Simulate Life in the Navy

<p>These have been around for years but some newcomers should find them very funny.</p>

<p>USNA applicants will understand after they get in.</p>

<p><a href="http://www.bluejacket.com/humor_navylife.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.bluejacket.com/humor_navylife.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for 6 months straight.</p>

<p>Run all of the piping and wires inside your house on the outside of the
walls.</p>

<p>Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling</p>

<p>Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the
following day, then have her make you stand in the back yard at 6am and
read it to you.</p>

<p>Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours before going anywhere. This
is to ensure your engine is properly "lighted off."</p>

<p>Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawnmower.</p>

<p>Set your alarm clock to go off at random during the night, jump up and
get dressed as fast as you can making sure you button up the top
button on your shirt, stuff you pants into your socks. Run out into the
backyard and uncoil the garden hose.</p>

<p>Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and back
doors so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass
through one of them.</p>

<p>Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a
curtain. Have you wife whip open the curtain about 3 hours after you
go to sleep. She should then shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble
"Sorry, wrong rack."</p>

<p>Go back through the forum. You'll find I posted a far longer list. My shipmates and I once spent an entire midwatch coming up with new ones. Hey, gotta do SOMETHING to stay awake! </p>

<p>Whoever came up with some of these should really go into comedy. They're classics. :D</p>