I’m currently enrolled in the computer science program and I failed programming during my first try and again in this semester last time when my mom got to know this she was so mad but she didn’t tell my dad with the promise of passing this time but I failed this time also computer science is not something I want to do and I’m doing it was the sake of my parents and I also switched my major to business now and I have no idea how I’m supposed to tell my mom about this ? Please help me I’m really scared of my parents and it kills me this will disappoint them a lot
You just have to be upfront and honest. Show them that you have a plan to succeed academically and get a job after graduation.
Go talk with the counselors at your college and get some help practicing the right words. But something along the line of, “I changed my major to business. I like it a lot better than computer science. I knew for certain computer science wasn’t for me when I wasn’t able to pass the class that I had to retake.
Now that I am in the right major, I am sure that won’t have any trouble with my classes.”
I did I have social anxiety so I’m really scared of talking to anyone about this and I rather die than talking to my parents
You can’t really hide it. Are you still at school? Maybe over the phone is easier than face to face.
@nalita - This is just a blip. Now you get the opportunity to figure out what YOU want to do and not what your parents want you to do. Maybe the F is a gift? Good luck.
Your parents are probably concerned that you will have a major that gives you good career opportunities after school, if i were insisting my kid majored in CS that’s where I’d be coming from. But if CS is really hard for you, and not interesting or fun, you probably won’t succeed in it, so Plan B is likely in order. They may see that, once they have time to digest all the facts of what’s happened so far.
You could compose a nice email about it. Then they will probably follow up in person but at least you’d get your thoughts together first.
I’m sorry you feel responsible for your mom keeping the retake secret from your dad but IMO that’s between them, not you. You told a parent, IMO it’s not your job to tell both of them.
Good luck!
I like the email idea. My 20 year old hates to disappoint me, but he did in high school (great test taker but had a hard time breaking down big assignments so they were always late, started after I saw the zero). I’d freak out, but then we’d have discussions that went well. I’d rather have a heads up from him so I could process it better (my other 4 kids aren’t as upset if they disappoint me). It’s only because I want the best for my kids. I’d never choose their major, but it had to be something practical.
Saying that you’d rather die than telling your parents is very worrisome. If you reallly feel like that, rather than using it as a figure of speech, get yourself to a counsellor ASAP.
I promise you that nothing will upset your parents as much as your killing yourself.
They will be disappointed. They may be very angry. They will, however, at some point have to realise that whether you pass a class or not isn’t under their control, and it isn’t really under yours either - all you could promise really is to work as hard as you could, you have no control over whether this was sufficient for you to pass the class,
Assuming you did work hard, it is clear that CS wasn’t an appropriate major for you and your parents shouldn’t have pushed you into it in the first place.
Your username makes me think your parents may be recent immigrants from Asia. PLEASE talk to your counsellors. I promise you they will have seen it all before.
Thankyou for the advice.Yes I’m a immigrants child I’m moved like a 1 and half years ago so as a child of a immigrant they want me do really well actually I feel like they want me to become someone they want to (when they were my age) they constantly says that I have to be be better than them I always feel like I’m under lot of pressure because of that and going to counseling cost lot of money I can’t affort that with my part time if I ask money for counseling my parents would laugh at me and say what kinda of a stress a 20 year old can have @Tigerle @SweetSoulMusic
Yes yes I want to do that but I live with them
Nalita, does your college not have a free counseling service? Please use that if it’s available.
I think you’ve got some good advice above. Best of luck. I hope your parents understand. Maybe you could even point them here to talk to us for reassurance?
I can’t think of a college that doesn’t offer FREE counseling of some kind to enrolled students.
Please look into this ASAP…although it’s likely that your term has ended and you are already home…right?
Yeah so they don’t offer now
Besides counseling, do you have an advisor on faculty? I would be talking to them and getting their take. Their take can be the take you present to your parents. And then it’s coming from a neutral party.
Here is a hotline if you feel like you need to talk to someone immediately.
1-800-273-8255
Your parents may be upset that you failed a class, but they would never, ever want you to hurt yourself. When you tell them about the class, please also tell them how you are feeling right now.
There is a major that is the right fit for you. One day you will be able to look back at his moment and see how it led you to your career.
I told my mom through a phone call the call went ok she said she will discuss this with my dad when they come home I’m pretty sure it’s going to go bad in the evening
Must be a relief not to be hiding though. Hope it goes well!
If you couldn’t pass the first programming class after 2 tries you definitely shouldn’t major it that – I would go with that logic when telling them
My oldest did this four years ago. He had prepared all the information and arguments in advance about career prospects and how he would still graduate in 4 years, how the CS classes were just not the type of work he wanted to immerse into. It was comforting to us that he had a plan for success and not just a list of excuses for him dropping the STEM track.
He is now a successful and happy business analyst at a consulting company.