<p>Hi!</p>
<p>I was looking at the Common App essays, and the one about personal background struck me instantly. My question is about writing the essay, though. </p>
<p>My parents have been violent with each other and me, then mentally abusive. I'm not going to go into detail here, but since I was 8 it was pretty bad. It influenced me to where I matured quickly and took on a parental role. I work to support my mom (who had a turn around and now helps as well), babysit my sisters and do everything around the house from cooking to cleaning, and still try to fit in activities so my sisters see that they too can handle anything.</p>
<p>It was a really challenging thing to overcome, and of course I still have my days. Is there any way to make this not a victim story, but someone who rose when there wasn't support?</p>
<p>Thanks for any input.</p>
<p>Sure, focus on the positives - easy, there are lots! Life gave you lemons and you made lemonade. I’d say your resilience makes you the perfect candidate for success in college.</p>
<p>I think it’s awkward to read essays about abuse that is still happening because I constantly have the feeling that someone from outside should have intervened. I was put in foster care for circumstances similar to what you describe.
It’s not the kind of situation that anyone should have had to rise from, and to insinuate that it was somehow a blessing in disguise seems kind of icky to me.</p>
<p>@ halcyonheather I didn’t say anything about a blessing in disguise. </p>
<p>OP overcame a great hardship and I fully support writing about it instead of wishing it away. </p>
<p>The awkwardness is minimized by a carefully crafted essay that focuses on how OP survived/ thrived inspite of the hardship.</p>
<p>@jamcafe Thank you! I think as long as I emphasize the fact I’m growing it should work out. Figuring out how to write it is another issue, I’ll figure it out!</p>
<p>@halcyonheather I have had interventions within the story, I haven’t gone into full detail. And you’re correct, no one SHOULD have to rise but I did, and it’s the biggest aspect of my life.</p>
<p>@heatherian</p>
<p>With your personality/maturity, you give the impression that you would be able to treat the topic with the right kind of sensitivity. It can work.</p>
<p>One thing you need to make sure of is to not broach too many different ‘struggles’. There needs to be a central story that a reader can follow. It’s okay to make use of the expository style in such a case. When you do narrate, paint a picture of a household scene/conflict event quickly, and then move on to resolution right away.</p>
<p>I don’t see any risk of this sounding like a victim or self-pity story. It has to do with the ratio of ‘I’m suffering’:’ I’m taking charge’ descriptions. If you write to the admissions team like how you wrote to us, you should be just fine.</p>
<p>I will actually be posting up a hardship essay on my website soon: [The</a> App Style - A College Application Guide](<a href=“http://www.theappstyle.com%5DThe”>http://www.theappstyle.com) . In the meantime, feel free to browse around for pointers while you are drafting.</p>
<p>@splashofscience that helps a lot, thank you!</p>