<p>I'm about to be in my third year of college but I still haven't made any new friends here (at least friends that I hang out with on a regular basis). My freshman year I was extremely shy and never talked to many people the whole year. Then later on I tried joining new clubs in order to meet new people. I joined a Christian club back when I was still a Christian but no longer believe in God. Then tried out a volunteering service but I was just unable to do it because of my schedule. Then last semester I joined the tennis club. It was a good experience but it was still hard to connect with the people there. I met a few people that seemed pretty cool but they are just acquaintances. I just have various acquaintances around campus but no friends at all to hang out with on the weekends or other nights.</p>
<p>In fact, most of the time, I end up staying home/in the apartment and chill because I have nowhere to go. I can't go to bars, I've already been to like 5 clubs in this town in the past and I don't like meeting people at clubs, been to maybe two parties my whole life since I rarely know about them or even get invited to them. I also tried meeting people in the classes I took but I could never get past the acquaintance level with any of these people. Throughout the first two years of college, I would try asking out many girls too (in classes or somewhere else). I got a few phone numbers but it never went farther than that.</p>
<p>All of the dates and sexual experiences I've had with girls have all been through online dating sites. And I just feel pathetic finding girls that way so I've stopped doing it since a few months ago. And this summer has the been the same way except I've approached more girls than I ever have my whole life, which is around 20 or so (and these were random approaches, not just approaches from a party or whatever). I've even tried talking to anyone anywhere I go, like the pool, gym, etc. Even guys. I've made some male acquaintances at the pool and gym and that's it (and maybe two female acquaintances).</p>
<p>I feel really ackward sharing my lack of a social life online like this but I really don't know what I'm doing wrong. Tons of people online tell me I'm intellectual, decent looking, and so on. I have other passions in life that I attend to during my free time but it would be nice once in a while if I could actually find people to go places with you know? Does this happen to a lot of people or what because I feel like the odd one out as always. Thanks for any help.</p>
<p>acquaintances arent always a bad thing. why don't u call one of them up on the weekend and invite them somewhere. initiate something instead of waiting for someone else to call you. many of the friends that i've made - happened becuz i randomly called them up and we went to see a movie or a show or something. then you have something to talk about. and the more you hang out - the deeper your relationship will become.</p>
<p>Yeah I suppose you're right. But I just wonder why I've rarely been invited to anything by any of these people I've talked to in the past. And all of the roommates I've had in the past have all been the type that just want to stay inside or go do their own thing every day.</p>
<p>I find that many times if one steps up and does the inviting or planning and inviting it will happen for you. Sporting event?? Movie?? Dinner group??? The hanging out sometimes comes later. What would you like to do if you could get invited??? Plan it and do the inviting yourself.</p>
<p>Best advice I can give you: until you meet everyone at your school, you can't say that you don't have any friends there.</p>
<p>I'm shy. I hide it well. After a similar situation during my freshman year, I realized that I had to come out of my shell. So I talked to everyone who was around me - started conversations, went to the dining hall together, met their friends, and went to social gatherings (not easy for me). It worked. </p>
<p>If possible, acquire another roommate. </p>
<p>Try something like a poetry magazine - some extracurricular where everyone ends up talking a lot. Eating clubs? Anything where you invariably wind up chatting instead of getting stuff done. Newpaper? Conservative/liberal student magazine?</p>
<p>Ask acquaintances in your class if they would like to do a study group before a test. Don't hesitate to xerox notes for someone who missed class. Talk in class - that's how I met someone in the library ("You're in my orgo class, aren't you?").</p>
<p>Yeah there were plenty of times where I would go up to some random guy from one of my classes and say "hey you're from x class aren't you?" and then asked if I could eat with him. He said sure. Then we would talk and make good acquaintances. Did the same with a few girls. But many nights I will still be eating in the cafeteria by myself.</p>
<p>I lived in a dorm the first year with an annoying friend from high school. Then moved into an apartment last year with some random guys. They were all unwilling to ever go out. I tried the 'let's study before the test' thing to a few girls in the past too. They would all decline the offer.</p>
<p>Just keep it up. People get into their own little worlds, and I have seen with my Ds friends (she is still in HS, but I think applies) is that one person initiates things in the beginning of friendships, everyone is busy, or lazy, or doesn't want rejection, so they may not take the initative. My D ends up organizing alot because no one else can pull it together, so she jsut stops after awhile to take a break. I ask her, so you doing something this weekend? No, cause no one can figure out anything. And, in college, a lot of people make friends because they are thrown together either at a party, a bbq, a sign up table, waiting in line, whatever.</p>
<p>And, you will find that many people you see hanging out together are just aquaintinces. Most people really have a hand full of tight friends. Really. I can see that with my Ds, they have tons of people to talk to, but just a few confidants.</p>
<p>So take the initiative. Call for a tennis game. Call for a movie. Keep at it without being a pest. If you ask someone more than three times and they are always busy, move on. No loss either.</p>
<p>My H has lots of guys he ONLY sees golfing, others he ONLY sees at soccer, and others he ONLY sees through work...</p>
<p>It just seems like to me that I would've at least been invited to something a lot more often with all of the acquaintances I had, but rarely was. I seriously doubt every single person initiates everything. I would have no idea where to invite them to as I know of no parties or events. I don't inviting people to movies. Too impersonal.</p>
<p>Strange. Maybe you're doing something wrong? When you hang out with a soon-to-be acquaintance, do you talk a lot, ask a lot of questions, or do you just sit there and say nothing? Sometimes little things like that could push people away.</p>
<p>Also, do your acquaintances have a lot of friends? They could possibly be not of the sociable type.</p>
<p>Wow Unearth, that sucks man. I'm the same way except I've been on random dates and a one night stand one time and that was it. All from dating sites though.</p>
<p>Ive also never really had to many friends. Like I have friends that I only have becasue I had to be there friends.</p>
<p>Like when I played Football, Track, wrestling in HS. My teammates were my friends. But they arent now. I dont know why they just arent. When we werent forced together we just seperated.</p>
<p>I was pretty popular in hs. I mean people knew me, i was a starting athlete who went all city. But even thogh they knew my name. They werent my friends.</p>
<p>I have only had 1 friend that wasent foced upon me and he moved to ireland and I havent talked to him in 3 years.</p>