I’m not sure what the question is, so here is what I assume: the OP is worried to be more than 6 hours away from home for some reason - lack of parental support, lack of HS friends (are many staying at home?), fear of a new town and new social situations…
OP sounds like the ONLY issue is that the college is “too far” away and it will take “too long” to get home. I went home for Thanksgiving and winter break in the fall semesters, and I never went home in the spring semester until school was out. I was 2 hours away from home.
This statement by the OP:
“it is too far for me and once I get through traffic it takes closer to six and a half or seven hours to get home.”
is SO immaterial to the college experience to me that I find it hard to believe. I agree therefore that making a list of pros and cons of attending the 6-hour away university is the best place to start.
To the OP: I would NOT talk to your father about this until you hash out in your own mind that this ONE reason is SO important to you that it overrides every positive aspect of attending that university.
Everyone is different and not everyone wants to be far from home. My D went to college 2,500 miles from home and was miserable and had a terrible roommate situation her first semester. We could not convince her to stay for the year to see if things improved so she came home at Christmas and enrolled at the local CC and stayed at home. She was very down on herself in the beginning about coming home, but has done extremely well at the CC and is transferring to UCSD this fall and is very excited. She is moving out of the house this summer and since we live in San Diego she can come home whenever she needs to. I have learned through her experience that not all kids want to be away from home for college and that is ok.
Say what you’ve told us – you are getting cold feet, but don’t want to do something stupid.
“Dad, I am worried about college. Can you help me decide? Can we figure out a plan?” When Dad is exasperated that you are backing out, agree. Just agree, “yes, I know, I can’t believe it either. But I’m really scared.”
Can you try it for a year and then decide? Can you make plans, now, for when/how you come home to visit and your family visits you? It is, indeed very typical to get scared when the moving part comes – but that doesn’t make you wrong. But I would try to think of it as an adventure, think logically not emotionally about it, and not panic.
“The total cost per year is $30,000 and I got a scholarship for $12,000. plus my federal grants, I will owe around $10-12,000 a year. The CC would cost apx $15,000 but with aid I would end up paying less than the private univ.”
How does your family propose to pay the $10,000 to $12,000 each year? You use the word “owe” does that mean someone is taking out loans for this? If so, how much debt are you and your family expecting to have to take on each year? Hint: if you yourself need to borrow any money beyond what the federal student loans allow you to, you are taking on too much debt.
Happykid had to attend our local community college because of money. However, the day she graduated from her CC she turned and thanked us for letting her stay home for two more years. It turns out that she hadn’t felt ready to leave home when she graduated from high school! All I could think was how I’d spent so much time feeling guilty about the money issue, when that hadn’t mattered at all. She did great at the university she transferred to and is doing well now in her career of choice.
If you want two more years at home, it is perfectly OK. Sort through your reasoning carefully so that you can present it well to your parents.
I don’t see the question as “should I attend the school?.”
I’m reading it as “I know I DON’T want to go there…how do I tell my dad?”
And I’ll stick with my earlier response: you choose a time when he’s liable to have the time to really hear what you’re saying, and dive into the conversation.
I think the key point here is struggling with slight depression. If you are clinically depressed rather than just bummed out teenager depressed, that should be your number one concern. I have seen the effects in my family and your mental health is a lot more important than any grants or prestige or pride issues. You don’t want to be far from home and seriously depressed.