<p>I am a freshman college student and I have been having some problems with my peers pressuring me to drink and I really have no idea what to do. I drink, but always in moderation, something few people seem to have heard of. It hasn't been a real problem until a week or two ago when a kid on my floor made me into his personal project.</p>
<p>This kid is the heaviest drinker I know, which is really saying something. For some reason he thinks it is great fun to harass me. Honestly not in an outright nasty way just not in a very nice one either. He bothers me several times a night and lately has started bringing along 5-10 friends of his all of whom think it is the funniest thing they have ever seen. It isnt all words either, they have lately started mock carrying away from my books and stuff like this. I am honestly not all that worried because I know how to handle myself and if it came right down to it I dont think they could force me to do anything I really didnt want. The problem though is I can't make them leave me alone without causing serious damage to them, which is not something that I want to have happen. That would be bringing this to a whole other level which is not what I want.</p>
<p>The drunker he gets the more he bothers me which is a real problem since he usually starts drinking around 5pm EVERYDAY. When I tell him no, I don't want to drink, I need to study... he never listens.</p>
<p>In short, if I tell him no, he just bothers me more and if I tell him yes it doesn't matter in the morning. Again, I don't mind drinking but I don't want to do it at the level they do it at nor really even with him or his crowd at all. I really just want them to leave me alone.</p>
<p>At the moment I have been trying to walk a tough line. I figure if I oppose them, like telling him "Get the hell away from me and stay there" it will just encourage him. Same thing with going to the RA, which is not something I am willing to do anyway. Yet I am not really going along with him either. I figure it will blow over at some point; he is just really making my life very hard at the moment, barging into my dorm room with his friends at all times of the day and night. Beyond that it is quickly becoming a joke around campus which is just encouraging them.</p>
<p>Any tips on what to do? I am really at my wits end at the moment.</p>
<p>Don't ever react to a drunk. If you react then he is in control of you. Instead, you must act. I would do one of the following two things:</p>
<p>I. Do not respond to him in anyway at all. Literally ignore every single comment and continue what you wish to be doing as if he were non-existent. This is a shame mechanism that works quite well sometimes. All throughought my high school whenever I was picked on I would take the barrage of verbal assault or whatever it was and just act cool as if it never affected me. Try something like that.</p>
<p>II. Just drink with him one night. Let him feel as though he conquered you into drinking. After this he should respect you and feel accomplished. College is all about experiences :)</p>
<p>Tell them you take a kidney medication that can't mix with alcohol. You didn't say anything before because it was private and all. Last time you got drunk, you ended up in th emergency room. </p>
<p>He will find someone else to annoy. If you do drink and he sees you say, well, I can partake 3 drinks a week.</p>
<p>"Dude, man you smell bad, when you last shower, you sticking up my room"</p>
<p>"Gentlemen, I got killer paper due, hey, how about I meet you in your room in like 15 minutes."</p>
<p>Then say, hey, let me get my camera!!! Woo hoo!!! This would be great for myspace or whatever. Play along for five minutes. Once they see you aren't impressed or interested, it will blow over.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice. I have thought about both and I am afaird neither works very well. For ignoring them, they seem to get a kick out of it. The more I ignore them the more they bug me. The only way the leave me alone is if I pay attention to them which is never that fun. As for drinking with them I am worried about that for two reasons. For starters, I dont think that drinking is all he is after because he knows good and well that I drink though I do admit I have never done so with him before. My second worry is that his group has a policy about a 5 drink minimum and that is usually in a row not spread out. Beyond that I have heard nasty stories about what they do to kids once they have them good and drunk. Thus while I think drinking with him might help, I am not willing to do it on his terms.</p>
<p>Don't ever let someone pressure you into drinking or anything else. Just walk away. Don't even listen to them. If necessarily, for your own safety, leave the party or event, lock yourself in your room, or inform the Residential Advisor. </p>
<p>NEVER DRINK WITH SOMEONE LIKE THIS! If someone were harassing you about sex, joining a gang, or committing a criminal act, would say yes sometimes just to make that person happy? </p>
<p>No one should ever tolerate being harassed, because it will just get worse down the road.</p>
