<p>Okay. So I have just finished my first year of college and applied as a transfer to Northwestern and got in. However, I have trouble deciding whether I should go or not because I didnt tell any of my college friends, except for like 3. I know I should have told them earlier but I was accepted so late after the school year finished and I wasnt even sure I would get in (acceptance rate was < 8%). Nevertheless, my friends depend on me. We play video games a lot and I am a leading gamer (sometimes). They also made a big deal about how I should visit them next year in their dorms. However, theyre not perfect friends in that they always forget to invite me whenever they are doing something and I could use that against them when I tell them of my transfer. Speaking of telling them, would facebook be the most appropriate way? </p>
<p>Also, one of my other friends said he was thinking about transferring to NYU once and the rest of my friends jumped him with unforeseen criticism. Plus, how should I tell them I am transferring because the college we went to is really far away from my home (about half the country) and I know I will probably never visit or see them again?</p>
<p>Another thing, it just seems really weird investing so much time in socializing and then breaking off and reducing all those connections to a simple facebook friend. Also, one of my friends said that college is supposed to be the best time of your life where a lot of your best friends are made and I think transferring will prevent me from having those type of friendships. Also, my dad said college is only supposed to be for only study and not fun.</p>
<p>Thanks for anyone that comments.</p>
<p>After spending three years at a community college, I wish I would’ve listened to your father or got that type of advice from my dad. Anyway, I made some bad friends for the first couple years and then my social life went through the roof after they dropped out. I went from 3 friends to ~50 this past school year. Now, they know everyone is going to transfer so the story is different, but it is still depressing because yes, chances are you will never see them again.</p>
<p>I don’t think your friends depend on you as much as you think. Ultimately, this was your decision to transfer and you could tell them your reasons. You don’t have to use anything personal they’ve done against you as a reason…for some reason I see that kind of petty. Facebook is not a good way to tell someone you’re transferring, tell them face to face if they mean a lot to you. </p>
<p>College is a good time to make that happen. It is very important to “network” because we will all be the future leaders and citizens that run this country someday. Honestly, though, by the end of college you probably won’t keep most of the friends you’ve made in college in the loop if you guys want to be in different places. You can still have these type of friendships as a transfer student, just gotta be open and sociable. I have no doubt that I’ll make friends when I arrive at my new university in the fall. </p>
<p>I’m sure you can still play video games online and keep in touch that way. I’ve done that for the past few years while my friend did college in another state for four years.</p>
<p>There’s no reason to tell anyone until you are admitted. Your friends will understand why you are transferring and will stay your friends. The ones that don’t understand were never really your friends.</p>
<p>compute14 I was in the same boat as you until two weeks ago when I was accepted as a transfer for Columbia. I go to a top 15 private university already and told one person at the university that I was applying for transfer. I felt somewhat guilty applying for transfer and thought that my friends at my current school would think I was a traitor for jumping from my current school to another one, plus the admit rate for Columbia transfers is ridiculously low and I didn’t think I’d get in. When I got in I had less than a week left on campus and told my friends as quickly as possible, and every single one of them reacted very positively and said that if the transfer would give me more opportunities in my field than I should transfer and they wouldn’t think any less of me. I was already planning on spending a semester interning in a different city, so perhaps that made it easier for them to think of me as not being physically on campus with them, but I think the point is that I made a lot of really good friends at my old university who were mature enough to understand that I had to do what was best for me. Like entomom said, if you tell your friends that you’re transferring and they react negatively, take it as a sign that they’re not true friends because they can’t emphasize with your current situation and they don’t want what might be best for you. The way I did it was just by telling them individually in person, explaining how our current school didn’t offer me many opportunities in my specific area of interest, so maybe you can just tell them that in a pm on Facebook while you’re chatting or better yet video Skype them so you can see each other face to face. If they react positively, you can still play with them online and video chat with each other. Unless you stay in the same city your entire life you’re going to have to maintain some long distance friendships, so why not start now?</p>
<p>In regards to the worry about not making friends at Northwestern, I’m sure most universities with low transfer admit rates have special orientation programs where you’ll meet other transfers in the same boat as you. The first couple of weeks at any school is a time where everyone is in the same boat in terms of not knowing very many people, and this applies for both freshman and transfers, so I’m sure you’ll have at least that to bond with your new classmates over. Even concerning students who are returning, I’m sure you can get involved in extracurricular to meet new people, or talk to the people in your classes. Like CalDud said, networking is a big deal at any school.</p>
<p>As a person who changed schools every 2-3 years since initiation, I’ll tell you that leaving your friends behind isn’t that big of a deal, because, firstly, people that really care about you will make an effort to stay in contact, even if it’s online, and secondly because you will always make new friends, wherever you are.</p>
<p>Viennese, I concur. OP, is it really worth it to give up such an opportunity for people who don’t care enough to invite somewhere, only to have them forget you entirely in a few weeks? You can always find gamers elsewhere!</p>
<p>In the end, it is your decision to transfer. Not theirs. You obviously applied to transfer because something about your current college situation was not right, and you were accepted. Friends are very important, not going to lie, but depending on what kind of video games you have (XBOX live, for example) you can still play long distance. And in the end, if they mean that much to you and they are good friends, they will respect your reasons for transferring and they will make efforts to stay in touch with you after you are gone.</p>
<p>I think you should worry if your friends to react badly. From my personal experience, my friends at my current uni were supportive and encouraged me to go to a place that’s a better fit for me. If your friends react badly, it’s not because you, but they’re most likely jealous you’re leaving and they secretly want out. Just casually announce it when you finally decide to leave, maybe facebook would be more subtle…</p>
<p>Woops! I meant “should NOT.”</p>