<p>I find their behavior menacing and not innocent at all. I fear it will escalate, especially now that there's a group of them. I know you don't want to "buck up" the problem, but if you were my child I'd tell you to have a friendly, off-the-record chat with your RA or someone in student services. Make the meeting in neutral territory where you will not be observed. There is not good way for you to handle this problem, and the problem shouldn't be yours to address. It seems to me that this group is violating school policy on several levels, and so it is up to school representatives to help you find a solution. I wouldn't go along with their demands. The issue is all about control, and I would feel less safe if I handed it over. Get moving and good luck.</p>
<p>I drink, but when I'm not up for it, and someone is pressuring me to do it, I tell them I'm on medication that I can't mix with alcohol (this is actually true sometimes). Sometimes I say what it is, and sometimes not, but I've never continued to have someone bother me. I've actually had really good conversations with people about it once I mention it. </p>
<p>In this situation you don't need to be telling the truth about the medication, but you do need to be telling the truth about one thing-- that you don't want to sacrifice your health to drink with some loser.</p>
<p>That's not a normal social scene, and it's not innocent partying. Make friends outside of this group...it doesn't even sound safe to me to party with kids like this.</p>
<p>This may be a cop out, but take your work and go to the library. I used to have a group of friends who I went with to the library almost every weeknight to avoid all of the freshman dorm shenanigans. We'd get together after dinner, walk to the library, study & socialize there and then get together again for the walk home.</p>
<p>At the moment, what I am planning to do is just try and avoid him for the rest of the weekend and then try to catch him sober this week and ask him in a nice way but clearly to lay off. I hope though I am far from 100% certain that if I lay it out for him he might at least back off at least little. Personally I feel that I have to at least try talking to him since none of the rest of my opinions are that hot.</p>
<p>If this doesn't work than I don't see I have any choice but just to take a hard line with him and his friends. Just something on the order of, f*uck off every time they bother me. While I know this will just encourage them for a while I hope that if I keep it up and am very forceful about it they will go away after awhile. Again though I am just afraid that this will lead to violence because I don't have as much control as I might like and they often push me right to the edge.</p>
<p>Just GET OUT. We understand that you're trying to be independent here- but college is all about knowing when and how to get help for situations like this. You do NOT deserve to be harassed like this, especially in your first month of schIool. Especially if you're paying some of your education.</p>
<p>Do what the above helpful posters have said- lock your door (usually works), talk to an RA (maybe bring him in your room around the time this person comes in to harass you), or talk to someone in ResLife.</p>
<p>Where is your roommate at this time??</p>
<p>At this point, I just wouldn't talk to him anymore- don't even approach him when he's sober. It's not going to work- he won't remember.</p>
<p>What you say makes a lot of sense. I did try talking to him today and all I think it did was to make him mad. My roommate is doing all he can, he runs interference when he can but fundamentally it isn't his problem. Quite frankly the reason that I am not willing to go to the RA is that all that will happen is that the RA will tell the kid to lay off, which he wouldn't do. In addition, I will never hear the end of the fact that I had to run to the RA for help.</p>
<p>He has just worn out my patience. He is ruining my life and made it so I haven't been able to do much of anything this weekend. Currently I am going to talk to a grad student I know that works for the school and tell him about the problem so that if there is a major problem it wouldn't be just my word against this other kid. Basically though, I think as dumb as it may sound the only way to get through to this kid for good is to beat the ***** out of him. He is bound to come around tonight and I plan to just tell him to f*uck off, I am never going to drink with you or hang with you so stop bothering me. If he gets violent which I think he probably will then I will take him down. I like my chances-I am a decent size, have been doing karate for a while and this kid is just a drunk moron. It doesn't sound like the best opinion to even me but I think in the long this is the only thing that will work and let me keep my self respect.</p>
<p>dude im sorry but your going to have to kick his ass</p>
<p>when he comes around just be like, "dude lay off i dont even like you why are you in my room?"
then if he starts laughing or harrasing you or w/e be like, "get out!"</p>
<p>then if he still doesnt listen... slug him.</p>
<p>his friends prob wont get into it and most likely he'll come after you, just throughly kick his ass and he'll leave you alone and prob be scared of you to boot.
if his friends do get involved, which i doubt they will, htne you might get beat a bit, but it wont be too bad and theyll leave you alone after that. also itll look bad for them cause they basically just came into your room and started a fight.</p>